Job Market...an update and some admissions

Let's be real. I'm not an eternal optimist per se, but I DO believe in doors opening and opportunities presenting themselves and all that Pollyanna bullshit. I believe in positive thinking, and I'm dogged in my approach in that if I'm kicked, I return for more. It's very difficult for me to accept defeat, although I'm very much so used to it and am not normally used to having things handed to me on a highly-polished silver platter.

There has been a marked shift in my thinking since I've graduated from law school and passed the bar. I attribute this to the fact that I've been facing the realities of the legal job market for nearly a year, and still feel as if no new job opportunities are on my horizon. Although I don't think I have to explain jack-shit about my résumé, for the sake of allowing you some insight to my situation: I was solidly in the middle of my graduating class. My family are NOT lawyers, and I attended law school in a state other than I grew up in. I also took and passed the bar in that same state. I completed two separate internships with highly respected judges, one of which was for our state's Supreme Court. I participated in three separate legal clinics, was on two traveling teams, donated over 300 hours of pro bono time to the indigent while in law school, and took a wide variety of classes. I liked the rigors of law school, particularly the types of rigors associated with the practice of law.

So yeah, while my grades were mediocre, I've got plenty on my résumé and feel confident in my achievements. Which is why my continued state of unemployment is such a bitter pill to swallow. (Plus the fact that there are people who weren't even in the middle of the class who are employed and have been since graduation.)

So let me hit you with some truth, if you haven't realized it yet: the legal job market SUCKS. I recently interviewed for a job for a legal secretary position in which 25 applications were received and THREE of them were from current lawyers. This was for a $26,000 position, mind you, out in the middle of Bumfuck Egypt. I'll let that sink in for a moment. 

And when I read blog posts from people still in law school telling people who've already taken the bar and are seeking employment that they should talk to their career services department at their school, I just want to laugh. Hysterically. While slightly weeping. While I never endeavored to tell people how they should be searching for jobs when I didn't know of them or their situation, I used to be as positive (I'll refrain from calling it naive or blind). But the reality is that career services can't create jobs. And if your department is telling you of that job, it means at least twenty of your colleagues are also going to competing against you for that position. 

I've also had someone ask me what was wrong with my applications when I told her I was still looking for a job. She's lucky to still be breathing, as I would have rather snapped her neck than listen to her speak another syllable. People don't get it. Even people within the profession or who are actively involved in those who are in the profession. 

And even when I have an interview and do reaallly well and feel realllly good about it, they normally never call me back. It's like dating from hell. I send each of my cover letters and résumés out with a little prayer (or whatever one calls it). I'm still hopeful, but cautiously so. Because this much rejection hurts. Although not nearly as bad as the ignorance that abounds regarding what I'm doing wrong with respect to my job hunting. 

Summary of the Texas Bar Exam and a comparison

When I came back home from the bar exam, I slept a total of 3 hours that night. And my mom told me the following morning that I was whimpering in my sleep...like a fucking puppy dog. 

This will be the second bar exam I've lived through, and I'll be the first to tell you that Texas was infinitely harder than my first exam--I think this is a combination of the fact that I had an actual Barbri class to attend while studying for Arkansas, as well as the fact that Texas-specific essays made me want to jump off a building (Arkansas only has 6 essays, and they're multistate, not specific). I also don't think that the fact that I already have a law license helped either--the pressure to pass is NOT the same and the fear of failure is somewhat lessened, because...well, you've already passed once. And I'm not sure about you, but I thrive on fear of failure. 

Texas was also a lot different in terms of security--they wouldn't even let you have WATER bottles in the room, and I felt constantly dehydrated as a result (because even though they offered you water, who the hell is REALLY going to leave the room just to get a sip of water? Absolutely stupid). Arkansas tested in a hotel; Texas set us up in an arena. We were allowed to have bookbags in our testing room in Arkansas. Texas required you to have your ID and exam ticket out at all times and got twitchy about just about everything. 

And then there is the exam itself. Although I somehow managed to control myself enough to refrain from pissing in a Ziploc bag (seriously, who the fuck does that?!?!?!?), I'm not going to pretend that the test was easy--I felt a lot better about July's MBE set, and the Texas-specific essays made me want to cry. I am thankful about the fact that they tell you what to expect on the exam, but some of the questions were distinctly different than most essays you can imagine or would expect--their oil and gas question wanted you to define terms, rather than analyze facts and reach a conclusion. 

I stayed in the Holiday Inn Express about a mile away, and I think that was a pretty solid decision on my part. It was clean, offered a bar discount, and had coffee available at all times. I wanted to kick some little kid ass for hogging workout equipment (bunch of people there for a friggin boxing tournament for children....who the hell willingly lets their kids beat the shit out of other kids and allows for their children to welcome punches to the face?!!?!.....but I digress) and the hot tub was cold, but the showers were hot, the bed was comfortable, and the location was secure. 

The first day I tested, it was only a half-day and I went straight back to my hotel. The second day I got to meet one of my twitter friends (Zillyyyyy) and she was super nice enough to drive my pitiful ass to the exam (one way streets freak me the fuck out, no lie) and even nicer to let me study in her car between the exams. The third day, I managed to leave and walk a half mile to get a friggin awesome grilled cheese sandwich. This was all good. I also got to meet another twitter friend (Amby) who was sooooo sweet and got me a delightfully awesome bar-taking gift that I lerrved and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

All in all, this post is a clusterfuck of information, misinformation, and unorganized ramblings. I'm still not feeling human yet, despite the fact that I had a few margaritas yesterday and went to bed at 6:30 and slept for 13 hours straight. The bar makes you a horrible fucking person, uses you for a few days, then sends you on your way feeling 30x worse for wear (ooh, if you could have seen some of the people taking the bar--they looked like transients who sought shelter in the arena from the cold). I'm glad I survived, but don't feel especially confident in my attempt to become a Texas lawyer. I'll probably write a post in a couple of days explaining all the things I should have done better (like, oh, I don't know, STUDIED AGENCY) and what I know now that I wished I had known then (like, oh, I don't know, ALL THE TEST QUESTIONS), lol. 

But for now, I'm going to sleep. And hopefully I've gotten past the whimpering stage. I think I'll move into bargaining next. 

Truthism by Tolkien

I've made it no secret that I love Lord of the Rings. And The Hobbit. And Gandalf....especially Gandalf.

Post-Bar Reflections

It's now been a week since I took the Arkansas Bar, and I figure it's about time for another blog entry. I figure it's easier to break it down in numbered lists, since I tend to think in a more linear fashion when doing so.

1) On Tuesday morning, I took the MPT. For those of you that don't know, this stands for "Multistate Performance Test," and it's essentially where the bar examiners give you a crap-ton of information and tell you to write a brief on it. Twice. 90 minutes per essay. The first one was great. It was about confrontation clause and evidentiary issues, and I had a blast. And I ultimately spent about 10 minutes too long on it. The second essay sucked. It was about nuisance (and let me tell you--I HATE TORTS!), and it didn't seem as if I could adequately match the facts I had with the eleventy billion elements required to make my argument. I didn't score too well on the second question, I'm afraid. But that's okay.

2) On Tuesday afternoon, I had the MEE to contend with. This stands for "Multistate Essay Examination" (I think, and if it doesn't, it should). I had six essays, and three hours total to figure it all out and write on it. Essay subjects were interesting, to say the least, and consisted of a TOTALLY lame LLC question that pretty much everyone hated, a wills question (which I loved--it wasn't too terribly bad), a domestic relations question in which grandparents wanted custody (good luck with that), a criminal law question about some dumbasses who spread marbles across a road (involuntary manslaughter? I think so), a secured transactions question that wasn't too terribly bad, and a civ pro question about a woman who hadn't reported sexual harassment in the workplace and whether a judge's decisions about the suit were appropriate.

3) Most people think the MEE is the shittiest portion. It definitely isn't fun beforehand, because you have a total of 12 testable subjects, and will only get 6 questions. Of those six questions, you may have mixed topics, topics that are VERRRRY minuscule in comparison to the rest of the information covered, or something that you may not have covered at all. You cannot bullshit your way through them like the MBE, because you don't have multiple choice answers upon which you can base your answer. In short, it's exhausting trying to prepare for it, and terrifying that you might have missed the areas of law that may be tested.

4) On Wednesday, I took the MBE (Multistate Bar Examination)--it's a 200 multiple choice exam divided up into two sessions. You have three hours to complete each of these sessions. Now, here's where my opinion differs from MANY other peoples' who took this exam: I didn't think it was that difficult. AND THAT SCARES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's always been the case that any time I walk out of an exam thinking it wasn't that bad....it was. I finished the morning exam with about 30 minutes remaining, and the afternoon portion with about 15 minutes remaining. This doesn't seem big, but plenty of people run out of time.

5) I think my surprise with MBE's questions arise from the fact that I considered BarBri's questions to be much more difficult/demoralizing. I felt like I was able to more easily identify the "tricks" certain bar questions were getting into, and I didn't think the questions were unfair, although I was SHOCKED by the number of questions that dealt with Secured Transactions (as this wasn't *technically* a testable MBE subject). Ultimately, I'm more afraid about the fact that I didn't leave this exam afraid.

I will find out my scores on my birthday, August 31. This is one of the shortest turnaround times in the country, for which I'm thankful. However, I'm afraid I'm going to have a very shitty 25th birthday, if for no other reason than because I have to wait until 4:00 to receive my results. If I fail, I'll retake the examination. It truthfully wasn't that bad--it was much worse because you don't know what to expect, rather than because of the subject matter. Studying is never any fun, particularly when it consumes your entire summer. However, it's necessary (and if done correctly, doesn't have to overwhelm your life, in my opinion). I hope everyone else had a reasonably okay testing experience, and I hope we all make it out as bona fide lawyers.

Anyone else have any thoughts on the bar exam?

Bar Exam Blues....

I leave for my hotel tomorrow. On Tuesday, I start the bar. I finish it on Wednesday. 

I rarely panic. Instead, my body chooses to exhibit stress in horrific ways. Like mouth ulcers. And stomach aches. And headaches. And other things that I have elected not to share with the blawg universe. 

Mentally, I am fine. I think it is because I am in a state of denial. I do not think I have studied enough, but I'm pretty sure no one ever does (and if they do, they're probably going to fail, because that's just moronic and they don't deserve to pass the bar if they're morons). When I sit for the test, I will be fine. 

My issues arise during the WAIT for my scores. I am "lucky" enough to find out my results on my birthday. Not at the beginning of the day, either. I receive the results at 4:00 in the afternoon. Anyone that knows me can tell you that I.HATE.WAITING. I love surprises, but not surprises like this. I like surprises like Christmas gifts. And good meals. And flowers. And edible arrangements. Even if I pass the bar and get positive results, there is no way that this can ever be considered a "happy surprise." What I guess I'm trying to say is my mental disturbance will almost certainly emerge during my waiting period. 

You have been warned.

In other news, I plan on watching the rest of my Agency/Parnership video tonight. I'll probably quickly review Wills/Trusts/Estates, and briefly glance at Corporations (because I'm pretty sure I've already disposed of that knowledge since watching it previously). Tonight I'll probably take a few MPQ questions and flip through my gorgeous laminated "templates." Tomorrow, I drive. And languish. And Tuesday, I sweat. 

To everyone else taking the bar, I have but one thing to say: 

Barbri, Day 2

Barbri Day #2 is over, although I do have some "homework" I apparently need to go over. Today was a lot worse than yesterday, namely because it went over Real Property and Contracts, and I very much so suck at both of those subjects....particularly Contracts.

Guy teaching the courses (same guy for both, both on a video) was funny. He reminded me of Louis Black. Without the cussing. Which may have made Contracts a whole lot more fun and memorable, but alas, I'll never know.

However, there are a whole lot of points I think I should make regarding today:

1) There were dramatically fewer people in my class today than yesterday, namely because they figured they could see the same videos from home. I cannot do that because (a) I have the attention span of a gna---oh, wow, look at that shiny object! and (b) I will never get around to watching all the video or take the video seriously when I could be doing a multitude of other, more worthy things (like sleeping, or eating, or sleep-eating).

2) Real Property sucks just as much now as it did 1L year, but Real Estate Transactions played a MUCH larger role in this section than anyone else let on it would. Ergo, I'm thankful I took the latter course, even though I shudder every time I hear the word mortgage.

3) Our class should really devise a system of shutting our books and letting the daily administrator know  when we are finished with our preview test, so we don't spend an extra 15 minutes Facebooking inside a classroom instead of getting out early and Facebooking from the privacy of our own homes.

4) I've GOT to start packing a lunch, because one of these days, I'm not going to be so lucky about snagging a parking spot when I leave and come back to school.

5) Okay, people. We get it. The dude just repeated himself four fucking times. I see how you might think that's funny. Personally, I think you should probably just write it down over and over again, so you might remember it for the Bar. Because, you know, if he's saying it seventeen times, IT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT.

In addition to these notes, I think it's fair to say that this course is pretty damn good. I'm learning a lot, and even though I emerge each day with a headache, I figure I'm getting my money's worth. I've also taken up bicycling again (8.5 miles today) to deal with the stress of studying, and also so I can look decent in a majorly fucking hot swimsuit I plan on wearing at the end of the summer.

Is anyone else taking Barbri? What do y'all think of it so far?

I'd like to rearrange...your face

Things that really bother me while taking final exams:

1) Deep sighing
2) Vibrating phones (turn those bitches OFF)
3) Loud typing--is it necessary to batter your computer?
4) People that leave 40 minutes into exam (and it's three hours long)
5) Going blank (this one's totally on me--fault completely my own)
6) Rustling food bags--open it, get it over with, and for the love of God, please don't smack
7) Tapping and other random bodily twitches
8) People that make a big deal about leaving the room or asking a teacher a question
9) People who are apparently too stupid to quietly pack up their shit to leave

10) AND YOU, MOTHERFUCKER, slurping your goddamn Route 44 drink, WHEN IT'S OBVIOUSLY FUCKING EMPTY. 

I hope you fail....

I hope your girlfriend breaks up with you....

I hope you're diagnosed with a condition that makes it impossible to drink from a fucking straw. 

Wooo pig sue me

I've created a picture which I think adequately sums up my feelings about Bobby P. and the things he's done, but in case it doesn't make it clear, here are a few thoughts I've had surrounding this incident:

1) 20 THOUSAND DOLLARS? Fucking seriously?

2) Bobby Petrino (who almost certainly has a wrinkled ass)???? DOUBLE FUCKING SERIOUSLY????

3) People whining about Bobby Petrino need to consider the enormous legal problems he may have created for our university.

4) Football programs do not grow because of one person. It is a collaborative effort, and Bobby was not God of Football (see: Battle of the Boot, 2011).

5) DAMMIT, BOBBY!

Moral of the story? No good deed goes unpunished.

I did it. I volunteered and was subsequently elected to run a law school event (hereby coined "LSE"). Said event was to raise money for a good cause, something I constantly thought about as I was organizing said LSE.

Now, for those of you who are not yet familiar with my style, I'm an A personality. I like to meet people. I like to talk to people. I like to be in charge. I also don't mind helping out or delegating, provided things are run in a cohesive manner that doesn't result in my wanting to rip someone's my hair out. For the most part, if something isn't being done properly (or at all), I'd rather just do it myself. It's my nature, and while annoying, it's highly effective (because let's face it--law students aren't exactly the most dependable of people). That being said, if someone is doing their job, then I'm of the mindset to HAVE AT IT.

So....this LSE is technically the pet project of one of the organizations on campus and consists of having to rely upon a shitton of people actually showing up at this event to volunteer. That's strike one, in my opinion. Depending on a group of lawyers and law students to be somewhere to dedicate their time to an altruistic task? UNHEARD OF.

Strike two was the fact that I was working with someone I believe to be Cray-Cray to the Maximus (and by maximus, I mean in my gluteous maximus). My opinion? This crazy coot is out to get me. Fucking great. (And I'm not imagining this shit--we go way back.) Worst part? She acts like she doesn't hate my guts.

So I bust my ass for three weeks, all the while having to deal with backbiting and assholery and general indignities that many would argue are grounds for justifiable homicide. And I take it, because BY GOD, I AM GOING TO DO GOOD FOR CHARITY. I get liquor (since we know that's the main draw). I organize everything. I decorate. I bedazzle.

In short, I rock this goddamn event with every fucking fiber of my fabulous glitter-emoting body.

It was a success, although the event didn't raise nearly as much money as I would have liked (let's just say this--with the hours I put in, I'd have liked a feast thrown in my honor, with a roast beast).

So, where is strike three, you are wondering? Well, friends, that came after the event. When CrayCray scheduled a meeting to discuss the event. The event SHE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING ATTEND. In all actuality, it was a "Let's Shit on Dr. Juris" meeting. And SHIT THEY DID. Comments like "undermining authority" (when I was in charge, mind you) and "poor time management" (when everything was accomplished and rocked out with its proverbial....well, you know what I mean) were thrown around with great relish. At the end of said meeting, I was told I would have to hand over all my notes and intellectual property associated with the event for next year's planning.

I am waiting for the perfect moment to crush these audacious demands didn't have the heart to tell them I had deleted it all with a thank you Lerd and good riddance.

No really, my heart is three sizes too small.....and I'm pretty sure it's not going to experience a miraculous growth spurt any time soon.

Probably the best email I had with regard to this event was a professor who was helping out: I'll stick to what they gave me and frequently remind myself that it's for a good cause. To which I replied:

That's what I've been doing for the past two weeks. 

Aspirin between the knees....

I've previously discussed my beliefs in my other blawgs, and have drawn a pretty hard line in the sand regarding some of them. I'm a moderate who believes in the shades of grey a great deal more than a distinct black or white. That being said, I try really hard to see both sides of an issue. Case in point: the recent war regarding birth control. I got angry at the Democrats for offering only one person to speak at the religious debacle debate in front of Congress a few weeks ago. I thought one person was ridiculous, although I understand that Republicans can be assholes and may have only allowed them one person to speak--but wouldn't it have been the smart decision to bring back-ups just in case???

At any rate, the testimony they offered (which was subsequently declined by the assholes previously mentioned) was that of Sandra Fluke. She had a lot of stuff to say. None of that testimony talked about how much she loved sex (although most people do--it's kinda fun, amIright?). In fact, she declined to talk about her experiences with contraceptives. She instead focused on the stories of women who were unable to afford their contraceptives and suffered terrible consequences as a result. Stories of a woman whose polycystic ovarian syndrome got so bad (due to lack of hormonal treatment) that she grew a tennis-ball-sized cyst on her ovary and had to have the entire ovary removed. Stories of a woman who was married and couldn't afford her birth control. Stories of women who were struggling with hormonal issues and unable to secure the treatment they needed due to the fact that their medicine is also considered birth control. STORIES OF MILLIONS OF WOMEN THROUGHOUT THIS NATION.

Enter Rush Limbaugh. 

I can go ahead and tell you that I'm not the biggest Rush fan. I find him hypocritical, obnoxious, and pretty stupid. He didn't disappoint this time either. Not only did he call Ms. Fluke a slut, among other things, he also told her she prostituted herself since the government was essentially paying her to have sex. He then told her the least she could do was post videos online of herself having sex, since she had been paid to do this.

Now, I'm all for first amendment rights. That being said, I fail to see how ANYONE could defend these stupid, ridiculous, fantastical comparisons, particularly women. Enter Angela Moribito. A self-proclaimed right-winger and "100 pounds of fury," Angela not only agreed with Rush Limbaugh (something she later claimed not to have done), but she also let-er-rip with this lovely little pearl of wisdom: that Sandra Fluke will always be remembered as "a Welfare Condom Queen [sic]." Apparently, Angela thinks Ms. Fluke has chained herself to the "sinking ship of Pelosi Liberalism," while seemingly--and most ironically--not realizing she herself was chaining herself to the Titanic that was inevitably Rush Limbaugh. 

I get it--some people equate condoms/birth control with slutiness. What I fail to understand is how they've equated THIS TESTIMONY with slutiness. One thing I know for certain: the world would be a much better place with a little more sluttiness and a whole lot less judgmental assholes throwing gender-bombs at people. 

Ta-ta for now. It's time to go take my birth control. 

Law school vacation...I mean, competition.

Went to law school competition this weekend. And by weekend, I mean Wednesday through today (Sunday). As I have class on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday only, this means I missed AN ENTIRE WEEK OF SCHOOL. Happily, I'm regaining about 12 hours of free time per week that I am no longer devoting to practicing for the competition, so I should be able to mitigate missing so much school.

So, highlights of my week include:

1) The two feet of snow that fell while visiting. Thank God I packed snowboots. And purchased sweater tights. And that I like snow.

2) Visiting the Molly Brown Museum. She did so much more than survive the Titanic. I seriously recommend visiting if you are ever in Denver. She's a remarkable woman and a monument to to the women's rights movement.

3) Arguing in a real courtroom. It was marble. With real wood. And I got to introduce blown up evidence (i.e. evidence that was enlarged, not set on fire). And make really sweet arguments. (ON THE GROUNDS THAT IT'S DEVASTATING TO MY CASE!!!)

4) $65 per diem. Enough said. NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM.

5) Losing all the competitions, but winning the mingling award and gleaning the best prize of the night: free drink tickets. My teammates loved me for this. (Although those huge gavels were pretty fucking sweet, too.)

6) A hotel room all to myself. Apparently my school is awesome. And understands the possibility of women killing each other if forced to room together. My room was baller. The view? Not so much.

Some of the not so awesome things that I experienced while on my "boondoggle" to Denver (you trial comp people know what the hell I mean by that):

1) Missing the opportunity to eat at Crepes & Crepes. DAMN YOU, SKEWED SENSE OF DIRECTION. DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL.

2) Missing my dog. I'd like to thank a VERY good friend of mine, Tigger (she'll get this reference), for watching my crazy Crackers. I'm eternally grateful, and glad to be home with my goofy dog.

3) Not having any type of schedule. Our itinerary was one of a bunch of half-drunk fratties on spring break: we had no fucking clue what was going on. My coach isn't big on communication. Didn't know my flight number. Or my hotel name. Or my flight time. Or when any of the competitions were. Or my middle name. You get the drift. Thus this blog was spawned by my freaked out (and obviously sarcastic) mother, Maxine.

I could go on and on, but I'm going to save it for tomorrow (or perhaps the next, after I've fully recovered from this trip) when I blog about the politics of law school competitions, and perhaps offer a few friendly pointers for those considering competing in such a program.

And maybe tell a funny story or two.

Maybe.

Day late and a dollar short...aka: 2011 in retrospect

I realize it has been 2012 for a FULL WEEK. That being said, I really don't give a fuck. I found this online and I liked it, and my blawgs can't always be about the legal community (otherwise I would probably shoot myself). It's a quiz about 2011 and, being that I like self-reflection ever so often, I figured I could do it and give everyone a little bit of insight regarding my previous year and aspirations for this one. Here goes....

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

I interned at my first legal job. It's really hard finding a job in this economy, and even though this wasn't paying, it was still the legal jackpot as far as I'm concerned. AND I LOVED IT. 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 

I didn't make any resolutions last year. This year, I did. They are mostly all job-hunting related, along with a few lax promises regarding taking care of myself better. We'll see how that fares. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No. 

4. Did anyone close to you die?

I'm not sure how close of a relationship this entails, but one of my mother's best friends, a woman I've known since childhood, died due to long-existing complications resulting from diabetes. She was an incredible woman and one I fondly remember. 

5. What countries did you visit?

Unfortunately, none.  I stayed in 'Merca, by God. 

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

I would like to have a job, or even job prospects. I would like to have a house with a backyard for my dog to play in (I don't care if it's a rental). And I'd like to have my diploma, thankyouverymuch.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don't remember dates; I remember moments. I'll remember my time at my internship, the seven hour winter car ride up to my apartment with my 10 year old brother, my birthday with my friends, and the awesome vacation I took with Leonidas. :) 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I didn't get sick even ONCE this past semester. (It's the little things--and I sound kinda pathetic right here.) 

9. What was your biggest failure?

Time management. I need to work on that...like, a lot. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I got a few colds in the 2011 spring semester. I also twisted my ankle playing a contact sport (like an idiot....I've the most clumsy person you've EVER MET in your entire life) and spent a few days on crutches.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I'd say my bike, but it was a birthday present. So here I go again sounding pathetic: I bought one of those pillows with the arms that you use to sit up in bed. I've been wanting one for years because I hate working at my desk and it is AWESOME. I'm so sad I didn't purchase it sooner. 

12. Where did most of your money go?

Most of it went to rent, bills, and my dog. Oh, and groceries. 

13. What did you get really excited about?

My trip to Orlando with my boyfriend. 

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?

No one song really sticks out from 2011, which is strange because I normally have one. 

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder?  I'm pretty much the same. I guess I'm more excited because I have a lot to look forward to. 
Thinner or fatter? Same.
Richer or poorer? Poorer. Job hunting is a bitch. An expensive bitch. 

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

More cooking at home and hanging out with my friends and family. 

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Obsessing over small things. 

18. How did you spend Christmas?

I spent it with my family at my apartment. :)

19. What was your favorite TV program?

Discovering "The Big Bang Theory" at the end of the year was awesome. 

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

I didn't get to read as much as I would have liked, but I probably enjoyed "The Help" the most of all the books I did read. 

21. What was your favorite music from this year?
I listened to a lot of Glee.
22. What were your favorite films of the year?

Harry Potter 7, second movie. It was badasstastic. 

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Celebrated it with my friends at school and with my boyfriend at my favorite restaurant. 

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A job offer. 

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Is hobo-chic a fashion concept? If not, then "rolled out of bed and went to class" MUST be. 

26. What kept you sane?

My boyfriend and friends. Not my family, because they do not know what sanity is. 

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
I learned the value in trusting in myself. Although I regularly do so, an authority figure in my life discouraged me from doing this, and later beat me up for not doing it. Because of this, I'm stronger, wiser, and a little bit more wary. 

Back that ass up

2011 was a good year. 2012 is going to be even better. 

Because I said so, dammit. 

I've been spending a lot of time doing nothing the past couple of weeks. And when I say nothing, I mean not even feeding myself (although I have, admittedly, been showering). With the new year comes new responsibilities, however, and there are some big changes I am looking forward to in 2012. In 2012, I graduate from law school. I will hopefully pass the Bar. I will also hopefully land a job. That is a shit ton of hoping, children.

With a new job presumably comes a move. I'm not sure where I am moving. I am not sure if I will even be hired. Which means I'm designating 2012 as:

THE YEAR OF THE BACKUP....

A backup plan if things don't work out how they should. A backup plan to ensure my continued sanity. A backup plan that somehow doesn't involve my parents paying for my bills and gas.

Because we all know that stripping is a totally legitimate backup plan, right?

Right??????

Thanksreceiving

It's been a really great day. A really really REALLY great day. I've washed about a quatrillion dishes and gained about eleventy billion pounds, but that's okay.

I'm thankful for my little brother, who keeps torturing my poor dog. I'm thankful for my parents, who drove to ME to prepare and devour our delicious meal. I'm thankful for Leonidas, who was unable to be with his family today and has been stuck at work unable to leave for the past fifteen hours. I'm thankful my football game isn't until tomorrow, and hopeful the Hogs play the second AND the first halves to their greatest potential (here's looking at you, Aggies).

I'm thankful to be able to represent children who might not otherwise have an advocate looking out for them. I'm thankful for the opportunity to plead down two felonies to misdemeanors yesterday for one of those clients. I'm thankful to have the chance to present a full Crawford v. Washington confrontation clause defense before I ever graduate law school. I'm thankful for two more weeks to cram in all I need to do before finals start.

I'm excited for Christmas. And Christmas trees. And Christmas decorations. And purchasing and wrapping cheerful presents for other people. And possibly dressing Crackers in a silly Christmas costume and posing with her in front of the aforementioned Christmas decorations.

I'm fearful of the next few weeks and the incredible amount of work I have to accomplish before it's all over (I equate it to childbirth). But thankful....because I have an amazing support system, a roof over my head, a dog that loves me unconditionally....

and about three weeks of leftovers. YAY FOR TURKEY (and dressing, pie, casserole, and other soon-to-be-frozen items)!!!!!!

Obviously, I was bullied....

Today in my Juvenile Justice class, a girl gave a presentation regarding cyberbullying. Now, I'm no angel, but when I was a kid, I knew right from wrong. I also defend juveniles, so I'm not inherently against them nor do I judge them for their alleged "transgressions." In fact, most the time I think the prosecutor overreaches for their charges and the police use their authority to intimidate kids into confessions.

Another note: I'm a decently jaded person. That being said, today, I was pretty demoralized about the general lack of compassion or character my classmates have regarding the subject of bullying.

People were quick to classify it as "horseplay." Or as "just telling the truth." Or as "kids being kids."

They also said that we had all done it.

I'm sorry, but some of us had parents who would have whooped their asses if they tormented other kids. And some kids just have a fucking heart without the fear of potential ass-whoopings.

Maybe when you bully someone, it makes you feel good. I know when I hurt someone's feelings, it generally makes me feel like a piece of shit.

Let's not make excuses for what has now been classified as criminal behavior. Address the problem.

Because they know it's wrong.

And so do you.

Lucy in the Sky with Cubic Zirconium

This week was pretty much the week from Hell. I had a shitton of stuff I had to make happen, including a few interviews for externships next semester, a presentation for one of my classes, and a gazillion client interviews that somehow had to take place. But somehow I got through it and it's now Friday and I'm sitting in my house clutching two bags of Goodwill purchases and rocking myself like a baby preparing to make dinner like a big kid. (Okay, I did go to Goodwill.)

The most interesting thing to take place this week was probably one of the interviews for a judicial externship. I went in and introduced myself and the judge (who I have NEVER EVER MET BEFORE) said it was nice to see me again, effectively shaming me into a pool of self-doubt about whether we had, in fact, ever actually been introduced before. I maintain we hadn't. But I digress. After our standard repartee regarding why I want the externship and my studies (which I kinda like, because I always seem to have a new answer), we started to meander into other topics.

Like how she once represented a woman in a divorce proceeding who always smelled kinda funny and she never knew what the scent was. Until the lady was arrested for meth. (Oops for requesting child custody.)

Or how I had done an internship this summer and was scared shitless about the job and how much I anticipated hating it (I may have substituted in crap instead) and how I actually ended up loving it. (Maybe that's kinda relevant.)

Or how it's impossible for someone to overdose on LSD, and how the judge had always kinda wanted to try it, but figured she would have a flashback twenty years down the road in court and so she never did.

And how LSD is now being advocated for people suffering severe depression and it supposedly actually works.

And how anytime I smell pot, I want to barf all over the place and how I hate getting on the bus because I never know if the bus will smell like Reefer Joe over in the corner who just got done toking it up right before he boarded.

Oh, and how I saw pot the first time when I was in college and how I had a minor freakout.

And how she knew kids that smoked pot all the time in law school and once they pulled it out in front of her and she also had a minor freakout.

We then agreed that legalizing drugs wasn't necessarily a problem, since the people who are going to try heroin are going to do it regardless of whether it's legal or not, and we just don't want to have to deal with people doing it in public.

Yes, people, I spent approximately 25.3465 minutes of a 30 minute interview discussing drugs...with a circuit judge.

She offered me the externship the next morning. And naturally I accepted.

Closing arguments--don't try this in court.....

Participated in a closing argument contest recently. Of course, I won nothing....unless you include fodder for future blogs and a future nod in the Karma department to be winning. Considering the level of losing I've been achieving lately, I'm losing faith in the usually-comforting Karma (aka: since I keep losing, surely I'll eventually win at something....right? RIGHT?!?!?!?)

So, in order to supplement your advice on how to lose in a trial competition, let me tell you some of the things that apparently win closing arguments: (and I only wish I were kidding)

1) Do not introduce yourself to the court. EVER. It will then be your fault that they are unsure of the name they should engrave on your winning trophy.

2) Don't ever please the court. Forget tradition. Screw respect. LISTEN TO ME, DAMMIT. I DON'T NEED YOUR PLEASES! If you must do this, I recommend the line "Would it please the court to kiss my ass." 

3) Do not ask that they return a specific verdict. Particularly if you're asking for a verdict of not guilty. You DEFINITELY don't want to ask that your client be freed from prison due to his innocence. Surely not.

4) Sarcasm=winning. The judges LOVE sarcasm. They lap that shit up. I'd even suggest a little Bon Qui Qui head snap and finger jerk to show them some real attitude. 

5) Offending the jury? THAT'S A-OKAY! Especially with regard to money: "The prosecution will assert the defendant killed the victim over a measly two thousand dollars." (I'd slit your throat for a candy bar, but that's neither here nor there.) If you could also possibly throw in a racial epithet somewhere, I'm sure they'd award you a couple of bonus points.

6) Fake some sort of illness or disability. I recommend wearing your arm in a sling. Or perhaps a jaunty eyepatch. 

7) If you are a girl, WEAR YOUR HAIR IN YOUR FACE. Ever so often, play with it. If you are a guy with long hair, I also recommend this. 

8) Lie about your level of learning! (No this did not happen, but I fully advocate telling them you are a 2L rather than 3L, since they are sure to view the aforementioned advice and mistakes as a charming indication of your lack of legal finesse and score you higher because of it.)

Happy Monday, everyone.

Occupy Reality

The law school scam bloggers have discovered new territory when it comes to making their voices heard: OCCUPY _________. I've got an idea for them: how about they occupy Common Sense Land?

I generally tend try my damnedest to not pipe in on people's Facebook statuses railing against "the man." I've even (shockingly) agreed with the Rolling Stone's ideas regarding a list of goals OWS might adopt (which are actually pretty good; y'all should head on over and read if you have the time or inclination).

But when people call me a law school shill, it tends to piss me off.

Particularly when the person railing against law schools fabricating employment rates and job opportunities has neglected to read the fine print.

And when he should have been on notice that the fact that he had SIX DUI's would almost certainly impact his ability to even be admitted into the practice of law (at least three of which were obtained while in good ole law school--one of which was on a moped).

But I digress.

I, personally, would love to not have any type of student loan debt. However, I have no loans from undergrad. I made a choice to attend a public university with lesser tuition. I also applied for a gazillion scholarships. And then I pursued a degree in a science-related field. When I was sick of my mom hammering me about borrowing money for "fun stuff," I got a damn job. And I waited tables and learned how to budget my money accordingly.

No, I don't think our country has it together. But I also don't see what good is served by taking over a month off of work (if you have a job; if not, taking a month off from looking for work) to rail against Wall Street, when it seems your beef is with the federal government. And the pink hair? It sure as hell ain't helping your cause.

To this day, I'm still not quite sure what the OWS movement is attempting to accomplish. I'm pretty sure they don't know either.

But I do know that when I graduate from law school, even if I'm only making 30K a year, I'll pay those loans I took out. Because that's what you do when you borrow money. They didn't GIVE IT TO ME.

It's called a loan for a reason.

Great loves (or, YOU DON'T KNOW ME!)

Everyone has their own quirks and idiosyncrasies, particularly when it comes to things they like. I am no exception, although my gleefulness when I encounter one of my favorite things may rival that of a child on Christmas day, while simultaneously coming across as weird. Really weird. One of my favorite things is the first day of school, particularly when I was younger, because it always smelled different. And we had to wake up early when we weren't used to it, so it felt different too. And because I got fresh school supplies.

To this day, I love looking at a fresh sheet of paper, just ready for my writing. Same goes with index cards. And brand new planners. 

I love anything that comes in the mail. My boyfriend (Leonidas) thinks my obsession with checking the mail every single day (and sometimes, admittedly, twice a day) goes beyond the scope of normal behavior. I say, WHO CARES? (And I absolutely love bubble wrap that packages are wrapped in. I'm six years old. And what???) This may also be attributed to the fact that Maxine eschews checking the mail, and I could have had TONS of mail just sitting in our PO box, just gathering dust. Gah.

I love new mascara. Something about taking the brand new wand out and putting on that fresh coat....oh yes. Same with most new makeup, really (but mascara is seriously the best). Hair products are in this same category. I just want to go home and use them. 

New books that haven't been cracked yet, especially when they are leather. Especially not when they are legal related. 

Chips and salsa from a particular Mexican place in town, which has precisely the right amount of cilantro in the recipe. Oooh, and mixing queso with the salsa in a separate bowl (which Leonidas finds repulsive).

Printing out papers and stapling them and having them so fresh and so clean-clean. 

One of my most favoritest things in the entire world? FALL. Growing up in the deep south, I never experienced seasons like we do up here. Our leaves didn't slowly change colors. You just woke up one morning and they were all shriveled up and dead on the ground. I love cold weather. AND TURTLENECKS! (I don't know what my obsession with turtlenecks is, other than when I was young and my family was poor thrifty, we would get the 3/$30 deal from the Penny's catalog in all different color turtlenecks. And I thought I was the SHIT. And a few years, I demanded and received penny loafers. To this day, I still love penny loafers. Maybe that should have been my mom's clue I was to someday become a lawyer.) And I love that first day when you wake up and go outside and your breath fogs! It's delicious.

I know I mostly do legal stuff. And perhaps the next one I write about will be what I love about the law. But I don't think it will make me as happy, as the list is shorter. And comes with all kinds of qualifiers. 

Right now, I'm just content with listing the things that make me unabashedly, unqualifiedly happy to be alive.

Because sometimes, they can seem worlds away. Which is just ridiculous.

I remember....

Like many others, where I was when the Twin Towers went down will forever be branded into my mind.

I was sitting in my ninth grade English teacher's class chatting with her before the bell rang. She always kept CNN on in the morning, and all of a sudden, there were reports of an airplane crashing into the World Trade Center. I specifically remember saying out loud  "Oh my God; what a horrible accident." When the second plane hit, we both realized it was not an accident. And that's when the entire world changed.

Every television in our school was on that day. No one assigned school work. We just sat. And watched. Quietly. Our entire state was on high alert because of the nearby military bases, and as we saw the buildings fall, knew that there were people still inside, we began to realize that there was more to worry about than what we were wearing for homecoming. We saw true heroism. We saw those willing to risk their lives for others and for their country.

The last three years of law school, I have had the same professor read my class a transcript of what occurred on Flight 93: about the group of people that chose to fight their hijackers and died in a Pennsylvania field, rather than in Washington, D.C., when their plane crashed. The strength of the human spirit never fails to amaze me, and that story has never become trite.

It may have occurred ten year ago, when I was only 14 years old, but I remember.

And I will never forget.