FINANCIAL DEPRESSION CONFESSION: Why My Money Woes Were The End of The World!

Have you (or someone you know) ever thought that your money or credit woes were the end of the world? I have.

 

Many of my private clients dealing with money or credit woes were also dealing with major depression as a result of their financial situation. Whether their challenging financial situation was due to a job loss, excessive debt, unexpected financial expense, or lack of money management skills and knowledge; the emotional stress caused significant mental and physical illnesses like high blood pressure, anxiety attacks, etc. 

I can absolutely relate. So, I am sharing my Financial Depression Confession of how my money woes made me feel like it was the end of the world and what I did to help myself get better. My hope is that my transparency with this experience will help someone get through their extremely sensitive and painful period of financial depression. 
  

IT WAS THE END OF THE WORLD!
  
I dealt with major depression. I didn’t want to get out of bed, wasn’t motivated to clean my house, didn’t want to talk or see anyone, and I cried … A LOT! I suffered from insomnia and exhaustion. I over ate and didn’t exercise, so of course I gained lots of weight, which killed my self-esteem. This vicious cycle made me feel like it was the end of the world! I even contemplated suicide, but honestly … I couldn’t even “financially” afford to kill myself. Wait! Before you judge … depression is a severe psychological illness and if not treated, it can cause the sanest person to consider or do insane things.

  
WHAT I DID: I got help! I went to clinical counselor to talk about my feelings. I know what you maybe thinking, but talking out some major emotional insecurities and feelings with a qualified third party helped me to deal with those emotions. It also gave me an unbiased support system. I was reminded that my emotions were normal, which helped me to realize that what I was going through was NOT the end of the world. By purging my private pain, I was able to free my mind to think more logically.

  
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!

  
I didn't believe that anyone would understand what I was going through. I’m Madam Money! How could anyone understand how or why I was dealing with Money Woes? I didn't think that anyone would understand, so I isolated myself. It was a very lonely place to not have anyone I could trust to share that I was dealing with my deepest and darkest fears of about money.
  
WHAT I DID: Once I realized that this "lie" I was telling myself was bred from my PRIDE. I was too proud to ask for help. So, I had to humble myself and ask my a core circle of family and friends for help. I established specific roles for each of them to help me. For example, I had friends that helped me and held me accountable for eating better and exercising, friends that made me get out of the house to avoid isolation, and a family member that helped me financially when I absolutely needed. Asking for help was the hardest thing for me to do, but it was the best thing I could have ever done. And guess what, they understood because they experienced what I was going through.

I WAS EMOTIONALLY PARALYZED

  
Emotionally and mentally, I was paralyzed. I just couldn't move past what I was going through. Yes, I prayed and did my best to trust that God would get me through it, but I just couldn't do what was necessary to allow God to move. “Faith without Works is dead!” I knew that Bible verse and said it to myself every day. But … I felt helpless and hopeless which kept me paralyzed.
  
WHAT I DID: I changed my MIND! I realized that the eyes may be the strongest muscles in the body, but the Mind (brain) is the hardest muscle to change. So, I worked at it everyday. I changed what I watched, read and listened to. I became extremely protective about what I allowed to enter my mind because Thoughts turn into Words, Words turn into more Thoughts and those Thoughts turn into Actions or Non-Actions. What we visualize will actualize (positive or negative) so I only allowed positive and actionable thoughts, through affirmations, songs, books, etc.

  
OPERATION: FINANCIAL SELF-SABOTAGE

  
I medicated my pain through spending money on eating out every day, drinking and shopping. Oh yes I did! Dealing with the pain was too painful. So I tried to numb the pain by doing the opposite of was I know to do. Knowing what to do and how to do it but doing the opposite is “self-sabotage.” I become my own worst enemy. I became my most challenging client.

WHAT I DID: I got help from another financial coach. Yup! Coaches need coaching too. Even though I didn’t need my coach to tell me what to do; I needed my coach to hold me accountable to do what I know I’m supposed to do. My coach guided me through the process as a support system to stop my financial hemorrhaging caused by my financial self-sabotage. 

  
SELF DOUBT DESTROYED ME!

Everything I did to try to improve my situation, just didn't work. The more my attempts failed the more I doubted myself and my ability to fix my situation. How do you destroy the most confident person in the world … DOUBT! Doubt is the direct result of Fear, which is “False Evidence Appearing Real.” Bottom line … I was afraid to fail and because my attempts weren't working, this failure made me doubt everything.

  
WHAT I DID: Believe it or not … I connected with others! By connecting and networking with other people and professionals, I had intellectually stimulating conversations. Those conversations helped me build new relationships and networks. Those new relationships and networks valued my connection because of my personality, expertise or passion. This built up my confidence. Not only that, I connected with people who experienced my challenges, or knew someone who could assist me with my some of my challenges. This built up my confidence and reduced my doubt. 

 I’m not saying that everything that I did to help me will help you. But I am saying that there is HOPE and HELP for anything that you may be going through. 
  
Whatever you are going through, even though it may feel like it … it is NOT the end of the world.  It is the beginning of a new opportunity to make you stronger than ever to improve your current financial situation. 

  
I look forward to being a resource to help you through my pain, passion and purpose.

Making Money Matters Manageable,

Tarra Jackson

Madam Money's Q & A: Will Rent Reference Help Mortgage Application

Have you (or someone you know) ever wondered if a reference letter from a landlord would help with showing payment history for a mortgage application? 

Great Question!  Here the answer ... 



Do you have a personal finance or credit questions?  

Ask me and get answers! 

Just email your question to Tarra@TarraJackson.com. 

Making Money Matters Manageable, 

Tarra Jackson

Top 10 Things You Need to Know about Healthcare Reform

Are you (or someone you know) worried about how the upcoming Healthcare Reform will affect you?  I am!

 

Many people, especially entrepreneurs and those are that currently uninsured, are concerned about the upcoming Healthcare Reform. So to simplify the new requirements, Sherri Kindlmann of Inshpere Insurance Solutions gives 10 quick Tips about what you need to know about Healthcare Reform.

 

Tip 1:  Children may remain on their parent’s insurance policy up to age 26.

 

Tip 2:  2014 health plans cannot impose pre-existing condition exclusions.  

                       

Tip 3:  Annual limits on essential health benefits are prohibited.

 

Tip 4:  Premiums cannot be based on health status, claims experience, or gender.

 

Tip 5:  Insurers must accept everyone who applies for coverage during the 2014 ACA enrollment period.

 

Tip 6:  All private health insurance plans offered in the Marketplace will offer the same set of essential health benefits which include  emergency services, maternity and newborn care, mental health; prescription drugs, laboratory services, preventive and wellness services, Rehabilitative and habilitative services and devices, and pediatric services.

 

Tip 7:  Individuals must have health insurance coverage in 2014 or may have to pay a penalty.

 

Tip 8:  Private health insurance can be purchased on state-based insurance exchanges administered by a governmental agency or non-profit organization.

 

Tip 9:  Open enrollment begins on the Health Insurance Marketplace in October 2013for coverage beginning January 1, 2014.  The initial open enrollment period ends in March 2014.

 

Tip 10:  Middle-income people under age 65, who are not eligible for coverage through their employer, Medicaid, or Medicare, can apply for tax credit subsidies available through state-based exchanges. 

 

For more information about the Healthcare Reform, contact your local insurance agent or go to http://www.insphereis.com/skindlmann.

_________________________________________________________ 

Contributing author, Sherri Kindlmann, is a licensed insurance agent in the state of Georgia, representing Insphere Insurance Solutions.  For questions and complimentary health insurance consultation, contact Sherri at skindlmann@InsphereIS.com or 678-226-9266. IIS001391

5 Car Buying Tips for Women

Do you (or someone you know) want to avoid paying more than you have to when buying a car? I do!

If you are in the market for a new car now or in the near future, here are 5 Car Buying Tips to help save money when shopping for your next car.

   

KNOW YOUR BUDGET

The first and most important tip is to know "How much you can afford!" Do NOT let a car dealer's finance department or bank tell you how much you can afford.  Both essentially want to ensure that you borrow as much as possible so they can make more money off of you. The more they can make you believe that you can afford, the more the car dealership will make on the car and the more loan interest income the bank will earn on your loan.

   

GET PRE-QUALIFIED

The best way to avoid unpleasant surprises; like, not qualifying for the amount wanted, needing a cosigner or getting a ridiculously high interest rate, is to get Pre-Qualified or Pre-Approved for an auto loan. Go to your bank or credit union to apply for the auto loan. Tell them the payment amount you can afford to pay so they can determine the total loan amount based on the interest rate and term you qualify for based on your credit. Remember, the Higher your Credit Score, the Lower your interest rate and the More loan amount you will qualify for.  Adversely, the Lower your Credit Score, the Higher your interest rate and the Less loan amount you may qualify for or a down payment will be required.

    

RESEARCH BEFORE YOU CAR SHOP

Now it's time to have some fun going online to search for a vehicle in your price range. Dealers with No Haggle Deals are really good because they usually sell their vehicles below NADA or KBB value.  Next go to NADA or KBB website to find out and print the Trade In and Retail Values to take when you go shopping.

    

TAKE A MAN WITH YOU

Take your husband, boyfriend, father, brother, uncle, male coworker or that dude from down the street. Even if he knows nothing about cars or negotiating, take a man with you when you go car shopping. If the sales person begins speaking directly to the man, play along and coach your escort in what to say or not say. You are in control of the transaction; he is just the figure head.  Unfortunately, women are sometimes taken advantage of during the car sales process.

     

NEGOTIATE BEFORE THE TEST DRIVE

Sometimes we absolutely lose our mind after we get intoxicated by that "New Car" smell during the test drive. My advice is to negotiate before you test drive to have a clear mind during the negotiation process.

    

Here are a few things to do when you get to the car dealer: 

1. Tell the sales person that you are doing a cash purchase. (Because you have already been pre-approved!) 
2. Do NOT give your personal information or allow them to run your credit. (Again, you are already pre-approved.) 
3. Tell the sales person what type of car and the price you are looking for. 
4. Ask if the car has any rebates or if the dealership has any incentives. 
5. Ask to see the buyers order with options to see the breakdown of all expenses and fees to help you with negotiating. 

Use your NADA or KBB value to negotiate the price as close to the Trade In value as possible. Negotiating the price as close to the Trade In value will give you equity in your car, as well as help you when you decide to trade in the car later.

     

You may not be able to get the car of your dreams today, but by getting a reasonably priced vehicle within your budget, you will be able to save money and get that dream car in your near future. Happy Shopping!

   

Financially True,

   

Tarra Jackson, Making Money Matters Manageable

5 Signs You're Ready for Financial Coaching

Have you (or someone you know) ever thought about hiring a Financial Coach to help you create and accomplish your financial goals? Check this out ... 

The sense of frustration has become epidemic with today's economy, challenges are becoming more prevalent with personal financial matters. Building financial stability and wealth can be a confusing and complex huge pill to swallow. So, where is a person supposed to find the time to become a financial expert and learn what is necessary to build the financial stability desired?
  

Are You Ready for ...

  

Hiring a financial coach provides a competitive advantage by leveraging the person's time with specialized financial expertise that cuts through the clutter, confusion and contradictory information by teaching them what is relevant - efficiently and with minimal hassle.
  
Here are 5 Signs that You may be Ready Financial Coaching.

1. You're tired of procrastinating and ready to start building wealth and living your dreams.
2. You want to develop your own personalized action plan for building financial security based on principles that are custom designed to fit your specific situation - not a cookie-cutter or generic plan.
3. You want an accountability partner to help you maintain focus on your financial goals.
4. You're just "not interested" with traditional financial planning where all they want to do is sell you investment products. Instead, you want straightforward advice without all the sales pitches.
5. You realize that "true wealth" is not just about more money ... you want to balance your life while working toward financial freedom so that you don't make the mistake of sacrificing your family, health, or a fulfilling life in pursuit of money.

So, if you're ready to start working with a financial coach, feel free to contact me at Prosperity Now Financial Management Services.

  

Financially True,

  

Tarra Jackson, Making Money Sexy!