Confessions that no one should be surprised about....

I'm about to drop a little bit of truth on you.....

I dress like a 90 year old woman.

No, really. On my first date with my boyfriend of three years, he made a quip about me suffocating him with my "Bill Cosby sweater." (And here I was thinking I looked snazzy.) When I was a kid, I used to circle turtlenecks and those shirts made out of the long underwear material in the JC Penny catalog. And then I wore them every day. One Christmas, I distinctly remember begging my mother for weeks for a pair of penny loafers.

(I'm going to let that soak in for a minute.)

In high school, I wasn't much better. I shopped at Goodwill. I chose things that made me laugh, and made others laugh. I didn't give a flying flip about what others thought. (And still don't, honestly, which isn't always necessarily a good thing.) I opted for outfits that were outlandish. Garish. And I still loved turtlenecks.

Nowadays, I resemble a librarian. The unsexy kind. I live in cableknit sweaters. Hugemongeous cardigans. Sweater-set cardigans. I layer them over camis. And over turtlenecks (obviously).

I love fashion. I really do. I like trendy clothes, and cool makeup, and funky styles. I follow fashion bloggers and drool over their outfits. I participated in pageants and have the 29 LBDs and 50+ other cocktail dresses to prove it. I wore false eyelashes. Rocked the five inch pumps. Know how to dress for every occasion. (And I'm honestly not making that up.) I own no less than 13 Antonio Melani Suits. But when it comes to picking up an outfit for my day-to-day non-career wear? I'm cheap. I hate spending money. And I hate cheap clothing. Which is a catch-22. You can't hate them both.

Which means I'll probably die wearing the same cardigan I almost suffocated my boyfriend with on our first date.

But at least I'll die warm.

Why I'm awesome, part 2

1) I'm strange. And by that, I mean I have a really quirky sense of humor, in the way that only theatre kids have. If you know a theatre kid, you know what I mean.

2) I shop at Goodwill and resale/consignment stores a good bit of the time, and at ebay just as much. (I've already went into my ebay addiction, but let's talk about Goodwill for a moment, why don't we?) I started shopping at Goodwill when I was about 15 years old and at the height of my theatre-kid awesomeness, and the "best" outfit I ever wore in high school consisted of leopard print stretch sleep pants with gold threads shooting through them and a man's gold lame' shirt from the 70s with HUGE shoulderpads. I didn't wear it because I thought I looked good. I wore it because it made people smile, or laugh, or point, and it was worth walking around looking like a disco ball for the awesome reactions. I've since retired this look at mostly stick to jeans and blouses, but I may be able to dig up a redacted picture of this outfit. Maybe. If I actually allowed myself to be photographed in it (I said I was weird, not retarded).

This one is almost as good....almost:

3) I hate (almost all) people, but love (almost all) animals. I have two dogs, but they are NOT my fucking babies. I refer to them as "my girls" and they are DOGS. (Don't get me started on people that carry dogs in purses.)

4) When I drink, it's shots. And I have a system for doing so that involves taking said shot, then sipping 8 ounces of water for 40 minutes before I take another shot. And I have never gotten blacked out drunk, or made questionable life decisions while doing this. My drink of choice? Tequila.

5) I didn't get cable until my 3L year, and that was because my boyfriend was tired of missing the games. I still hardly watch it, and mostly use it for background noise or to watch one or two shows I can't catch online.

As a side note: you know from past posts that I've been studying for the Bar, and am just now starting to emerge for air. I'll do another legal blog soon bemoaning my cruel summer's fate, etc. but for the moment, I just couldn't bring myself to write about the law when I am literally INUNDATED WITH IT at all times. Saturated. Soggy, if you will, from the law (and I mean in the nasty, fingers are pruny kind of way. Oh God, I'm going to have nightmares about that tonight...). 

Getting to know me, getting to know all about me....

I generally tend to talk a lot about law school, and now that I'm done, about bar prep. I rarely talk about myself in a strictly personal sense, because I like to pretend that I'm operating under the shield of anonymity. What the hell, though? This is my blog and if you don't like this particular entry, you can content yourself with the law-related blog that's sure to follow.

There are relatively few things I can't live without. Here are a few of the things that make my "have to have" list.

1) Sleep--obviously, we'll all die if we don't sleep. However, if I do not sleep, I have the added benefit of being a raging bitch. I need at least 8 hours per night, and I tend to get in bed early rather than sleep in.

2) Citizen jeans (specifically, the Dita style)--this past Christmas, my awesometastic boyfriend invested in a pair of ridiculously overpriced jeans for my wardrobe. He somehow hit the amazing-jeans lottery, because these ARE.IT. I'm really short (5'2) so the inseam (31") works awesomely with a pair of heels, and the rise in front and back are high enough to cover asscrack without looking like mom jeans. The Oxford wash is as buttery as velvet. They feel like money. And I've bought 3 pairs since (off ebay, of course). Which brings me to my next obsession:

3) Ebay. I love ebay. I love deals (but hate couponing), so this is my site of choice. I'm constantly trolling, and wish I had MOAR MONIES so I could buy ALL THE THINGS. Normally I'm content to buy tiny things off of ebay, or things I would be purchasing anyway (so I might as well get a good deal on it, right?).

4) My support pillow. You know those hideously ugly pillows that offer you back support and have the arms? Ugly as sin? I couldn't bring myself to buy one for the longest time (both due to ugly factor and the fact that I didn't want to shell out $15, since I'm a huge cheapskate). Now, I'll never go without my ugly-as-shit pillow.

5) Intuition razor--like the support pillow, I hate shelling out the money for the cartridges. But they're worth it. And anything that ensures my legs aren't hairy and scaly is worth a few extra dollars (but seriously guys, why the hell are razors so effing expensive?!?!?!?!).

6) Candle warmers--these are cheap. And amazing. I can always have melted, amazing-smelling candles in my house. And I don't have to worry about burning down my house or setting my eyebrows on fire. (The latter has happened before, only it was a grill and IT'S A LONG STORY, SO GET OFF MY BACK.)

7) My Dinair airbrush makeup--spent lots of money on it. Worth it. Enables me to quickly apply my makeup, covers everything I need to cover, allows me to blend two or three colors to get the perfect match for my skintone, and doesn't break me out. Also, the makeup ends up lasting a lot longer than most foundations I've used.

There you have it...seven things that I consider to be personally awesome. You're welcome.