My mother, the witness

Been doing shittons of research and lawyering in the past week and a half, including filing craptons of stuff in the one case I'm working. I love research and I love preparing and figuring out details to be discussed in hearings, but let's be real: the Rules of Civil Procedure, service requirements, and deadlines (or, in reality, the fact that I might fuck them up entirely) terrify me, y'all.

That's why it was nice reading my mother's deposition for a case in which she's currently a party--it made me feel a little more competent as an attorney. Two particular gems from the depo, which involve litigation arising from her being hit from behind while at a stop light:

(Q) When was the first time you saw this truck?
(A) When it hit me.

And let's not forget this one, which tickled my funny bone and for which my mother didn't even offer up an answer, although I can imagine VERY CLEARLY the expression on her face:

(Q) When is the first time you became aware of this accident?

Wait, WHAT?

I get it from somewhere. Clearly. 

Patent Bar--too lazy to ask?

As a mini-rant--I've applied to sit for the patent bar examination, as my imminent employment opportunities don't look so rosy. I've been out of school for nearly a year with no nibbles at my employment hook, and I'm starting to get even more irritated regarding my unemployed status (but that's okay, because I apparently take lots of bar examinations as a consolation, which should indicate my level of sanity).

A week and a half ago, I sent in my package for the patent bar. Let me be clear: the patent bar is both the easiest application process and the most ridiculous application process I've seen for a bar examination. I don't have to give ANY employment history. I don't have to give ANY of the places I've lived in the past. References? WHO NEEDS EM? However, they do want to know about EVERY.SINGLE.ticket you've ever received, as well as *why* you qualify to take their special exam.

I spent ages getting my classes together, highlighting them, printing out course descriptions, showing the grades I received on my transcript, etc. I also had to go to four different jurisdictions in two separate states to get the five (speeding) tickets I've received in my lifetime. I sent in those proofs of payment, thinking they would be enough to demonstrate all that is taken care of.

Does this LOOK like I'm kidding? Also, no comments on my "C's". They count, lol.

Flash forward to today: I receive a letter in the mail requesting additional information about these tickets. What jurisdiction did I receive them in? What did I receive them for? What was the disposition in the case? Never mind this was all in the proof of receipts I sent. NOOOOO, they want ME to explain them. So I did. I wrote allllll of that junk down, and I'm sending it in on Monday.

I guess the silver lining is that I know they received my junk (silly me--I forgot to send them a self-addressed envelope so they could confirm they received my package) AND I know that my classes are sufficient to qualify for the patent examination. :D

Now all I have to do is see whether they will let me in............and if I can pass.

Day 1 of TBE in review....

Today was the first (half) day of the Texas Bar Examination. All things considered, I think I did okay. MPT wasn't difficult, only missed a few Texas civ/criminal procedure/evidence questions, and I left 15 minutes early.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), leaving 15 minutes early meant I missed some Texas Bar Exam drama. Apparently one of the test-takers asked to go to the bathroom during the last 15 minutes of the test. This is a no-no (might as well call it that, considering we're being treated like children). No one gets up during the last 15 minutes. No one is allowed to leave. Don't ask me why; it's just how it is.

So this guy throws a hissy and WHIPS OUT HIS DICK AND PISSES IN A ZIPLOC BAG. Yeah, you read that right. He withdrew his penis from his pants and emptied his bladder in the Ziploc he brought his things in. Then he apparently gathered all his shit, tossed that Ziploc on the ground, and peaced out...all during the 15 minute lockdown.

Aside from the obvious lack of social skills that somehow made this guy presume that withdraw his willy in public is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, I think a bigger issue remains....someone has to pick up that bag of piss.

So yeah. All things considered, I wasn't that person. I'm going to deem this day as a win.

(My friend Zilly was a row in front of this guy and saw the piss, and describes it so much better than I. Check out her account of things, INCLUDING HOW SHE WAS ABLE TO SMELL IT, here.)