At this point, it'd be a mercy killing...

I have ten days before I'm sitting in a Prometric Site well on my way to failing the patent bar exam.

Most people think I'm exaggerating when I say this. Let me be clear: I'm not. And, just to back up this assertion, I'm going to give you a short list of reasons why I'm almost* undoubtedly going to fail the bar exam.

*I say almost because there's the slim possibility the baby Lord Jesus may swoop down from Heaven and grant me the infinite wisdom of the MPEP and I might somehow, with his divine guidance, make the required 70% to pass the test. But....I'm not going to bank on it. 

1) I've not studied enough. I've probably put in about 100 hours of study time. Maybe 80 hours, if I'm being super honest with myself. I have been pulled in all different directions, and allowed myself to be entirely too ADHD with my studying process, which means that these 80-100 hours of studying have been non-linear and a clusterfuck of confusion. Most people study, at minimum, 250 hours for this exam.

OOOH, SHINY THING.

2) This bar exam is different. I've taken and passed two bar exams. And this exam is different because (a) it's open book, (b) it has no essays, and (c) it's not scaled, this just means that bar examining committee has more leeway to ask hypertechnical questions, and that I can't rely on dumbasses who do worse than me to pull my score up. It's either pass or fail. No in-between. And to pass, you have to study a shitton of hours. (See #1)

3) New material has made this bar exam almost impossible to study for. In 2011, Obama signed into law the America Invents Act, which took our patent system from a first to invent to a first to file process. The bar exam started testing this in full effect three months ago. This means that I have to be responsible for all the material before the America Invents Act (AIA) and ALLLLL the information after as well. This means twice the friggin material, and no real guide as to how these questions are going to be framed and no really good way to study for them.

Exactly. 

Now, I can go on and on about exactly how fucked I am, but this blog entry is a testament to EVERYTHING I'M DOING WRONG. I'm sitting here bitching about this exam that I'm going to fail rather than praying to the baby Lord Jesus or lighting a candle in his honor or, you know, actually studying for the motherfucking patent bar exam.

So yeah, maybe YOU can light a candle for me? Or pray that Jesus rides in on his pterodactyl and saves the day. Because otherwise, well, I'm fucked.

First day back to the grindstone....Or, my foray into patent bar studies

I've officially begun studying for the Patent Bar Exam....cue the twilight zone music.

It basically consists of me taking all of my stuff to the local university library (which has the most RIDICULOUS hours I've ever heard of...I mean, not open on Saturdays? REALLY?!?!). When I get there, I have to pop in a CD that goes over each phase of the Patent Bar--there are 36 CDs...and I effectively waited long enough that I'm going to have to supplement it with ADDITIONAL information regarding the newly introduced "first to file" legislation that isn't part of my study program. ::womp womp::

The good news is that I'm through 2 of the 36 CDs. The bad news is that means I have 34 CDs left. However, unlike having 50 gazillion pounds of Barbri books to cart around (like I'm used to), here I have several sleeves of CDs, three (very thin) booklets, and a 1 inch 3 ring binder. If nothing else, my back will be a lot happier with this bar studying attempt.

I have to admit that it feels good to be studying for something and to have another goal. AND I'll be told as soon as I'm finished with the Patent Bar Exam whether I passed or failed. None of this "wait two months and see!" hullabaloo (also, FYI, Texas posts results in 15 days....pardon me while I go throw up).

Screw you Texas, I've already got an award...er, bar license.

Cue the good news

No, I still haven't found a job (yet...). However, my mom called me with some good news. Apparently, while out of the state, the US Patent and Trademark Office sent me something in the mail. And my mother, being the nosy helpful person she is, read it and called me immediately.

I've been deemed qualified to sit for the patent bar exam!!!!!!!!!!! :D

::commence the celebration!!!::

Except....this means I have approximately 60 days to learn ALL THE LAWS. 

And considering how many laws there are and the failure rate, this ain't gonna be pretty.

But still...apparently four....or five (?) (I'm not going back to check) tickets won't keep you from sitting for the patent bar.

Good to know.

Patent Bar--too lazy to ask?

As a mini-rant--I've applied to sit for the patent bar examination, as my imminent employment opportunities don't look so rosy. I've been out of school for nearly a year with no nibbles at my employment hook, and I'm starting to get even more irritated regarding my unemployed status (but that's okay, because I apparently take lots of bar examinations as a consolation, which should indicate my level of sanity).

A week and a half ago, I sent in my package for the patent bar. Let me be clear: the patent bar is both the easiest application process and the most ridiculous application process I've seen for a bar examination. I don't have to give ANY employment history. I don't have to give ANY of the places I've lived in the past. References? WHO NEEDS EM? However, they do want to know about EVERY.SINGLE.ticket you've ever received, as well as *why* you qualify to take their special exam.

I spent ages getting my classes together, highlighting them, printing out course descriptions, showing the grades I received on my transcript, etc. I also had to go to four different jurisdictions in two separate states to get the five (speeding) tickets I've received in my lifetime. I sent in those proofs of payment, thinking they would be enough to demonstrate all that is taken care of.

Does this LOOK like I'm kidding? Also, no comments on my "C's". They count, lol.

Flash forward to today: I receive a letter in the mail requesting additional information about these tickets. What jurisdiction did I receive them in? What did I receive them for? What was the disposition in the case? Never mind this was all in the proof of receipts I sent. NOOOOO, they want ME to explain them. So I did. I wrote allllll of that junk down, and I'm sending it in on Monday.

I guess the silver lining is that I know they received my junk (silly me--I forgot to send them a self-addressed envelope so they could confirm they received my package) AND I know that my classes are sufficient to qualify for the patent examination. :D

Now all I have to do is see whether they will let me in............and if I can pass.

Fundamentals of the Patent Bar Exam

Since I've been girding my loins in anticipation of (finally) registering for the Patent Bar Exam, I've spent a lot of time on the US Patent site. Unfortunately, the instructions are not necessarily all that clear, and the process is definitely more than a little daunting. The next few days, I'm going to be writing a series of articles discussing (1)what the patent bar is; (2) whether you are eligible to sit for the exam; (3) the process by which you go about applying for said exam; and (4) how I plan to study for the exam.

Today, as indicated by this particular blog's name, I'm going to discuss the fundamentals of the Patent Bar Exam (PBE). The PBE is a 100-question standardized test administered across the United States in two ways: first, you can sit for it in a "commercially administered" environment. This simply means that you go to any one testing center in your state and take it at your leisure (within the six hour time constraint and within 90 days of being allowed to sit for the exam, of course). Second, you can request that the United States Patent and Trademark Office (the USPTO) administer your exam. If I'm not mistaken, there is a difference of prices between the two, the first option is computerized while the second is paper, and the USPTO administered exam does not allow you to pick the day on which it is administered or where it is taken. It is only administered in one place: at the United States Patent and Trademark Office in Alexandria, Virginia. I'm picking the first option, as I've already missed the 2012 exam time-frame and do not wish to wait until next summer before I take it, and I also prefer knowing instantly whether I passed or failed the exam (the waiting time is eliminated if you take it electronically).

Speaking of passing or failing the exam: I've heard that the failure rate is really high. While I'm not sure of the actual numbers from this year since they vary so widely, I am assuming that it includes all people taking the exam. Not only lawyers are allowed to take this exam (I will be discussing that particular topic in my next entry)--rather, anyone that meets prerequisites can take the exam, and then the distinction of patent agent v. patent attorney comes into play. If you take and pass the exam while you are a non-lawyer, then receive your license to practice law, you can apply to be formally recognized as a patent attorney. However, in order to pass, you must score 70% or higher. Although I mentioned previously that this exam is 100 questions, only 90 questions are actually scored. This means you have to get 63/90 questions right to pass.

The day of the exam, the test is split into two sections. In the morning, you have 3 hours to answer 50 questions. You repeat this process in the afternoon. You'll be provided with a computerized copy of the MPEP and will be expected to utilize your time wisely. At lot of resources are available for people who want to take the test. You can find old examinations and answers here. You can also find a lot of info from previous test-takers here, including test questions asked recently and people discussing nuances of the law. I'll be using these sites the next couple of months as I prepare to take my exam.

Thanks for reading my first entry regarding the PBE. I hope I've broken down things in a cohesive manner, but if you need to fill in any gaps, please visit the USPTO. Be sure to tune in soon for my next blog entry regarding whether or not you're eligible to sit for this exam. If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask me and I'll try to answer them.