Cue the good news

No, I still haven't found a job (yet...). However, my mom called me with some good news. Apparently, while out of the state, the US Patent and Trademark Office sent me something in the mail. And my mother, being the nosy helpful person she is, read it and called me immediately.

I've been deemed qualified to sit for the patent bar exam!!!!!!!!!!! :D

::commence the celebration!!!::

Except....this means I have approximately 60 days to learn ALL THE LAWS. 

And considering how many laws there are and the failure rate, this ain't gonna be pretty.

But still...apparently four....or five (?) (I'm not going back to check) tickets won't keep you from sitting for the patent bar.

Good to know.

Week 7 Schedule...TBE

Today is the first day I start realllllly hitting the ole books hard. I've posted a schedule for this week (7 weeks out) below, and I hope to stick to it. I've allowed myself one free day (Sunday) during which I'll either do nothing or use it to catch up on shit I've not done during the week.

If you'll notice, my schedule isn't nearly as terrifying as Barbri's. That's because I actually want to accomplish it. I've added supplemental in case I finish my daily grind, but that's not required.


Hope it may help you, if you're departing upon this journey by yourself as well.

Happy Monday.

Plan of attack for Texas Bar studying--where I stand, where I want to go #1

As I prepare by myself for the bar examination, I've pledged to update y'all on my blawg as to how I'm studying, what I'm doing, and my plans for the future. Here is a breakdown of the examination and a written analysis of what I've set out to do.....

Texas Essays: 

There are twelve Texas-specific essays (2 Real Property, 2 Business Administrations, 2 UCC, 2 Family Law, 2 Wills and Estates, 1 Trusts OR Guardianship, 1 Consumer Law, w/ crossover topics of Federal Income Tax and Bankruptcy). I've already retyped the notes for Agency, Bankruptcy, Commercial Paper, Civ Pro, Community Property, Consumer Law, Family Law, Federal Income Tax, and Oil and Gas. I'm working on Trusts at this moment. 

This means I need to tackle Corporations, Wills, Texas Real Property, Secured Transactions, , and possibly Contracts. I already feel moderately comfortable with Secured Transactions, because I had a friggin awesome teacher for that, and it's a UCC (aka: mostly national standard) topic. 

For this portion, I plan on retyping the notes that will be most helpful to me, which also means I have to go back through during the final week's review and fill everything in, which will function as a great refresher. For the subjects I feel less strong with regard to or which do no lend themselves to effective outlining, I plan to chart. The next couple of weeks, I'll finish reviewing these subjects, then circle back and start charting some more, plus add in actual essay practice. I'll probably begin essay practice in two weeks. 

MBE:

There are six MBE subjects (Contracts, Constitutional Law, Criminal Law, Evidence, Torts, Real Property). I also plan to work six days out of the week. Thus, I will devote myself to one subject per day, particularly with regard to MBE questions, for the first few weeks. Toward the end, of course, I'll swap to varying questions and focus on subjects I am not doing as well in. 

Texas Procedure and Evidence:

Texas P&E has me nervous, but it also only counts for 10% of the exam. As I've said, I've already rewritten Civ Pro, which was 70 pages and killed a piece of my soul, I'm pretty sure. This means I have to go through the Texas Criminal Procedure plus Civil/Criminal Evidence sections with a fine-toothed comb, because I'm not sure of all the differences. I did well with non-specific criminal law and evidence, but I don't want to get stuck because I don't know the distinctions. 

This subject is also much different because it's a short answer portion, which I didn't have on my last bar examination. As such, I have to print out several of the past Texas tests and start quizzing myself on these. I plan to spend two days per week studying and preparing for the P&E. I will begin by going through the notes and either charting or rewriting them (there are LOTS of pages, so I'm not sure how long this will take me), then I will force myself to take an entire 90 minute practice conditions exam, grade it, then focus where I obviously know jackshit. 

MPT:

This section is also worth 10%. I've already been tested on this on the prior exam, but didn't do as well as I would have liked. I think I may procure a Kaplan book to help prepare, because I've heard that Kaplan really helps in this area moreso than Barbri, and anything that may bring up the score a few points can't be a bad thing. I plan on addressing this subject once a week. 

Ultimately:

I don't feel nearly as nervous as I did, and I attribute that in part to the chart I created acclimating myself with the Texas Bar Examination. (I did a breakdown. I'll attach it on my next blog post.) This helped me visualize the examination, and made it easier to understand which subjects I'm going to need to tackle. In short, it made it seem less insurmountable. 

While I initially thought I was going to do a calendar marking out the next seven weeks, I decided instead to break it down on a weekly basis. On Sundays, I'll analyze my progress, update my blog, and plan out the next week's course of attack. I think this will be more helpful because I won't feel like I'm failing if I spend more time on a subject I really need to address or less on one I find I already know. If you're interested in a blank, fillable study chart, let me know, and I don't mind sending it to you. 

Boomerang Generation, or as my mom put it: "Welcome home; now get the fuck out."

Happy Thanksgiving to all! I'm done moving out of my old apartment, which (if any of you read my Twitter, know) was a horrible terrible HORRIBLE ordeal. Mostly because I was packing it all myself. Thankfully, my dad came up at the last minute and helped me drag the last of it to storage and transported what I wanted to keep back home. And when I tell you that man can PACK a truck, I do mean it. I thought it would take three or four trips to get all my crap to storage. One, guys. ONE. And when we got there, he strung up rope and hung my clothes from it like a clothesline. Because my dad is obviously a genius.

I owe my dad in large part to fitting entirely too much shit into such a small area 

I want to say I was really sad about leaving my apartment, but really I was so friggin' tired of moving and so overwhelmed by tiredness and dust, that I mostly said good riddance and got the Hell out of Dodge. Regardless, I still took some "reminiscent, empty house" photos. Whatever.

An empty house never looked SO BEAUTIFUL.
(Also: bye F-town. You've been good to me.)

So....I've now been officially inducted into the Boomerang Generation. I'm crashing with my parents until I can find a job, which hasn't been forthcoming as of yet. Today I applied for a job about seven states away today, and will snap it up if I am offered the chance (which will almost assuredly not happen, given the fact that I've been so ridiculously un-hireable as of yet). I've also been applying for science jobs across the state that may or may not utilize my legal "prowess," and haven't heard back from any of them. Yesterday, I finished finding, printing, and highlighting all the classes I'm using to claim eligibility for the Patent Bar (it took a couple of hours), which I credit in large part to the workspace I've set up in my parents' new house. I'm in a closet y'all, which is ideal for me. Not too much room, not too many distractions, but not so small that it makes me feel like stabbing my eyeballs out. 

Behold....the glory.
(Also known as "where the magic happens.)

In order to keep myself further occupied, I've been planning out my mode of attack regarding getting into shape/becoming a super-sexy-beast. I hate the routine I've managed to get into, but hadn't changed it due to my life being in flux and the inability to plan more than a week into the future. Now that I've moved, though, and am settled into a place I'm likely to be for a few months, I'm ditching the excuses and recommitting to being a sexy mid-twenties lady. I refuse to allow unemployment, laziness, and advancing age turn me into a bigger slob. Now I'm trying to figure out the perfect cardio playlist. Do y'all have any suggestions?

I hope y'all have a wonderful holiday, eat until you can't move, and take long, tryptophan-induced naps. 'Tis the season. 

Fundamentals of the Patent Bar Exam

Since I've been girding my loins in anticipation of (finally) registering for the Patent Bar Exam, I've spent a lot of time on the US Patent site. Unfortunately, the instructions are not necessarily all that clear, and the process is definitely more than a little daunting. The next few days, I'm going to be writing a series of articles discussing (1)what the patent bar is; (2) whether you are eligible to sit for the exam; (3) the process by which you go about applying for said exam; and (4) how I plan to study for the exam.

Today, as indicated by this particular blog's name, I'm going to discuss the fundamentals of the Patent Bar Exam (PBE). The PBE is a 100-question standardized test administered across the United States in two ways: first, you can sit for it in a "commercially administered" environment. This simply means that you go to any one testing center in your state and take it at your leisure (within the six hour time constraint and within 90 days of being allowed to sit for the exam, of course). Second, you can request that the United States Patent and Trademark Office (the USPTO) administer your exam. If I'm not mistaken, there is a difference of prices between the two, the first option is computerized while the second is paper, and the USPTO administered exam does not allow you to pick the day on which it is administered or where it is taken. It is only administered in one place: at the United States Patent and Trademark Office in Alexandria, Virginia. I'm picking the first option, as I've already missed the 2012 exam time-frame and do not wish to wait until next summer before I take it, and I also prefer knowing instantly whether I passed or failed the exam (the waiting time is eliminated if you take it electronically).

Speaking of passing or failing the exam: I've heard that the failure rate is really high. While I'm not sure of the actual numbers from this year since they vary so widely, I am assuming that it includes all people taking the exam. Not only lawyers are allowed to take this exam (I will be discussing that particular topic in my next entry)--rather, anyone that meets prerequisites can take the exam, and then the distinction of patent agent v. patent attorney comes into play. If you take and pass the exam while you are a non-lawyer, then receive your license to practice law, you can apply to be formally recognized as a patent attorney. However, in order to pass, you must score 70% or higher. Although I mentioned previously that this exam is 100 questions, only 90 questions are actually scored. This means you have to get 63/90 questions right to pass.

The day of the exam, the test is split into two sections. In the morning, you have 3 hours to answer 50 questions. You repeat this process in the afternoon. You'll be provided with a computerized copy of the MPEP and will be expected to utilize your time wisely. At lot of resources are available for people who want to take the test. You can find old examinations and answers here. You can also find a lot of info from previous test-takers here, including test questions asked recently and people discussing nuances of the law. I'll be using these sites the next couple of months as I prepare to take my exam.

Thanks for reading my first entry regarding the PBE. I hope I've broken down things in a cohesive manner, but if you need to fill in any gaps, please visit the USPTO. Be sure to tune in soon for my next blog entry regarding whether or not you're eligible to sit for this exam. If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask me and I'll try to answer them.

Random thoughts on a Wednesday

1) I need this dress. Like, WHY THE HECK IS THIS DRESS NOT IN MY CLOSET? If anyone wants to buy it for me and pay for the (almost assuredly) ridiculous dry cleaning bill to try to maintain ALL THE PLEATS, I shall divulge my size to you.

(No...but really....)

2) Interviewed for a job a couple of days ago. It wasn't so bad, except I had to go in at 6:45 IN THE EVENING and due to the length of the interview, my mother thought I had been abducted by a band of thieves that wanted to sell me into sexual slavery. As a result of this interview, I've been revamping my appellate brief I wrote back in 2L year (which means I've been working strictly on the standard of review, which is really difficult for questions of mixed fact and law...) to send in as a writing sample.

(I'm pretty sure the answer for my particular problem is de novo with deference, in case you were wondering.)

3) The previously-mentioned job interview made me realize how little I know about tax implications. So I spoke to my awesome friend (whose blog is located here) who is receiving her LLM in tax, and also went to speak to my friendly neighborhood CPA. If anyone here is wondering if they should speak to people who know things about taxes.....the answer is yes. You should. Because those people rock. (Also, if you're thinking of going solo, wouldn't it be nice for you to know things about taxes/deductions/best method of incorporation before you jump into something feet first?)

4) I'm working on filling out the last bit of information for my patent bar. This was difficult mostly due to the fact that I have to locate EVERY ticket I've ever been given that was more than $100. Which is every ticket I've ever been given. (I'm lucky I'm young. They apparently don't have a date to stop at, although I'm sure 90 year olds didn't pay more than $100 for tickets until more recently....)

5) I'm also working on completing the last bit of my paperwork for the Texas Bar. Because I'm a masochist. Only thing left (if I'm not mistaken) is getting my fingerprints. Which leads me to think that I am going to make a checklist for future Texas bar examinees. For how much you have to pay the great state of Texas for the "privilege" of taking their test, you'd think they could maintain a more user-friendly, organized website. Of course, I'm not surprised.

Bar Exam Blues....

I leave for my hotel tomorrow. On Tuesday, I start the bar. I finish it on Wednesday. 

I rarely panic. Instead, my body chooses to exhibit stress in horrific ways. Like mouth ulcers. And stomach aches. And headaches. And other things that I have elected not to share with the blawg universe. 

Mentally, I am fine. I think it is because I am in a state of denial. I do not think I have studied enough, but I'm pretty sure no one ever does (and if they do, they're probably going to fail, because that's just moronic and they don't deserve to pass the bar if they're morons). When I sit for the test, I will be fine. 

My issues arise during the WAIT for my scores. I am "lucky" enough to find out my results on my birthday. Not at the beginning of the day, either. I receive the results at 4:00 in the afternoon. Anyone that knows me can tell you that I.HATE.WAITING. I love surprises, but not surprises like this. I like surprises like Christmas gifts. And good meals. And flowers. And edible arrangements. Even if I pass the bar and get positive results, there is no way that this can ever be considered a "happy surprise." What I guess I'm trying to say is my mental disturbance will almost certainly emerge during my waiting period. 

You have been warned.

In other news, I plan on watching the rest of my Agency/Parnership video tonight. I'll probably quickly review Wills/Trusts/Estates, and briefly glance at Corporations (because I'm pretty sure I've already disposed of that knowledge since watching it previously). Tonight I'll probably take a few MPQ questions and flip through my gorgeous laminated "templates." Tomorrow, I drive. And languish. And Tuesday, I sweat. 

To everyone else taking the bar, I have but one thing to say: 

Love you, H-dawg.

Armadillos from Texas play rap, eating tacos.

If you have watched the Barbri contracts lecture, son, you know what the hell I mean.

(You're welcome.)

Barbri Amp: What it says v. what it means

Yes, Barbri is still struggling to get its shit together with regards to Barbri AMP, much to the chagrin of the people who paid shittons of money for its proven track record of "experience" and "success." Whatev.

Barbri: Experience.Failure.

Let me preface this blog entry by saying that I am no gunner. I do what I have to do to get by, and I do what I personally have to do to ensure that I know what I have to know.

Thus, I'm (obviously) taking Barbri to prepare for the Bar this summer. Barbri has been great and has a lot of great features that they tout at every damn available opportunity. Two days ago, I heard about the amazingness that was Barbri AMP. According to Barbri people, AMP is the bomb.com. AMP is Jesus' little brother. Super serial, you guys! In fact, Barbri's president Mike Sims has even talked about the awesomeness that shines out of AMP's every orifice: "BARBRI AMP gives our students a tremendous advantage on the Multistate Bar Exam, one of the most challenging parts of the bar," said Mike Sims, President of BARBRI. "The score increases realized by students who used BARBRI AMP can make the difference between passing and failing the bar, especially when you consider that many people fail the bar exam by just a few points," added Sims.

So I get online to access it yesterday, and what happens? Nothing.


That's right....nothing. The page won't load. My classmates and others throughout the United States are having shit fits because they want ALLZ THE INFO now. I would very much so like to access this as well, although my want arises particularly due to my pecuniary interest in this product. Today Barbri fired off the following two emails:

I understand how there is shittons of other material out there with which we can study effectively. But when I'm paying $2600, which is almost $50 per day (and others are paying even more in other states), I'd hope you could figure this shit out in less than 24 hours. Additionally, when you make promises about how much it will help improve my Bar exam score then don't deliver....well, that's just shitty.

Hopefully Barbri will get its act together with regard to its server, because they're going to have to deal with a whole lot of pissed off, newly minted lawyers with a (probably not valid) excuse as to why they failed the Bar exam if they do not.

Not me, of course. I handle my problems with booze, not lawsuits.

Bar tips: the MBE notebook

Barbri is fantastic, but I also need to work on personal organization and educating myself outside of the scope of Barbri. Which is why  I'm creating a new line of posts in which I seek organizational tips from fellow Bar students/lawyers, as well as give a rundown of my organizational process, so to speak.

Topic of the day: creating a Bar MBE notebook.

I actually plan on having two notebooks: one for MBE and one for essay. But since this is the world of MBE, I'll stick to that one (for now). For those of you who aren't taking the Bar this summer but will in the future, I'm not sure how much you know about this exam. I knew of the subject matter, but no one differentiated (to me, at least) which was on the MBE and which was on the essay portion before this summer. Which leads me to my notebook breakdown, subject by subject (and a couple of other relevant tabs):

1) MBE Practice Tips 

2) Constitutional Law

3) Contracts

4) Criminal Law/Procedure

5) Evidence

6) Real Property

7) Torts

8) Practice Exams/Answers

There are six subjects on the Multistate Bar Exam--actually seven, if you consider how Criminal Law and Criminal Procedure are TOTALLY different cups of tea, but whatever. Lawyers don't go to law school to learn how to count (although Criminal Sentencing Guidelines are apparently exempt from this statement). 

Disclaimer: this binder is going to be REALLY big. I've actually got to go buy a binder that I find adequately intimidating enough to handle all my Bar nonsense. I'm also investing in the good tabs: the ones with front pockets, in case I actually sit down and define all the words I need to flip through on a daily basis. Or in case I'm a dumbass and forget to hole-punch necessary items the first go around, and need somewhere to stick those notes so I don't lose them. 

At any rate, these tabs will handle the following information, although I'm not sure if I want to get some of those smaller Post-it tabs (the good ones) to ultra-compartmentalize it:

1) Outline of the subject--this will be the precise outline (2 pages or less)

2) Relevant definitions

3) Chart/Template I'm modifying, based on this amazing site's example

4) My kitchen sink outline

5) Quizzes I've taken on this subject

6) Supplemental material from the web

As you can see, this can get overwhelming quickly. On the other hand, I feel extremely motivated when I can see my progress right in front of my eyes, which is why this will probably be the best approach for me. I understand not everyone learns the same way, which is why it's important to realize your strengths and weaknesses, and then plan accordingly. 

Have I overlooked anything? Do you have any tips for me that have been helpful to you? 

Barbri, Day 5 (aka: OMG, I'm starting to see legal questions in everything)

Today was Barbri day 5, as indicated in my title. While I realize that many argue that the word excruciating is one that precludes degrees (much like someone can't be "very unique" or "a little bit pregnant"), I personally think that there are degrees to excruciating, like thumbtacks v. bamboo shoots under the fingernails. Or like 7 hours of Barbri review given by the same guy who sounds exactly like Lewis Black. Which I would classify as REALLY FUCKING EXCRUCIATING.

I don't mind listening. I don't mind sitting attentively. And I don't mind the lectures. What bothers me is the mind-numbing monotony of it all. But that's what I've paid for, and I'll squeeze every damn penny of of the endless monotony.

Which brings me to my next point: OMG I'M TURNING EVERYTHING INTO BAR EXAM QUESTIONS (I'm also highly considering making some of my favorite movies into examples on how to get through portions of the Bar, starting with Kill Bill and Mulan. Trust me, there are shittons of legal scenarios I can use to construct a bonafide badass outline to get me through the Bar and help me remember. And perhaps I will...). Back to my point: tonight I was reading Above the Law, as I'm apt to do, when I ran across this gem of a quote from New Jersey's (Republican/stupid/aneurysm-inducing) governor with regards to his state defying a federal law against certain types of betting:

"We intend to go forward," the Republican governor said. "If someone wants to stop us, then let them try to stop us. We want to work with the casinos and horse racing industry to get it implemented...Am I expecting there may be legal action taken against us to try to prevent it? Yes," the governor said. "But I have every confidence we're going to be successful."

What realm are we in? Obviously Constitutional Law. What is this concerning? States' powers. What is the rule? Supremacy Clause--federal laws=supreme law of the land. And who will win? Duh: the motherfucking government. Apparently I learned a new word this week: federalism.

Although I think "motherfucking federalism" has a much better ring to it. And would be awesome if repeated in a Lewis Black voice.

Barbri, Day 4 and other shit

Today I did the 3 hour, 100 question MBE practice test. I got 57 questions right. Which means I got 43 wrong. Of the six subjects:

1) Contracts kicked my ass. So did Evidence and Torts. Like, made me want to cry kicked my ass.

2) I only got three Real Property questions wrong. Which makes me question whether I took some kind of red pill and wandered into a Matrix-type rabbit hole. As opposed to Adderall, which is clearly the blue type of pill you see at law school all too often.

3) Con Law and Criminal Law weren't so bad, but I'd like to do better.

After I got my ass kicked thoroughly by Barbri today, I went home to analyze the damages. Obviously I wasn't too torn up, and I (surprisingly) wasn't too mind-fucked to pursue outlining for this next week. Obviously aliens have taken over my body.

I also went for a sprint/walk tonight. Something I officially gave up FOR LIFE. (Because, let's face it, biking is so much better and I'm a slow ass MF.) I've figured that if there's the possibility of me failing the bar and finding out ON MY BIRTHDAY, I'm at least going to look hot while reveling in my misery.

Or hot while celebrating. No matter the outcome, I plan on looking hot.

Except when I ugly cry (which is going to happen, either way). 

Barbri, Day 3

Today's Barbri preview focused on Constitutional Law and Evidence and OH MY GOD I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING AND WE'RE ALL GONNNNNNNAAAA DIIIIIIEEEEEEEE.

But for reals, it was (again) totally demoralizing, although definitely not surprising, with regard to how little I know. Completely.

Notes from today:

1) Got to see the Criminal Law teacher again...he reminds me of Steven Colbert, and makes my day better. Particularly when he uses the mnemonic device BARRRRRRK (okay, I added a few extra Rs in the there, but he is totally awesome).

2) As a side note: mnemonic is THE WORST AND HARDEST WORD IN THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SPELL.

3) Also got to see the majorly awesome Torts prof again, but he wasn't as organized for Constitutional Law and it gave me the sadz.

4) Went and printed off study tips for approaching the MBE. Panic attack is likely to ensue any moment now.

5) Constitutional Law is going to suck, and I don't care what the guy said--I'm not going to be the majority of people who get 24/33 correct because I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REMEMBER ALL THIS INFORMATION AND STUFF IT INTO MY HEAD AND MAKE IT STAY THERE. (I'm pretty sure this info leaks out of my ears at night.)

Tomorrow we are set to take a 100 question, 3 hour practice test. Lots of people aren't showing up to the school tomorrow because they can do it at home. I know better than this. I would sleep until eleven, play with shiny things, cuddle with my dogs, and then take eleventy billion hours to try to get through it. So I'm dragging my happy ass to the school tomorrow, because if I don't have the discipline to take it at home, you bet your sweet bippy that I'll have the discipline to haul my ass somewhere that ensures I do. And no, that's not sarcasm.

In other news, I think I'm going to be taking a nice weekender for Memorial Day, and may even get the chance to yell FREEEEEBIRD in a setting that's suitably appropriate. White trash nirvana? Oh hells to the yes. Am I okay with this?

FREEEEEEEEEEBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRD!!!!!!!!!

(duh)

Barbri, Day 2

Barbri Day #2 is over, although I do have some "homework" I apparently need to go over. Today was a lot worse than yesterday, namely because it went over Real Property and Contracts, and I very much so suck at both of those subjects....particularly Contracts.

Guy teaching the courses (same guy for both, both on a video) was funny. He reminded me of Louis Black. Without the cussing. Which may have made Contracts a whole lot more fun and memorable, but alas, I'll never know.

However, there are a whole lot of points I think I should make regarding today:

1) There were dramatically fewer people in my class today than yesterday, namely because they figured they could see the same videos from home. I cannot do that because (a) I have the attention span of a gna---oh, wow, look at that shiny object! and (b) I will never get around to watching all the video or take the video seriously when I could be doing a multitude of other, more worthy things (like sleeping, or eating, or sleep-eating).

2) Real Property sucks just as much now as it did 1L year, but Real Estate Transactions played a MUCH larger role in this section than anyone else let on it would. Ergo, I'm thankful I took the latter course, even though I shudder every time I hear the word mortgage.

3) Our class should really devise a system of shutting our books and letting the daily administrator know  when we are finished with our preview test, so we don't spend an extra 15 minutes Facebooking inside a classroom instead of getting out early and Facebooking from the privacy of our own homes.

4) I've GOT to start packing a lunch, because one of these days, I'm not going to be so lucky about snagging a parking spot when I leave and come back to school.

5) Okay, people. We get it. The dude just repeated himself four fucking times. I see how you might think that's funny. Personally, I think you should probably just write it down over and over again, so you might remember it for the Bar. Because, you know, if he's saying it seventeen times, IT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT.

In addition to these notes, I think it's fair to say that this course is pretty damn good. I'm learning a lot, and even though I emerge each day with a headache, I figure I'm getting my money's worth. I've also taken up bicycling again (8.5 miles today) to deal with the stress of studying, and also so I can look decent in a majorly fucking hot swimsuit I plan on wearing at the end of the summer.

Is anyone else taking Barbri? What do y'all think of it so far?

Barbri, Day 1

1) Barbri started today. This means I get to officially learn what's actually *relevant* for the Bar....since the past three years have apparently MEANT NOTHING.

2) We started off with a Torts practice exam. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

3) To the douche sitting behind me: BURN. No, really. I'm tired of you already being a douchebag, particularly since we're only one hour into the effing course.

4) It's a beautiful day outside. And I wish I were floating in a pool somewhere, tanning my pasty white legs (who am I kidding? They would burn in a heartbeat).

5) Happy birthday to my fantastic boyfriend, who is now a quarter of a century old.