FINANCIAL DEPRESSION CONFESSION: Why My Money Woes Were The End of The World!

Have you (or someone you know) ever thought that your money or credit woes were the end of the world? I have.

 

Many of my private clients dealing with money or credit woes were also dealing with major depression as a result of their financial situation. Whether their challenging financial situation was due to a job loss, excessive debt, unexpected financial expense, or lack of money management skills and knowledge; the emotional stress caused significant mental and physical illnesses like high blood pressure, anxiety attacks, etc. 

I can absolutely relate. So, I am sharing my Financial Depression Confession of how my money woes made me feel like it was the end of the world and what I did to help myself get better. My hope is that my transparency with this experience will help someone get through their extremely sensitive and painful period of financial depression. 
  

IT WAS THE END OF THE WORLD!
  
I dealt with major depression. I didn’t want to get out of bed, wasn’t motivated to clean my house, didn’t want to talk or see anyone, and I cried … A LOT! I suffered from insomnia and exhaustion. I over ate and didn’t exercise, so of course I gained lots of weight, which killed my self-esteem. This vicious cycle made me feel like it was the end of the world! I even contemplated suicide, but honestly … I couldn’t even “financially” afford to kill myself. Wait! Before you judge … depression is a severe psychological illness and if not treated, it can cause the sanest person to consider or do insane things.

  
WHAT I DID: I got help! I went to clinical counselor to talk about my feelings. I know what you maybe thinking, but talking out some major emotional insecurities and feelings with a qualified third party helped me to deal with those emotions. It also gave me an unbiased support system. I was reminded that my emotions were normal, which helped me to realize that what I was going through was NOT the end of the world. By purging my private pain, I was able to free my mind to think more logically.

  
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!

  
I didn't believe that anyone would understand what I was going through. I’m Madam Money! How could anyone understand how or why I was dealing with Money Woes? I didn't think that anyone would understand, so I isolated myself. It was a very lonely place to not have anyone I could trust to share that I was dealing with my deepest and darkest fears of about money.
  
WHAT I DID: Once I realized that this "lie" I was telling myself was bred from my PRIDE. I was too proud to ask for help. So, I had to humble myself and ask my a core circle of family and friends for help. I established specific roles for each of them to help me. For example, I had friends that helped me and held me accountable for eating better and exercising, friends that made me get out of the house to avoid isolation, and a family member that helped me financially when I absolutely needed. Asking for help was the hardest thing for me to do, but it was the best thing I could have ever done. And guess what, they understood because they experienced what I was going through.

I WAS EMOTIONALLY PARALYZED

  
Emotionally and mentally, I was paralyzed. I just couldn't move past what I was going through. Yes, I prayed and did my best to trust that God would get me through it, but I just couldn't do what was necessary to allow God to move. “Faith without Works is dead!” I knew that Bible verse and said it to myself every day. But … I felt helpless and hopeless which kept me paralyzed.
  
WHAT I DID: I changed my MIND! I realized that the eyes may be the strongest muscles in the body, but the Mind (brain) is the hardest muscle to change. So, I worked at it everyday. I changed what I watched, read and listened to. I became extremely protective about what I allowed to enter my mind because Thoughts turn into Words, Words turn into more Thoughts and those Thoughts turn into Actions or Non-Actions. What we visualize will actualize (positive or negative) so I only allowed positive and actionable thoughts, through affirmations, songs, books, etc.

  
OPERATION: FINANCIAL SELF-SABOTAGE

  
I medicated my pain through spending money on eating out every day, drinking and shopping. Oh yes I did! Dealing with the pain was too painful. So I tried to numb the pain by doing the opposite of was I know to do. Knowing what to do and how to do it but doing the opposite is “self-sabotage.” I become my own worst enemy. I became my most challenging client.

WHAT I DID: I got help from another financial coach. Yup! Coaches need coaching too. Even though I didn’t need my coach to tell me what to do; I needed my coach to hold me accountable to do what I know I’m supposed to do. My coach guided me through the process as a support system to stop my financial hemorrhaging caused by my financial self-sabotage. 

  
SELF DOUBT DESTROYED ME!

Everything I did to try to improve my situation, just didn't work. The more my attempts failed the more I doubted myself and my ability to fix my situation. How do you destroy the most confident person in the world … DOUBT! Doubt is the direct result of Fear, which is “False Evidence Appearing Real.” Bottom line … I was afraid to fail and because my attempts weren't working, this failure made me doubt everything.

  
WHAT I DID: Believe it or not … I connected with others! By connecting and networking with other people and professionals, I had intellectually stimulating conversations. Those conversations helped me build new relationships and networks. Those new relationships and networks valued my connection because of my personality, expertise or passion. This built up my confidence. Not only that, I connected with people who experienced my challenges, or knew someone who could assist me with my some of my challenges. This built up my confidence and reduced my doubt. 

 I’m not saying that everything that I did to help me will help you. But I am saying that there is HOPE and HELP for anything that you may be going through. 
  
Whatever you are going through, even though it may feel like it … it is NOT the end of the world.  It is the beginning of a new opportunity to make you stronger than ever to improve your current financial situation. 

  
I look forward to being a resource to help you through my pain, passion and purpose.

Making Money Matters Manageable,

Tarra Jackson

Madam Money's Q & A: Will Rent Reference Help Mortgage Application

Have you (or someone you know) ever wondered if a reference letter from a landlord would help with showing payment history for a mortgage application? 

Great Question!  Here the answer ... 



Do you have a personal finance or credit questions?  

Ask me and get answers! 

Just email your question to Tarra@TarraJackson.com. 

Making Money Matters Manageable, 

Tarra Jackson

Madam Money's Q & A: Is Race Considered in the Credit Score?

Have you (or someone you know) ever wondered if a person's race for financial situation affects or is considered in the calculation of their Credit Score?

Great Question!  Here the answer ...

Do you have a personal finance or credit questions?  Ask me and get answers!

Just email your question to Tarra@TarraJackson.com.

Making Money Matters Manageable,

Tarra Jackson

Get It Together! 5 Steps to Organizing Your Financial Life

Let's talk about organization. In today's society,the importance of keeping things organized has diminished because it takes time and dedication to make it happen effectively. If you are willing to take the steps, however, you will find that getting your financial house in order isn't quite as bad as it sounds. 
  
Here are five steps to help you on your path to financial organization, and ultimately, freedom from debt. 

• Collect all necessary documentation in a single location. 
• Take a day off each quarter from work, known as a "personal finance day," to gather your account information and place it in organized files. Ideally, there will be files for banking information, credit cards, investments, mortgages, and insurance. 
• If you are not utilizing your bank's online resources, sign up for an account. Many banks provide an array of tools that can also aid in organizing expenses and income. 

  

• Create a written budget, and review it monthly. 
• Once you have gathered all your account information in a safe, central location, create an accurate budget that includes a savings trigger and properly notates your money needs. Adjust spending in key areas such as food and entertainment, and allocate those funds to debt elimination and savings. 
• At the beginning of each month, review your budget. Holidays and special events will give your budget a different look than in other months, and your spending plan should reflect those changes to give you the best idea of where your spending should be for that time.

  

• Set a schedule for paying bills. 
• When creating your monthly budget, write down specific dates to pay various bills. As a rule of thumb, it is best to pay bills in bulk on key days of the month. For example, if Sam & Diane's mortgage is due on the 1st, their phone bill on the 5th, and electric bill on the 7th, it would be ideal to pay all three bills on the 1st. This ensures these bills are satisfied, and eliminates any chance of incurring late fees from the creditor, or overdraft fees from their bank. 

• Write down all one-time expenses for the year
• One stumbling block many face when embarking on budgeting is the occurrence of one-time expenses that pop up throughout the year. These may include license plate renewals, professional dues, or insurance premiums. Divide these costs by 12, so that you can include them in your monthly budgets. By employing this method, you can save towards those costs as they come, rather than losing large amounts of your monthly income in one fell swoop. 

• Shred, shred, shred!!
• If possible, invest in a shredder. In the age of rampant identify theft, it is imperative that you take every available precaution to protect your personal information. Not only will shredding documents keep you safe from possible theft, it also frees your home of tons of unnecessary paper. 

By taking these steps, you are, in a way, deputizing yourself to free yourself from the prison of indebtedness. It all begins with a willingness to say, "Yes, I'll do it." We'll be here to help you along the way. 

With you on the journey, 

Daniel Sims

 
Daniel Sims is the newest member of the Madam Money team. He is the creator & host of Financial Rebirth Live!, a personal finance podcast on BlogTalkRadio.com, and managing partner of RDSF Consulting in Little Rock, Arkansas. We look forward to his insights in the coming months. 

5 Signs You're Ready for Financial Coaching

Have you (or someone you know) ever thought about hiring a Financial Coach to help you create and accomplish your financial goals? Check this out ... 

The sense of frustration has become epidemic with today's economy, challenges are becoming more prevalent with personal financial matters. Building financial stability and wealth can be a confusing and complex huge pill to swallow. So, where is a person supposed to find the time to become a financial expert and learn what is necessary to build the financial stability desired?
  

Are You Ready for ...

  

Hiring a financial coach provides a competitive advantage by leveraging the person's time with specialized financial expertise that cuts through the clutter, confusion and contradictory information by teaching them what is relevant - efficiently and with minimal hassle.
  
Here are 5 Signs that You may be Ready Financial Coaching.

1. You're tired of procrastinating and ready to start building wealth and living your dreams.
2. You want to develop your own personalized action plan for building financial security based on principles that are custom designed to fit your specific situation - not a cookie-cutter or generic plan.
3. You want an accountability partner to help you maintain focus on your financial goals.
4. You're just "not interested" with traditional financial planning where all they want to do is sell you investment products. Instead, you want straightforward advice without all the sales pitches.
5. You realize that "true wealth" is not just about more money ... you want to balance your life while working toward financial freedom so that you don't make the mistake of sacrificing your family, health, or a fulfilling life in pursuit of money.

So, if you're ready to start working with a financial coach, feel free to contact me at Prosperity Now Financial Management Services.

  

Financially True,

  

Tarra Jackson, Making Money Sexy!