First time in court....

Yesterday was my first hearing before a court since becoming a lawyer.

I represented juveniles while in law school, wrote briefs on behalf of clients for immigration clinic, and also participated in Innocence Project. I told myself that juvenile court was a lot worse, because at least dom rel orders are modifiable.

I mean, it has to be easier, right? RIGHT? (Right.)

So we get to the court yesterday morning all bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Wait for a couple of adoptions to go through. Then we go into the courtroom. First thing that struck me was there were no tables for plaintiff and defendant. Rather, they were pushed TOGETHER, so they would literally be staring each other in the eye.

So I turn to opposing counsel and ask if we can rearrange the furniture so that the benches are not pushed together. His reaction was something like this:

It proved to be fruitless anyway, because the judge hadn't taken TWO steps into the courtroom before stopping dead in his tracks and announcing that he couldn't hear the case because of a conflict. Apparently 4 out of the 5 judges in town have conflicts with opposing party in this case. The 5th is at Disney World. (Lucky duck.)

My almost-favorite part was when opposing counsel turned to his client and asked if the judge had represented him before (after the judge told him he had served as an ad litem attorney for his case). I looked at him exactly like he had looked at me....then slowly explained to both of them that attorneys ad litem represent CHILDREN (and the incapacitated which, given their sterling presence in the courtroom, maybe I can now see the rationale of asking him that question).

I say almost-favorite part because something even better happened. After all the conflicts were laid out before the court (and let me tell you, defendant is a WINNER), the bailiff looked at him, narrowed his eyes, and said "Oh yeah....I remember you now."

I NEED POPCORN. 

Can't wait til next week. I'm past the want-to-vomit stage and have moved into the realm of Jerry Springer court in which I have settled into the whatever-the fuck-craziness-is-going-to-pop-up-is-gonna-happen-and-I-might-as-well-enjoy-it stage. CHEERS.

Potential Solo Practitioner?

The past few days I've been thinking more and more about opening my own firm. I've been hesitant to do it until now for several reasons, including (a) my lack of resources (opening a firm takes money, yo), (b) my lack of experience, (c) my lack of connections, and (d) the yellow belly I kept hidden under my shirt. However, I just had the pleasure of counting up how many jobs I've been rejected for in the past year, and I came up with around 250.

I also read a recent article one of my friends posted on Facebook in which it discussed how going jobless for one year has more than an impact of making you hate your life broke for an entire year--it actually decreases your life's overall expected earning potential.

Let's just speed up the process a little.

I don't speak often about my earlier years, but here's some knowledge for ya: my mom owned her own business for the first thirteen years of my life. She rented movies and made pizza, and I saw the daily struggles associated with owning one's own business. A lot of times she was in the red, our store got broken into once and the idiot bled EVERYWHERE (he broke a window, then rather than opening it, CLIMBED THROUGH IT AND SCRATCHED HIMSELF TO HELL). I saw it when the supply truck didn't come when he was supposed to. And I saw her have to deal with difficult customers. I also saw the perks--she was able to have the school bus drop us off each day, she could close early if there was inclement weather or if my brother or I were puking our guts out, and she was head bitch in charge.

M, head bitch in charge (and my hero)

As for me, I've been waiting and hoping and praying to God I could get a job. But that's normally not the kind of person I am. I like to make my own opportunities, and I don't do well taking a backseat waiting for things to happen. And, quite frankly, I've reached the point where I'm tired of waiting.

So I guess what I'm saying is that my cowardice has finally been trumped by my impatience and sense of being fed up with the state of my professional life. As such, I've started researching what I'm going to need to start my own law firm. After looking a lot of stuff up, I feel reasonably confident that I can start a law firm with about a $2000-$3000 shoestring budget (and that will cover a downpayment for malpractice insurance as well). I want to aim at opening at the beginning of next year, and I've picked a small town next to a big city in which to operate, both to limit competition and to lower costs of operation. This means I'll have to move there in October-November, then focus on learning the community and networking my ass off.

But honestly? I'm kinda excited. JURIS IS BACK IN ACTION, BABY.

Prepared for the best. And by best, I mean worst. 

Any tips or suggestions? Or comments? 

Job Market...an update and some admissions

Let's be real. I'm not an eternal optimist per se, but I DO believe in doors opening and opportunities presenting themselves and all that Pollyanna bullshit. I believe in positive thinking, and I'm dogged in my approach in that if I'm kicked, I return for more. It's very difficult for me to accept defeat, although I'm very much so used to it and am not normally used to having things handed to me on a highly-polished silver platter.

There has been a marked shift in my thinking since I've graduated from law school and passed the bar. I attribute this to the fact that I've been facing the realities of the legal job market for nearly a year, and still feel as if no new job opportunities are on my horizon. Although I don't think I have to explain jack-shit about my résumé, for the sake of allowing you some insight to my situation: I was solidly in the middle of my graduating class. My family are NOT lawyers, and I attended law school in a state other than I grew up in. I also took and passed the bar in that same state. I completed two separate internships with highly respected judges, one of which was for our state's Supreme Court. I participated in three separate legal clinics, was on two traveling teams, donated over 300 hours of pro bono time to the indigent while in law school, and took a wide variety of classes. I liked the rigors of law school, particularly the types of rigors associated with the practice of law.

So yeah, while my grades were mediocre, I've got plenty on my résumé and feel confident in my achievements. Which is why my continued state of unemployment is such a bitter pill to swallow. (Plus the fact that there are people who weren't even in the middle of the class who are employed and have been since graduation.)

So let me hit you with some truth, if you haven't realized it yet: the legal job market SUCKS. I recently interviewed for a job for a legal secretary position in which 25 applications were received and THREE of them were from current lawyers. This was for a $26,000 position, mind you, out in the middle of Bumfuck Egypt. I'll let that sink in for a moment. 

And when I read blog posts from people still in law school telling people who've already taken the bar and are seeking employment that they should talk to their career services department at their school, I just want to laugh. Hysterically. While slightly weeping. While I never endeavored to tell people how they should be searching for jobs when I didn't know of them or their situation, I used to be as positive (I'll refrain from calling it naive or blind). But the reality is that career services can't create jobs. And if your department is telling you of that job, it means at least twenty of your colleagues are also going to competing against you for that position. 

I've also had someone ask me what was wrong with my applications when I told her I was still looking for a job. She's lucky to still be breathing, as I would have rather snapped her neck than listen to her speak another syllable. People don't get it. Even people within the profession or who are actively involved in those who are in the profession. 

And even when I have an interview and do reaallly well and feel realllly good about it, they normally never call me back. It's like dating from hell. I send each of my cover letters and résumés out with a little prayer (or whatever one calls it). I'm still hopeful, but cautiously so. Because this much rejection hurts. Although not nearly as bad as the ignorance that abounds regarding what I'm doing wrong with respect to my job hunting. 

It's okay Thursday....

It's okay....

To have tons of friends you've never met but feel like you've known forever via Twitter (and to love them bunnnnches). 

To be ridiculously excited to go watch Lord of the Rings and talk girl talk with an awesome lady I know in real life.....

That I'm blogging rather than hitting the road for an interview I have tomorrow....

To have a big, sequined, purple shower cap that I use on the reg, even though it makes me look like Miss Muffett and even though I work out every day....

That I use dry shampoo EVERY SINGLE DAY, regardless of when I washed my hair....

That bar exam studies make me want to kick a small woodland creature....

That my 11 year old brother and I spent two hours preparing/cooking a quiche that he wouldn't touch because of the texture....

That I had no such qualms...

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

To be unsure of whether anyone can last because Ice-T and Coco are having marital problems..

THAT'S RIGHT TYRA. YOU TELL THEM.

Confessions that no one should be surprised about....

I'm about to drop a little bit of truth on you.....

I dress like a 90 year old woman.

No, really. On my first date with my boyfriend of three years, he made a quip about me suffocating him with my "Bill Cosby sweater." (And here I was thinking I looked snazzy.) When I was a kid, I used to circle turtlenecks and those shirts made out of the long underwear material in the JC Penny catalog. And then I wore them every day. One Christmas, I distinctly remember begging my mother for weeks for a pair of penny loafers.

(I'm going to let that soak in for a minute.)

In high school, I wasn't much better. I shopped at Goodwill. I chose things that made me laugh, and made others laugh. I didn't give a flying flip about what others thought. (And still don't, honestly, which isn't always necessarily a good thing.) I opted for outfits that were outlandish. Garish. And I still loved turtlenecks.

Nowadays, I resemble a librarian. The unsexy kind. I live in cableknit sweaters. Hugemongeous cardigans. Sweater-set cardigans. I layer them over camis. And over turtlenecks (obviously).

I love fashion. I really do. I like trendy clothes, and cool makeup, and funky styles. I follow fashion bloggers and drool over their outfits. I participated in pageants and have the 29 LBDs and 50+ other cocktail dresses to prove it. I wore false eyelashes. Rocked the five inch pumps. Know how to dress for every occasion. (And I'm honestly not making that up.) I own no less than 13 Antonio Melani Suits. But when it comes to picking up an outfit for my day-to-day non-career wear? I'm cheap. I hate spending money. And I hate cheap clothing. Which is a catch-22. You can't hate them both.

Which means I'll probably die wearing the same cardigan I almost suffocated my boyfriend with on our first date.

But at least I'll die warm.

This whole apartment thing ain't working out anymore....(Or: I'm too old for this shit)

I go to bed around 1:00 (adjusted time) last night, savoring the extra hour to myself.

Then, around 4:30, I'm awakened by a woman's moans. I'm disoriented, worried, and blind (I've got 20/600 vision). I also hear "no."

I jump to my feet, grab around for my glasses. Can't find them. I rush to turn on the light. I'm pissed my gun is in the other room, not that I'd be able to shoot anyone if a woman were being assaulted outside of my window, since I can't see one foot in front of me.

Then I realize it's either (a) my neighbors having sex, with her being extremely vocal or (b) my neighbors blasting porn.*

As that awareness washes over me, my heart settles from about 220 beats per minute to a (still high) 150 beats per minute. And my worry turns to fury. I turn to the wall and beat on it three times, vowing to myself to call the authorities and report a domestic disturbance if it didn't cease (it WAS a domestic disturbance...they were disturbing me).

Ms. Oooh-Yes-Oooh-No shuts the fuck up.

But it takes me about twenty minutes to get rid of that adrenaline and settle back to sleep.

Undergrads. Can't live next to them. Can't shoot them with my 9.

*I'm guessing porn, due to her sounding JUST LIKE a fucking porn star. And owing to the fact that as soon as I banged on the wall, all noises stopped. Headphones? 

Best ad placement EVER

So today I was reading commentary on Chic-Fil-A. And then someone on facebook posted a link. I arrived to observe the best ad placement I have probably ever seen...ever. Behold the glory....

What I see v. what I imagine

Armadillos from Texas play rap, eating tacos.

If you have watched the Barbri contracts lecture, son, you know what the hell I mean.

(You're welcome.)

Barbri Amp: What it says v. what it means

Yes, Barbri is still struggling to get its shit together with regards to Barbri AMP, much to the chagrin of the people who paid shittons of money for its proven track record of "experience" and "success." Whatev.

The Eager Beaver

It is my fondest wish that people who do this:

A. Go color blind
B. Fall off a cliff
C. Break both hands in a tragic chainsaw competition accident
D. Flunk their patent law test
E. All of the above

See how I highlighted JUST ONE THING? Because everything highlighted=nothing highlighted.

Moron.

Wooo pig sue me

I've created a picture which I think adequately sums up my feelings about Bobby P. and the things he's done, but in case it doesn't make it clear, here are a few thoughts I've had surrounding this incident:

1) 20 THOUSAND DOLLARS? Fucking seriously?

2) Bobby Petrino (who almost certainly has a wrinkled ass)???? DOUBLE FUCKING SERIOUSLY????

3) People whining about Bobby Petrino need to consider the enormous legal problems he may have created for our university.

4) Football programs do not grow because of one person. It is a collaborative effort, and Bobby was not God of Football (see: Battle of the Boot, 2011).

5) DAMMIT, BOBBY!

Moral of the story? No good deed goes unpunished.

I did it. I volunteered and was subsequently elected to run a law school event (hereby coined "LSE"). Said event was to raise money for a good cause, something I constantly thought about as I was organizing said LSE.

Now, for those of you who are not yet familiar with my style, I'm an A personality. I like to meet people. I like to talk to people. I like to be in charge. I also don't mind helping out or delegating, provided things are run in a cohesive manner that doesn't result in my wanting to rip someone's my hair out. For the most part, if something isn't being done properly (or at all), I'd rather just do it myself. It's my nature, and while annoying, it's highly effective (because let's face it--law students aren't exactly the most dependable of people). That being said, if someone is doing their job, then I'm of the mindset to HAVE AT IT.

So....this LSE is technically the pet project of one of the organizations on campus and consists of having to rely upon a shitton of people actually showing up at this event to volunteer. That's strike one, in my opinion. Depending on a group of lawyers and law students to be somewhere to dedicate their time to an altruistic task? UNHEARD OF.

Strike two was the fact that I was working with someone I believe to be Cray-Cray to the Maximus (and by maximus, I mean in my gluteous maximus). My opinion? This crazy coot is out to get me. Fucking great. (And I'm not imagining this shit--we go way back.) Worst part? She acts like she doesn't hate my guts.

So I bust my ass for three weeks, all the while having to deal with backbiting and assholery and general indignities that many would argue are grounds for justifiable homicide. And I take it, because BY GOD, I AM GOING TO DO GOOD FOR CHARITY. I get liquor (since we know that's the main draw). I organize everything. I decorate. I bedazzle.

In short, I rock this goddamn event with every fucking fiber of my fabulous glitter-emoting body.

It was a success, although the event didn't raise nearly as much money as I would have liked (let's just say this--with the hours I put in, I'd have liked a feast thrown in my honor, with a roast beast).

So, where is strike three, you are wondering? Well, friends, that came after the event. When CrayCray scheduled a meeting to discuss the event. The event SHE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING ATTEND. In all actuality, it was a "Let's Shit on Dr. Juris" meeting. And SHIT THEY DID. Comments like "undermining authority" (when I was in charge, mind you) and "poor time management" (when everything was accomplished and rocked out with its proverbial....well, you know what I mean) were thrown around with great relish. At the end of said meeting, I was told I would have to hand over all my notes and intellectual property associated with the event for next year's planning.

I am waiting for the perfect moment to crush these audacious demands didn't have the heart to tell them I had deleted it all with a thank you Lerd and good riddance.

No really, my heart is three sizes too small.....and I'm pretty sure it's not going to experience a miraculous growth spurt any time soon.

Probably the best email I had with regard to this event was a professor who was helping out: I'll stick to what they gave me and frequently remind myself that it's for a good cause. To which I replied:

That's what I've been doing for the past two weeks. 

Aspirin between the knees....

I've previously discussed my beliefs in my other blawgs, and have drawn a pretty hard line in the sand regarding some of them. I'm a moderate who believes in the shades of grey a great deal more than a distinct black or white. That being said, I try really hard to see both sides of an issue. Case in point: the recent war regarding birth control. I got angry at the Democrats for offering only one person to speak at the religious debacle debate in front of Congress a few weeks ago. I thought one person was ridiculous, although I understand that Republicans can be assholes and may have only allowed them one person to speak--but wouldn't it have been the smart decision to bring back-ups just in case???

At any rate, the testimony they offered (which was subsequently declined by the assholes previously mentioned) was that of Sandra Fluke. She had a lot of stuff to say. None of that testimony talked about how much she loved sex (although most people do--it's kinda fun, amIright?). In fact, she declined to talk about her experiences with contraceptives. She instead focused on the stories of women who were unable to afford their contraceptives and suffered terrible consequences as a result. Stories of a woman whose polycystic ovarian syndrome got so bad (due to lack of hormonal treatment) that she grew a tennis-ball-sized cyst on her ovary and had to have the entire ovary removed. Stories of a woman who was married and couldn't afford her birth control. Stories of women who were struggling with hormonal issues and unable to secure the treatment they needed due to the fact that their medicine is also considered birth control. STORIES OF MILLIONS OF WOMEN THROUGHOUT THIS NATION.

Enter Rush Limbaugh. 

I can go ahead and tell you that I'm not the biggest Rush fan. I find him hypocritical, obnoxious, and pretty stupid. He didn't disappoint this time either. Not only did he call Ms. Fluke a slut, among other things, he also told her she prostituted herself since the government was essentially paying her to have sex. He then told her the least she could do was post videos online of herself having sex, since she had been paid to do this.

Now, I'm all for first amendment rights. That being said, I fail to see how ANYONE could defend these stupid, ridiculous, fantastical comparisons, particularly women. Enter Angela Moribito. A self-proclaimed right-winger and "100 pounds of fury," Angela not only agreed with Rush Limbaugh (something she later claimed not to have done), but she also let-er-rip with this lovely little pearl of wisdom: that Sandra Fluke will always be remembered as "a Welfare Condom Queen [sic]." Apparently, Angela thinks Ms. Fluke has chained herself to the "sinking ship of Pelosi Liberalism," while seemingly--and most ironically--not realizing she herself was chaining herself to the Titanic that was inevitably Rush Limbaugh. 

I get it--some people equate condoms/birth control with slutiness. What I fail to understand is how they've equated THIS TESTIMONY with slutiness. One thing I know for certain: the world would be a much better place with a little more sluttiness and a whole lot less judgmental assholes throwing gender-bombs at people. 

Ta-ta for now. It's time to go take my birth control. 

Lucy in the Sky with Cubic Zirconium

This week was pretty much the week from Hell. I had a shitton of stuff I had to make happen, including a few interviews for externships next semester, a presentation for one of my classes, and a gazillion client interviews that somehow had to take place. But somehow I got through it and it's now Friday and I'm sitting in my house clutching two bags of Goodwill purchases and rocking myself like a baby preparing to make dinner like a big kid. (Okay, I did go to Goodwill.)

The most interesting thing to take place this week was probably one of the interviews for a judicial externship. I went in and introduced myself and the judge (who I have NEVER EVER MET BEFORE) said it was nice to see me again, effectively shaming me into a pool of self-doubt about whether we had, in fact, ever actually been introduced before. I maintain we hadn't. But I digress. After our standard repartee regarding why I want the externship and my studies (which I kinda like, because I always seem to have a new answer), we started to meander into other topics.

Like how she once represented a woman in a divorce proceeding who always smelled kinda funny and she never knew what the scent was. Until the lady was arrested for meth. (Oops for requesting child custody.)

Or how I had done an internship this summer and was scared shitless about the job and how much I anticipated hating it (I may have substituted in crap instead) and how I actually ended up loving it. (Maybe that's kinda relevant.)

Or how it's impossible for someone to overdose on LSD, and how the judge had always kinda wanted to try it, but figured she would have a flashback twenty years down the road in court and so she never did.

And how LSD is now being advocated for people suffering severe depression and it supposedly actually works.

And how anytime I smell pot, I want to barf all over the place and how I hate getting on the bus because I never know if the bus will smell like Reefer Joe over in the corner who just got done toking it up right before he boarded.

Oh, and how I saw pot the first time when I was in college and how I had a minor freakout.

And how she knew kids that smoked pot all the time in law school and once they pulled it out in front of her and she also had a minor freakout.

We then agreed that legalizing drugs wasn't necessarily a problem, since the people who are going to try heroin are going to do it regardless of whether it's legal or not, and we just don't want to have to deal with people doing it in public.

Yes, people, I spent approximately 25.3465 minutes of a 30 minute interview discussing drugs...with a circuit judge.

She offered me the externship the next morning. And naturally I accepted.

I'm pretty sure this cover letter covers it all......

Click on it to make it bigger. Happy Hump Day.

--Dr. J

Closing arguments--don't try this in court.....

Participated in a closing argument contest recently. Of course, I won nothing....unless you include fodder for future blogs and a future nod in the Karma department to be winning. Considering the level of losing I've been achieving lately, I'm losing faith in the usually-comforting Karma (aka: since I keep losing, surely I'll eventually win at something....right? RIGHT?!?!?!?)

So, in order to supplement your advice on how to lose in a trial competition, let me tell you some of the things that apparently win closing arguments: (and I only wish I were kidding)

1) Do not introduce yourself to the court. EVER. It will then be your fault that they are unsure of the name they should engrave on your winning trophy.

2) Don't ever please the court. Forget tradition. Screw respect. LISTEN TO ME, DAMMIT. I DON'T NEED YOUR PLEASES! If you must do this, I recommend the line "Would it please the court to kiss my ass." 

3) Do not ask that they return a specific verdict. Particularly if you're asking for a verdict of not guilty. You DEFINITELY don't want to ask that your client be freed from prison due to his innocence. Surely not.

4) Sarcasm=winning. The judges LOVE sarcasm. They lap that shit up. I'd even suggest a little Bon Qui Qui head snap and finger jerk to show them some real attitude. 

5) Offending the jury? THAT'S A-OKAY! Especially with regard to money: "The prosecution will assert the defendant killed the victim over a measly two thousand dollars." (I'd slit your throat for a candy bar, but that's neither here nor there.) If you could also possibly throw in a racial epithet somewhere, I'm sure they'd award you a couple of bonus points.

6) Fake some sort of illness or disability. I recommend wearing your arm in a sling. Or perhaps a jaunty eyepatch. 

7) If you are a girl, WEAR YOUR HAIR IN YOUR FACE. Ever so often, play with it. If you are a guy with long hair, I also recommend this. 

8) Lie about your level of learning! (No this did not happen, but I fully advocate telling them you are a 2L rather than 3L, since they are sure to view the aforementioned advice and mistakes as a charming indication of your lack of legal finesse and score you higher because of it.)

Happy Monday, everyone.

Occupy Reality

The law school scam bloggers have discovered new territory when it comes to making their voices heard: OCCUPY _________. I've got an idea for them: how about they occupy Common Sense Land?

I generally tend try my damnedest to not pipe in on people's Facebook statuses railing against "the man." I've even (shockingly) agreed with the Rolling Stone's ideas regarding a list of goals OWS might adopt (which are actually pretty good; y'all should head on over and read if you have the time or inclination).

But when people call me a law school shill, it tends to piss me off.

Particularly when the person railing against law schools fabricating employment rates and job opportunities has neglected to read the fine print.

And when he should have been on notice that the fact that he had SIX DUI's would almost certainly impact his ability to even be admitted into the practice of law (at least three of which were obtained while in good ole law school--one of which was on a moped).

But I digress.

I, personally, would love to not have any type of student loan debt. However, I have no loans from undergrad. I made a choice to attend a public university with lesser tuition. I also applied for a gazillion scholarships. And then I pursued a degree in a science-related field. When I was sick of my mom hammering me about borrowing money for "fun stuff," I got a damn job. And I waited tables and learned how to budget my money accordingly.

No, I don't think our country has it together. But I also don't see what good is served by taking over a month off of work (if you have a job; if not, taking a month off from looking for work) to rail against Wall Street, when it seems your beef is with the federal government. And the pink hair? It sure as hell ain't helping your cause.

To this day, I'm still not quite sure what the OWS movement is attempting to accomplish. I'm pretty sure they don't know either.

But I do know that when I graduate from law school, even if I'm only making 30K a year, I'll pay those loans I took out. Because that's what you do when you borrow money. They didn't GIVE IT TO ME.

It's called a loan for a reason.

Poor Decision-Making Lawyers of Tomorrow (PDMLT)

My very first day in my Legal Writing class, my classmates and I were expected to stand up and tell everyone else our name, where we were from, our undergrad degree choice, and why we chose law school. Below are a list of reasons people gave...(and my reasons for shooting many of these rationales down)

1) "I want to help people"--while this is certainly a worthwhile endeavor, many burn out before they even truly get started. If you want to help people, you need to reassess this job, because the law isn't fair, and sometimes it isn't even just. Bleeding hearts? They break.

2) "I want to make money'--HA. If you do, somehow, make 120K a year, I hope you like NOT having a life. And doing menial work. And generally not having time to enjoy the money you've made. Of course, considering how difficult it is to even obtain a job, the amount of money ain't exactly enticing.

3) "My parents are both lawyers"--Maybe you'll at least have a job after law school. You'll also be practicing in their shadows for the rest of your life. Or have to listen to them talk about how you messed something up.

4) "I like to argue"--So does my mom. That doesn't mean she's schlepping off to law school every single day. This is probably the stupidest reason EVER to go to law school. You want to force others to put up with your bad habits because you believe it's necessary to the practice of law? Ever heard the phrase you catch more flies with honey? Well, I'm not in the business of catching flies, but if I were, I wouldn't be doing it by screaming at them.

5) "I've wanted to do this since I was 5 years old"--I wanted to be a unicorn when I was five years old. What do five year olds know, anyway?

6) "I didn't want to have to look for a job in this shitty economy"--legitimate enough, but have you read about the job opportunities that await us after law school? They're not looking so hot. And now you have an extra 70K of law school debt riding on your shoulders. 

7) "I can't do anything with a degree in Women's Studies"--again, true, but why the hell didn't you think of this BEFORE you finished undergrad? I've also found that people going to law school because their undergrad degree sucks are generally not that interested in the practice of law.

And my favorite one (and probably the most legitimate reason for one of my incredible peer's decision to enroll)?

8) "Have you ever seen My Cousin Vinny?"

And so it begins...

My classes have started piling up. I'm in far too many organizations. And I've signed up for entirely too many competitions.

I have approximately eight clients in my legal clinics. Of these, the ones I want to call do not and the ones I do not want to talk to do....over and over again.

Additionally, I have a job interview coming up in a place I'd really, REALLY like to work (note I said in a place, not a firm). Cover letter is due by noon today.

But on the up side, it's a lovely 51 degrees outside this morning, I got eight full hours of sleep last night, and I'm relatively good-looking.

Maybe I should repeat that in the mirror this morning three times.

Or maybe I should start my day off right....with a shot of tequila.

Happy Thursday, y'all.