Why I'm awesome, part 2

1) I'm strange. And by that, I mean I have a really quirky sense of humor, in the way that only theatre kids have. If you know a theatre kid, you know what I mean.

2) I shop at Goodwill and resale/consignment stores a good bit of the time, and at ebay just as much. (I've already went into my ebay addiction, but let's talk about Goodwill for a moment, why don't we?) I started shopping at Goodwill when I was about 15 years old and at the height of my theatre-kid awesomeness, and the "best" outfit I ever wore in high school consisted of leopard print stretch sleep pants with gold threads shooting through them and a man's gold lame' shirt from the 70s with HUGE shoulderpads. I didn't wear it because I thought I looked good. I wore it because it made people smile, or laugh, or point, and it was worth walking around looking like a disco ball for the awesome reactions. I've since retired this look at mostly stick to jeans and blouses, but I may be able to dig up a redacted picture of this outfit. Maybe. If I actually allowed myself to be photographed in it (I said I was weird, not retarded).

This one is almost as good....almost:

3) I hate (almost all) people, but love (almost all) animals. I have two dogs, but they are NOT my fucking babies. I refer to them as "my girls" and they are DOGS. (Don't get me started on people that carry dogs in purses.)

4) When I drink, it's shots. And I have a system for doing so that involves taking said shot, then sipping 8 ounces of water for 40 minutes before I take another shot. And I have never gotten blacked out drunk, or made questionable life decisions while doing this. My drink of choice? Tequila.

5) I didn't get cable until my 3L year, and that was because my boyfriend was tired of missing the games. I still hardly watch it, and mostly use it for background noise or to watch one or two shows I can't catch online.

As a side note: you know from past posts that I've been studying for the Bar, and am just now starting to emerge for air. I'll do another legal blog soon bemoaning my cruel summer's fate, etc. but for the moment, I just couldn't bring myself to write about the law when I am literally INUNDATED WITH IT at all times. Saturated. Soggy, if you will, from the law (and I mean in the nasty, fingers are pruny kind of way. Oh God, I'm going to have nightmares about that tonight...). 

Day late and a dollar short...aka: 2011 in retrospect

I realize it has been 2012 for a FULL WEEK. That being said, I really don't give a fuck. I found this online and I liked it, and my blawgs can't always be about the legal community (otherwise I would probably shoot myself). It's a quiz about 2011 and, being that I like self-reflection ever so often, I figured I could do it and give everyone a little bit of insight regarding my previous year and aspirations for this one. Here goes....

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

I interned at my first legal job. It's really hard finding a job in this economy, and even though this wasn't paying, it was still the legal jackpot as far as I'm concerned. AND I LOVED IT. 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 

I didn't make any resolutions last year. This year, I did. They are mostly all job-hunting related, along with a few lax promises regarding taking care of myself better. We'll see how that fares. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No. 

4. Did anyone close to you die?

I'm not sure how close of a relationship this entails, but one of my mother's best friends, a woman I've known since childhood, died due to long-existing complications resulting from diabetes. She was an incredible woman and one I fondly remember. 

5. What countries did you visit?

Unfortunately, none.  I stayed in 'Merca, by God. 

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

I would like to have a job, or even job prospects. I would like to have a house with a backyard for my dog to play in (I don't care if it's a rental). And I'd like to have my diploma, thankyouverymuch.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don't remember dates; I remember moments. I'll remember my time at my internship, the seven hour winter car ride up to my apartment with my 10 year old brother, my birthday with my friends, and the awesome vacation I took with Leonidas. :) 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I didn't get sick even ONCE this past semester. (It's the little things--and I sound kinda pathetic right here.) 

9. What was your biggest failure?

Time management. I need to work on that...like, a lot. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I got a few colds in the 2011 spring semester. I also twisted my ankle playing a contact sport (like an idiot....I've the most clumsy person you've EVER MET in your entire life) and spent a few days on crutches.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I'd say my bike, but it was a birthday present. So here I go again sounding pathetic: I bought one of those pillows with the arms that you use to sit up in bed. I've been wanting one for years because I hate working at my desk and it is AWESOME. I'm so sad I didn't purchase it sooner. 

12. Where did most of your money go?

Most of it went to rent, bills, and my dog. Oh, and groceries. 

13. What did you get really excited about?

My trip to Orlando with my boyfriend. 

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?

No one song really sticks out from 2011, which is strange because I normally have one. 

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder?  I'm pretty much the same. I guess I'm more excited because I have a lot to look forward to. 
Thinner or fatter? Same.
Richer or poorer? Poorer. Job hunting is a bitch. An expensive bitch. 

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

More cooking at home and hanging out with my friends and family. 

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Obsessing over small things. 

18. How did you spend Christmas?

I spent it with my family at my apartment. :)

19. What was your favorite TV program?

Discovering "The Big Bang Theory" at the end of the year was awesome. 

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

I didn't get to read as much as I would have liked, but I probably enjoyed "The Help" the most of all the books I did read. 

21. What was your favorite music from this year?
I listened to a lot of Glee.
22. What were your favorite films of the year?

Harry Potter 7, second movie. It was badasstastic. 

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Celebrated it with my friends at school and with my boyfriend at my favorite restaurant. 

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A job offer. 

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Is hobo-chic a fashion concept? If not, then "rolled out of bed and went to class" MUST be. 

26. What kept you sane?

My boyfriend and friends. Not my family, because they do not know what sanity is. 

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
I learned the value in trusting in myself. Although I regularly do so, an authority figure in my life discouraged me from doing this, and later beat me up for not doing it. Because of this, I'm stronger, wiser, and a little bit more wary. 

Great loves (or, YOU DON'T KNOW ME!)

Everyone has their own quirks and idiosyncrasies, particularly when it comes to things they like. I am no exception, although my gleefulness when I encounter one of my favorite things may rival that of a child on Christmas day, while simultaneously coming across as weird. Really weird. One of my favorite things is the first day of school, particularly when I was younger, because it always smelled different. And we had to wake up early when we weren't used to it, so it felt different too. And because I got fresh school supplies.

To this day, I love looking at a fresh sheet of paper, just ready for my writing. Same goes with index cards. And brand new planners. 

I love anything that comes in the mail. My boyfriend (Leonidas) thinks my obsession with checking the mail every single day (and sometimes, admittedly, twice a day) goes beyond the scope of normal behavior. I say, WHO CARES? (And I absolutely love bubble wrap that packages are wrapped in. I'm six years old. And what???) This may also be attributed to the fact that Maxine eschews checking the mail, and I could have had TONS of mail just sitting in our PO box, just gathering dust. Gah.

I love new mascara. Something about taking the brand new wand out and putting on that fresh coat....oh yes. Same with most new makeup, really (but mascara is seriously the best). Hair products are in this same category. I just want to go home and use them. 

New books that haven't been cracked yet, especially when they are leather. Especially not when they are legal related. 

Chips and salsa from a particular Mexican place in town, which has precisely the right amount of cilantro in the recipe. Oooh, and mixing queso with the salsa in a separate bowl (which Leonidas finds repulsive).

Printing out papers and stapling them and having them so fresh and so clean-clean. 

One of my most favoritest things in the entire world? FALL. Growing up in the deep south, I never experienced seasons like we do up here. Our leaves didn't slowly change colors. You just woke up one morning and they were all shriveled up and dead on the ground. I love cold weather. AND TURTLENECKS! (I don't know what my obsession with turtlenecks is, other than when I was young and my family was poor thrifty, we would get the 3/$30 deal from the Penny's catalog in all different color turtlenecks. And I thought I was the SHIT. And a few years, I demanded and received penny loafers. To this day, I still love penny loafers. Maybe that should have been my mom's clue I was to someday become a lawyer.) And I love that first day when you wake up and go outside and your breath fogs! It's delicious.

I know I mostly do legal stuff. And perhaps the next one I write about will be what I love about the law. But I don't think it will make me as happy, as the list is shorter. And comes with all kinds of qualifiers. 

Right now, I'm just content with listing the things that make me unabashedly, unqualifiedly happy to be alive.

Because sometimes, they can seem worlds away. Which is just ridiculous.

The Story of Crackers

My dog is my best friend. She snores to remind me I'm not in the house alone. She growls when someone she doesn't trust comes near me. And she inexplicably hates sorority girls, particularly in large groups. We're almost the same person.

My boyfriend found Crackers on the side of the road one night while cruising at high speeds during a "break" from work (aka: he excused himself from work and decided to go for a joy ride). She ran out in front of his car not once, but TWICE. And then he put her in his sports car (his baby, honestly), where she promptly pissed in the seat....because she, like me, probably had no idea what to do in a car with leather seats. (And of course the logical thing is pissing in it, am I right?!?)

I'll still remember when he woke me up at three in the morning, standing in the doorway of my room, with a dog in his arms. He looked helpless. The dog looked pitiful. And I thought I was hallucinating. I'm pretty sure I said something like "You've GOT to be kidding me." And the rest of the night, we slept on the couch with the dog beside us, stirring at every noise because I was afraid she was going to give my carpet the sports car "treatment."

We found her a home with one of Leonidas' friends, and I should have known better, because he (and I quote) "expected him {his DOG} to train the new addition" to their family. I got Crackers back after three weeks, because they couldn't handle her.

In that time, they did nothing to help the few things already wrong with her, and added a few new problems to the mix. She had a rub mark two inches wide on her neck from when we found her--left untreated, of course. She had a fly lay eggs in her nose, which got infected while in their care. She picked up worms in their backyard (ew, ew, EWWWWWW). They had done nothing about her "heat spots" (aka: bald patches), and had not taken her to a vet for her vaccinations or to be spayed. Then they gave her back to us, because she pooped in their floor. Keep in mind, she was a six month old puppy who hadn't received any training from them because they were stupid enough to think their fucking DOG would do it. They left her outside most the time. At night, they locked her in a cage in the garage (while their other dog slept in their bed).

So poor Crackers returned to me. And for the first few months, it was difficult. House and kennel training a dog are never easy. She sheds more than a dog EVER should. As I said before, she snores....loudly at times. She wakes me up at seven o'clock every morning whining because she's hungry and has to be fed immediately. Last night, she woke me up at two because she was hungry then and I hallucinated it to be seven o'clock. She's about five pounds overweight, even though we go on two mile runs all the time. Once, she jumped out of the car window....while it was moving.

But she also curls into a little ball at the back of my knees while I sleep. And she cuddles with me when I'm sick. And keeps my feet warm in the winter. She listens when I'm bitching, and doesn't judge me. She eats bugs. She keeps my kitchen floor clean.

And she lets me hold her like a baby when I feel like crap. All fifty pounds of her.

All things considered, she's pretty awesome.

And I'm pretty lucky.

Advice for incoming 1Ls....

You're going to get a long list of things you should do when you enter law school. I figured you'd need a list of things you should NOT do upon entering law school.

1) Do not hook up with anyone at the law school for at least three months. I've never eaten at the proverbial place where I shit, so to speak. That doesn't mean some people don't. If you are considering doing this, wait at least three months for the "new" sheen to wear off and allow you to see most of your legal cohorts for what they are....assholes who will most likely tell of your lack of bedroom prowess while getting sloppy drunk then calling you from the bar to pick him/her up for a little late night (shitty) bootay. Refrain. People like to gossip in law school....in fact, they act worse than middle schoolers. Except now, instead of hearing how Suzy likes Johnny, you are overhearing stories about Stacey's mismatched boobs and affinity for cracking a (non-proverbial) whip over the backs of unsuspecting 1Ls. Don't be a Stacey, people.

2) Do NOT run out and buy every single casebook on your reading list (especially at the bookstore). A lot of people would do a heck of a lot better in classes if they set aside some money for Emanuel's Crunchtime rather than that 200 dollar casebook they haven't touched all semester. Be honest with yourself....are you even going to show up to classes? If the answer is maybe, then speak to some upperclassmen, ask them if the professor even expects you to read or mostly lectures the entire time, then get some tips as to the best study guide for the class. While you're at it, ask for someone's old notes.

3) Do not outline....if it's not for you. Not everyone is an outliner. I am one of those people who would rather jump off a building rather than outline (and who gets about the same studying effect out of the two). Some people like to organize their notes in outline form. Some like to make flashcards. Some have photographic memories. Those with the photographic memories can fuck themselves. Everyone else....find out what works for you. Outlines (as hyped as they are) may not be the answer.

4) Do not be afraid to ask a question in class. I don't give two flying rat turds about being called a gunner. If asking a sincere question about something (if you HAVE READ...if you haven't, assume it's in the material, scan the material, then ask after class because otherwise, your classmates will --rightly-- want to pop a cap in your ass) qualifies you as a gunner, then so be it. That being said, don't ask a question that rephrases the last thing the professor said in hopes of making yourself look good to the professor. It makes you look like a tool.

5) Do NOT get shitty drunk at the first bar review. Without fail, at least one 1L gets a DWI after my school's first bar review. A few years ago, a person got one on a moped. Don't be that person (because you'll be remembered, but not in a good way. Maybe in an epic way, but trust me, you don't want to be the moped guy).

6) In fact, DO NOT drink and drive at all. There's another person I know that supposedly hit a police cruiser on her way back from the bar. Another person I know had a breathalyzer in his truck. And yet another had to ask everyone for rides because he had no license due to DUIs. This sucks, you have to divulge it to the Bar and future employers, and it shows up in a background scan. Plus your pictures are in the police database. And if you think those pictures don't circulate....think again. I know many people who have made them their computer's backgrounds.

7) Do not rely on other people's outlines to get a good grade in a class. People make outlines to retain information. You reading an outline may help a bit, but putting in the time to make that outline was what earned that person the A in the class. Don't kid yourself.

8) Don't expect to be one of the few A's in the class. At my school, we are graded on a B- curve. This sucks, because it means A's are in short abundance (and that our GPA averages are lower than the national average). While it's awesome to aspire to a good grade, just remember there are a lot more B- grades than A's.....and that someone has to be on the bottom of the bell curve.

I've got lots more, but this is probably the best advice I can offer. Have fun, read for class, and make friends outside of law school. Trust me, you'll need them.

I have dubious tastes....but IT'S OKAY

I normally don't do linkups, because I'm not a huge part of the blogging community, being that I'm new and all. However, today, I found one to be worthwhile thanks to Ty and Neely. So without further ado, here it is....

IT'S OKAY.....

to want to dropkick people that have pictures of themselves "planking" (when they really are just laying there like a friggin' piece of wood).

to expect children to say thank you, please, ma'am and sir, and excuse me.

to occasionally eat chocolate for breakfast....

that you were 23 before you properly learned to spell the word "judgment".... (and it took law school to do it).

when it storms....and you just washed your car....by hand....

to wish really bad Karma on really bad people under your breath.

to delete people from Facebook on the basis that they don't know the difference between your/you're; two/to/too; and their/there/they're...

to have 19 little black dresses hanging in your closet...

to laugh at your own jokes.

to spend all day watching Law and Order, SVU marathons....(have I mentioned they are ALL on Netflix?!!??!?!)

to not bathe because you're watching a marathon of Law and Order, SVU marathons and you can't shower fast enough to do it in a commercial break....

to secretly like the song "Chicken Fried."

to want to grow up to be a movie star AND a lawyer.

Conservative upbringing, liberal application, moderate success

I grew up in the deep south, where most people I know consider "liberal" to be a dirty word (including my father, Danny, although I won't go into that). I was raised in the Baptist church, largely synonymous with Bible-thumping, brimstone preaching, and evangelical savings in the summer. I was dunked in eighth grade, STILL have t-shirts with my 6-year old handprints on it from Vacation Bible School, and drew the line in the sand regarding racism prevalent in our youth group in ninth grade. My parents brought me up in a small town, and I had the same elementary teachers as my father. My hometown, to this day, celebrates a Civil War reenactment once a year where men march for 20 miles to get to the battle field, ride horses while shooting pretend guns, and blow up the pond (rain or shine). I have gotten lost in the woods in my backyard, had poison ivy more times than I could count, and nursed baby animals back to health with my parents' help. I've gotten my ass whooped by my parents (who didn't pretend that this was going to hurt them more than it was going to hurt me), and on occasion, had to pick out Cyd's switch while he picked out mine after particularly nasty rounds of fisticuffs. I grew up with everyone knowing my name, in a tolerant family who didn't use race as a determinative factor of character, and will be the first lawyer in my entire family.

I'm proud of my roots, and I carry a lot of the same views as my parents. However, some of my views are inherently different than theirs, though we try not to hold it against each other. My dad and I, for the sake of not fighting, do not argue about religion or politics, because nothing good will ever come out of it (Danny is a birther, and apparently thinks Obama is from Africa, even after the "fake" birth certificate was released--not going to touch that with a ten foot pole). I didn't vote for Obama...I'm more of a Hillary kind of person, myself, which my dad will never.ever.get. My mother is more liberal than my father, but still drives me crazy because she doesn't believe in donating her organs because they might kill her for her body parts (and always thinks she's right, but again, not going to touch that). Regardless, I'm thankful for them allowing me to make my own decisions and form my own viewpoints, which is more than most kids have going for them.

I began this particular blog to discuss the issue of marriage, but instead, I think I'm going to use it as a prologue for the next couple of days' entries. I'll use it to preface my thoughts regarding a few different topics I believe in, and let it stand as is.

Unlike many moderates/liberals, I'm not ashamed of my conservative background. I may not be jumping on a tea party bandwagon, but I definitely think there's a lot to be learned from either side of the party lines, and am glad I was raised with an open mind and the chance to cut past the partisan bullshit. It's important to have a dialogue in order to grow, and I have the chance to engage in that dialogue every time I go home.

Thanks, Danny and Maxine, even if I sometimes think you're kinda crazy.

Hypocrite

I am a hypocritical blogger...that is to say, until now, I read certain blogs (aka: also known as stalking someone else's blog) and am always disappointed when they haven't updated, because these people are funny and have far more interesting lives than I do. But....I don't blog myself. This is why I've decided to actually start blogging, even if it's on the mundane things happening in my life at the moment. I've chosen anonymity because it seems like the thing to do for the time being (especially considering how boring I am). And perhaps, one day, I will not blog anonymously.

I do attend law school, where I'm apparently the antithesis of Charlie Sheen. That is to say I'm bi-losing. I'm losing here; I'm losing there. But I'd argue that there is no winning in law school. No one emerges victorious. Most graduate with heaping amounts of debt with a career in which they have no interest that they chose to pursue for (in most cases) one of two reasons:

1) They didn't want to get a "real job."
2) They thought they'd have a lucrative career in the legal profession.

I'm in the third category, which is perhaps the naive, laughable division, although I'd argue it's no more naive than expecting to make 120K per year after graduating law school:

3) I actually like the study of law and want to use my degree to help others.

That's not to say I don't find parts of the law extremely discouraging, ridiculous, or even hilarious at times.

As far as my personal life, it's varied, unpredictable, and sometimes downright bizarre. Eventually I will get into those things, but I don't want to unload the cray-cray in my first blog post. I'll save that for later.

Dr. Juris (eventually)