Texas Bar Examination...The Final Chapter

I sat down to write this post while the news was still fresh, but had technical problems that forced me to abandon the blog for a bit (aka: my computer hates how I treat it and went on strike). As such, you're going to have to get my stale recollection of Thursday instead.

To start at the beginning: Texas Bar Exam results were slated to be released on 5/3/2013, but everyone told me they like to release a day early around lunch time.

Let's just say that on Thursday, I woke up in a tizzy and didn't get much more tolerable as the minutes (slowly) ticked by. I opened the bar exam page around 9:00 and started refreshing every twenty minutes or so while trying to keep myself busy in the meantime. I pace when I'm nervous, and sound more wheezy than normal (which, for an asthmatic, that's saying something)....I tend to hover around "hyperventilating" when I'm anticipating something.

Pretty much....

Needless to say, my mother wasn't amused. I somehow managed to not freak out until about eleven thirty, at which time I started clicking a lot more frequently. And after 12:00 rolled around and I didn't have scores, it commenced at ten second intervals. By 12:30, I was frantic. But results were still not forthcoming.

By that time, my mom had had enough. She loaded me up in the car and we headed to the nearest Mexican restaurant, where I promptly knocked back two margaritas (on the rocks, with light rocks...a GENIUS idea that makes you look like a true alcoholic) and FORGOT all about the bar examination.

Get your VITAMEATABAREXAM here!!!!!

It wasn't until my ride home, where I was literally laid across the back seat of the car (at 2:30 in the afternoon, which technically sounds early, but actually means that I had been waiting for three hours by this point) that I got a text from a friend with the link to the results and the words "Uh, I don't know..." that it all came flooding back to me. With as much trepidation as I could manage in my inebriated condition, I scrolled down through the results and LANDED ON MY NAME. My mom thought I was having a seizure in the backseat. I'm not exaggerating when I say I started kicking the roof and rolling around like a Pentecostal preacher at a revival. (I'll let you savor that picture for a moment.) After that, I took one of the most fulfilling naps I've ever had in my life. No lie. Because that's how I roll.

I'm now certified in two states, but unemployed. But still....LICENSED. I'd like to thank everyone for their support and congratulations, for putting up with me, and especially my boyfriend for not only having the faith to fund me on this endeavor, but for also giving up tons of fun time with me (snort) so that I could study and prepare. I have to say, I'm pretty damn proud of myself too, because I studied for this on my own, and honestly didn't think I'd have either the stamina or the dedication to actually pass the damn thing. Guess I can even prove myself wrong sometimes.

Congrats to everyone who passed, good luck to anyone who is taking it again (because, let's not lie, the TBE FRIGGIN SUCKED AND ANYONE CAN FORESEEABLY FAIL IT), and most of all:

(What? Like you're really surprised I used this gif? As if....)

First day back to the grindstone....Or, my foray into patent bar studies

I've officially begun studying for the Patent Bar Exam....cue the twilight zone music.

It basically consists of me taking all of my stuff to the local university library (which has the most RIDICULOUS hours I've ever heard of...I mean, not open on Saturdays? REALLY?!?!). When I get there, I have to pop in a CD that goes over each phase of the Patent Bar--there are 36 CDs...and I effectively waited long enough that I'm going to have to supplement it with ADDITIONAL information regarding the newly introduced "first to file" legislation that isn't part of my study program. ::womp womp::

The good news is that I'm through 2 of the 36 CDs. The bad news is that means I have 34 CDs left. However, unlike having 50 gazillion pounds of Barbri books to cart around (like I'm used to), here I have several sleeves of CDs, three (very thin) booklets, and a 1 inch 3 ring binder. If nothing else, my back will be a lot happier with this bar studying attempt.

I have to admit that it feels good to be studying for something and to have another goal. AND I'll be told as soon as I'm finished with the Patent Bar Exam whether I passed or failed. None of this "wait two months and see!" hullabaloo (also, FYI, Texas posts results in 15 days....pardon me while I go throw up).

Screw you Texas, I've already got an award...er, bar license.

Cue the good news

No, I still haven't found a job (yet...). However, my mom called me with some good news. Apparently, while out of the state, the US Patent and Trademark Office sent me something in the mail. And my mother, being the nosy helpful person she is, read it and called me immediately.

I've been deemed qualified to sit for the patent bar exam!!!!!!!!!!! :D

::commence the celebration!!!::

Except....this means I have approximately 60 days to learn ALL THE LAWS. 

And considering how many laws there are and the failure rate, this ain't gonna be pretty.

But still...apparently four....or five (?) (I'm not going back to check) tickets won't keep you from sitting for the patent bar.

Good to know.

Bar Card #3: Giveafuck

I've discussed dontgiveafuck before. It's inspired my latest card. Good luck with the final push!

Bar Exam Cards....Second Card

As promised, here is card #2 for all of you studying for the bar (or even considering it, because it's truly preemptive). 

Cards in anticipation of the bar exam

As my fuse grows shorter the closer I get to the Bar Exam, I find myself having to excuse or apologize for my behavior more than I'm comfortable admitting. 

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like Hallmark makes cards that concern the bar exam. 

So I made my own.

This is Card #1. More to follow. May God have mercy on our souls. 

Texas Hunger Games....I mean, Bar Exam

As the days run out, all I can think about is how I'm surely approaching my doom. Which gives rise to some excellent quotes from The Hunger Games:

"Stupid people are dangerous." 

"Here's some advice: stay alive." 

"Aim higher, in case you fall short." 

At any rate, hope you enjoy my little piece of "sunshine," just in time for the Texas Hunger Games Bar Exam. 

"Tick, tock."

Sad, but true....

The problem with having a law license in one jurisdiction while taking the bar exam in another....

Oh? You don't think I'm smart enough to practice in your state?

Motivation....lacking. 

This is your brain, bar exam style...

I'm pretty sure this is self-explanatory. 

(Pray to the merciful 6 lb, 8 oz. baby lord Jesus for my everloving soul....)

Would YOU willingly vacay in BEL?

It's crunch time in BarExamLand, the magical place where unicorns and rainbows go to die. 

Incidentally, that's where my soul has also gone to die. 

But it could be worse...I could be taking the bar exam in Louisiana....which started THIS WEEK.

Thursday Morning Lameness

I've been studying Oil and Gas for the Texas Bar Exam. Since I didn't take this course in law school, and since I also wasn't tested on it on my previous bar, it's kinda new to me. Something that particular sticks with me is Texas's interpretation of the open mines doctrine. That lease better never expire, because then you're fucked, life tenant. 

Oh look, it's Ryan Gosling.

Happy Thursday (for what it's worth).

Random thoughts on a Wednesday

1) I need this dress. Like, WHY THE HECK IS THIS DRESS NOT IN MY CLOSET? If anyone wants to buy it for me and pay for the (almost assuredly) ridiculous dry cleaning bill to try to maintain ALL THE PLEATS, I shall divulge my size to you.

(No...but really....)

2) Interviewed for a job a couple of days ago. It wasn't so bad, except I had to go in at 6:45 IN THE EVENING and due to the length of the interview, my mother thought I had been abducted by a band of thieves that wanted to sell me into sexual slavery. As a result of this interview, I've been revamping my appellate brief I wrote back in 2L year (which means I've been working strictly on the standard of review, which is really difficult for questions of mixed fact and law...) to send in as a writing sample.

(I'm pretty sure the answer for my particular problem is de novo with deference, in case you were wondering.)

3) The previously-mentioned job interview made me realize how little I know about tax implications. So I spoke to my awesome friend (whose blog is located here) who is receiving her LLM in tax, and also went to speak to my friendly neighborhood CPA. If anyone here is wondering if they should speak to people who know things about taxes.....the answer is yes. You should. Because those people rock. (Also, if you're thinking of going solo, wouldn't it be nice for you to know things about taxes/deductions/best method of incorporation before you jump into something feet first?)

4) I'm working on filling out the last bit of information for my patent bar. This was difficult mostly due to the fact that I have to locate EVERY ticket I've ever been given that was more than $100. Which is every ticket I've ever been given. (I'm lucky I'm young. They apparently don't have a date to stop at, although I'm sure 90 year olds didn't pay more than $100 for tickets until more recently....)

5) I'm also working on completing the last bit of my paperwork for the Texas Bar. Because I'm a masochist. Only thing left (if I'm not mistaken) is getting my fingerprints. Which leads me to think that I am going to make a checklist for future Texas bar examinees. For how much you have to pay the great state of Texas for the "privilege" of taking their test, you'd think they could maintain a more user-friendly, organized website. Of course, I'm not surprised.

Ermahgerd...I passed

Yesterday, Arkansas released the names of those who passed the bar exam. 

I was at my little brother's music lesson with a monstrous stress headache. Then the fire alarm went off, which I thought was probably the worst thing that could have happened to my poor, fragile little head. 

Until I tried to load the Arkansas Judiciary website. It was so clogged up that it wouldn't load. And my dad started text-ticking off minutes:

4:02

4:05

4:08

And then I got a congratulatory text from one of my really good friends. Even then I couldn't believe it. 

But it's true. I passed the Arkansas Bar Exam. 

My views on the bar exam, as illustrated by Lord of the Rings

  

Love you, H-dawg.

Armadillos from Texas play rap, eating tacos.

If you have watched the Barbri contracts lecture, son, you know what the hell I mean.

(You're welcome.)

Trade Fixtures Exception (a ditty by moi)