Texas Bar Examination...The Final Chapter

I sat down to write this post while the news was still fresh, but had technical problems that forced me to abandon the blog for a bit (aka: my computer hates how I treat it and went on strike). As such, you're going to have to get my stale recollection of Thursday instead.

To start at the beginning: Texas Bar Exam results were slated to be released on 5/3/2013, but everyone told me they like to release a day early around lunch time.

Let's just say that on Thursday, I woke up in a tizzy and didn't get much more tolerable as the minutes (slowly) ticked by. I opened the bar exam page around 9:00 and started refreshing every twenty minutes or so while trying to keep myself busy in the meantime. I pace when I'm nervous, and sound more wheezy than normal (which, for an asthmatic, that's saying something)....I tend to hover around "hyperventilating" when I'm anticipating something.

Pretty much....

Needless to say, my mother wasn't amused. I somehow managed to not freak out until about eleven thirty, at which time I started clicking a lot more frequently. And after 12:00 rolled around and I didn't have scores, it commenced at ten second intervals. By 12:30, I was frantic. But results were still not forthcoming.

By that time, my mom had had enough. She loaded me up in the car and we headed to the nearest Mexican restaurant, where I promptly knocked back two margaritas (on the rocks, with light rocks...a GENIUS idea that makes you look like a true alcoholic) and FORGOT all about the bar examination.

Get your VITAMEATABAREXAM here!!!!!

It wasn't until my ride home, where I was literally laid across the back seat of the car (at 2:30 in the afternoon, which technically sounds early, but actually means that I had been waiting for three hours by this point) that I got a text from a friend with the link to the results and the words "Uh, I don't know..." that it all came flooding back to me. With as much trepidation as I could manage in my inebriated condition, I scrolled down through the results and LANDED ON MY NAME. My mom thought I was having a seizure in the backseat. I'm not exaggerating when I say I started kicking the roof and rolling around like a Pentecostal preacher at a revival. (I'll let you savor that picture for a moment.) After that, I took one of the most fulfilling naps I've ever had in my life. No lie. Because that's how I roll.

I'm now certified in two states, but unemployed. But still....LICENSED. I'd like to thank everyone for their support and congratulations, for putting up with me, and especially my boyfriend for not only having the faith to fund me on this endeavor, but for also giving up tons of fun time with me (snort) so that I could study and prepare. I have to say, I'm pretty damn proud of myself too, because I studied for this on my own, and honestly didn't think I'd have either the stamina or the dedication to actually pass the damn thing. Guess I can even prove myself wrong sometimes.

Congrats to everyone who passed, good luck to anyone who is taking it again (because, let's not lie, the TBE FRIGGIN SUCKED AND ANYONE CAN FORESEEABLY FAIL IT), and most of all:

(What? Like you're really surprised I used this gif? As if....)

First day back to the grindstone....Or, my foray into patent bar studies

I've officially begun studying for the Patent Bar Exam....cue the twilight zone music.

It basically consists of me taking all of my stuff to the local university library (which has the most RIDICULOUS hours I've ever heard of...I mean, not open on Saturdays? REALLY?!?!). When I get there, I have to pop in a CD that goes over each phase of the Patent Bar--there are 36 CDs...and I effectively waited long enough that I'm going to have to supplement it with ADDITIONAL information regarding the newly introduced "first to file" legislation that isn't part of my study program. ::womp womp::

The good news is that I'm through 2 of the 36 CDs. The bad news is that means I have 34 CDs left. However, unlike having 50 gazillion pounds of Barbri books to cart around (like I'm used to), here I have several sleeves of CDs, three (very thin) booklets, and a 1 inch 3 ring binder. If nothing else, my back will be a lot happier with this bar studying attempt.

I have to admit that it feels good to be studying for something and to have another goal. AND I'll be told as soon as I'm finished with the Patent Bar Exam whether I passed or failed. None of this "wait two months and see!" hullabaloo (also, FYI, Texas posts results in 15 days....pardon me while I go throw up).

Screw you Texas, I've already got an award...er, bar license.

Summary of the Texas Bar Exam and a comparison

When I came back home from the bar exam, I slept a total of 3 hours that night. And my mom told me the following morning that I was whimpering in my sleep...like a fucking puppy dog. 

This will be the second bar exam I've lived through, and I'll be the first to tell you that Texas was infinitely harder than my first exam--I think this is a combination of the fact that I had an actual Barbri class to attend while studying for Arkansas, as well as the fact that Texas-specific essays made me want to jump off a building (Arkansas only has 6 essays, and they're multistate, not specific). I also don't think that the fact that I already have a law license helped either--the pressure to pass is NOT the same and the fear of failure is somewhat lessened, because...well, you've already passed once. And I'm not sure about you, but I thrive on fear of failure. 

Texas was also a lot different in terms of security--they wouldn't even let you have WATER bottles in the room, and I felt constantly dehydrated as a result (because even though they offered you water, who the hell is REALLY going to leave the room just to get a sip of water? Absolutely stupid). Arkansas tested in a hotel; Texas set us up in an arena. We were allowed to have bookbags in our testing room in Arkansas. Texas required you to have your ID and exam ticket out at all times and got twitchy about just about everything. 

And then there is the exam itself. Although I somehow managed to control myself enough to refrain from pissing in a Ziploc bag (seriously, who the fuck does that?!?!?!?), I'm not going to pretend that the test was easy--I felt a lot better about July's MBE set, and the Texas-specific essays made me want to cry. I am thankful about the fact that they tell you what to expect on the exam, but some of the questions were distinctly different than most essays you can imagine or would expect--their oil and gas question wanted you to define terms, rather than analyze facts and reach a conclusion. 

I stayed in the Holiday Inn Express about a mile away, and I think that was a pretty solid decision on my part. It was clean, offered a bar discount, and had coffee available at all times. I wanted to kick some little kid ass for hogging workout equipment (bunch of people there for a friggin boxing tournament for children....who the hell willingly lets their kids beat the shit out of other kids and allows for their children to welcome punches to the face?!!?!.....but I digress) and the hot tub was cold, but the showers were hot, the bed was comfortable, and the location was secure. 

The first day I tested, it was only a half-day and I went straight back to my hotel. The second day I got to meet one of my twitter friends (Zillyyyyy) and she was super nice enough to drive my pitiful ass to the exam (one way streets freak me the fuck out, no lie) and even nicer to let me study in her car between the exams. The third day, I managed to leave and walk a half mile to get a friggin awesome grilled cheese sandwich. This was all good. I also got to meet another twitter friend (Amby) who was sooooo sweet and got me a delightfully awesome bar-taking gift that I lerrved and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

All in all, this post is a clusterfuck of information, misinformation, and unorganized ramblings. I'm still not feeling human yet, despite the fact that I had a few margaritas yesterday and went to bed at 6:30 and slept for 13 hours straight. The bar makes you a horrible fucking person, uses you for a few days, then sends you on your way feeling 30x worse for wear (ooh, if you could have seen some of the people taking the bar--they looked like transients who sought shelter in the arena from the cold). I'm glad I survived, but don't feel especially confident in my attempt to become a Texas lawyer. I'll probably write a post in a couple of days explaining all the things I should have done better (like, oh, I don't know, STUDIED AGENCY) and what I know now that I wished I had known then (like, oh, I don't know, ALL THE TEST QUESTIONS), lol. 

But for now, I'm going to sleep. And hopefully I've gotten past the whimpering stage. I think I'll move into bargaining next. 

Bar Exam Neurosis

Let's be clear: I don't use my blawg to create a persona. I am true to myself, and am perfectly fine being super ridiculous and nerdy and cheesy. 

So I'm gonna drop some truth on you right now: when it comes to test-taking, I am a NEUROTIC BITCH. Not like, oh, kinda crazy and don't bathe when it comes time to take the test. Like, have to regurgitate said test back in my hotel room so I can purge it from my mind forever. 

Yeah, you heard that right. I rewrite all the questions I can remember from the exam. Because I'm fucking crazy. (Although I would rather be crazy than think it's acceptable NOT TO BATHE WHEN I'M GOING TO BE IN PUBLIC.)

Proof is in the (cray) pudding. And my neurosis is especially evident in the fact that no,
you can't read my writing because I resized the photo to prevent such things from happening. 

Today, I managed to remember 94 questions from each session. No, I will not give them to you. No, I do not plan on disseminating them to anyone. I will probably burn them after this fucking bar exam, because really, they serve no purpose to me. They're just the byproduct of mental cleansing. 

And yet, I feel no less crazy now than when I started. 

(Don't judge me.)

(My mother does that enough for the both of us)

Day 1 of TBE in review....

Today was the first (half) day of the Texas Bar Examination. All things considered, I think I did okay. MPT wasn't difficult, only missed a few Texas civ/criminal procedure/evidence questions, and I left 15 minutes early.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), leaving 15 minutes early meant I missed some Texas Bar Exam drama. Apparently one of the test-takers asked to go to the bathroom during the last 15 minutes of the test. This is a no-no (might as well call it that, considering we're being treated like children). No one gets up during the last 15 minutes. No one is allowed to leave. Don't ask me why; it's just how it is.

So this guy throws a hissy and WHIPS OUT HIS DICK AND PISSES IN A ZIPLOC BAG. Yeah, you read that right. He withdrew his penis from his pants and emptied his bladder in the Ziploc he brought his things in. Then he apparently gathered all his shit, tossed that Ziploc on the ground, and peaced out...all during the 15 minute lockdown.

Aside from the obvious lack of social skills that somehow made this guy presume that withdraw his willy in public is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, I think a bigger issue remains....someone has to pick up that bag of piss.

So yeah. All things considered, I wasn't that person. I'm going to deem this day as a win.

(My friend Zilly was a row in front of this guy and saw the piss, and describes it so much better than I. Check out her account of things, INCLUDING HOW SHE WAS ABLE TO SMELL IT, here.)

Bar Card #3: Giveafuck

I've discussed dontgiveafuck before. It's inspired my latest card. Good luck with the final push!

Bar Exam Cards....Second Card

As promised, here is card #2 for all of you studying for the bar (or even considering it, because it's truly preemptive). 

Texas Hunger Games....I mean, Bar Exam

As the days run out, all I can think about is how I'm surely approaching my doom. Which gives rise to some excellent quotes from The Hunger Games:

"Stupid people are dangerous." 

"Here's some advice: stay alive." 

"Aim higher, in case you fall short." 

At any rate, hope you enjoy my little piece of "sunshine," just in time for the Texas Hunger Games Bar Exam. 

"Tick, tock."

Sad, but true....

The problem with having a law license in one jurisdiction while taking the bar exam in another....

Oh? You don't think I'm smart enough to practice in your state?

Motivation....lacking. 

This is your brain, bar exam style...

I'm pretty sure this is self-explanatory. 

(Pray to the merciful 6 lb, 8 oz. baby lord Jesus for my everloving soul....)

We're alllll gonnnnna diiieeee (or: a bar exam update)

You know that point where it hits you that a HUGEMONGEOUS deadline is approaching and you are sitting there with your thumb up your ass and not a clue in the world with regards to the impending sucktasticness?

I'm there. 

I have 34 days to cram for the Texas bar examination, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail. I have no friggin idea what I'm doing. I have no initiative and I'm wandering around without knowing ANY OF THE LAWS. I *know* that I've done some stuff. But I don't think it's enough. I'm good with Contracts, but how about EVERY OTHER SUBJECT?

So today is the day I freak out, barricade myself in my hidey hole, and make suitable plans to study in remote locations where no one can find me.

All the while clutching my stomach, rocking from side to side, and murmuring about how I've been forsaken by my brain. And how WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE......

You tell em, Katniss. 

God help me.

Week 7 Schedule...TBE

Today is the first day I start realllllly hitting the ole books hard. I've posted a schedule for this week (7 weeks out) below, and I hope to stick to it. I've allowed myself one free day (Sunday) during which I'll either do nothing or use it to catch up on shit I've not done during the week.

If you'll notice, my schedule isn't nearly as terrifying as Barbri's. That's because I actually want to accomplish it. I've added supplemental in case I finish my daily grind, but that's not required.


Hope it may help you, if you're departing upon this journey by yourself as well.

Happy Monday.

Plan of attack for Texas Bar studying--where I stand, where I want to go #1

As I prepare by myself for the bar examination, I've pledged to update y'all on my blawg as to how I'm studying, what I'm doing, and my plans for the future. Here is a breakdown of the examination and a written analysis of what I've set out to do.....

Texas Essays: 

There are twelve Texas-specific essays (2 Real Property, 2 Business Administrations, 2 UCC, 2 Family Law, 2 Wills and Estates, 1 Trusts OR Guardianship, 1 Consumer Law, w/ crossover topics of Federal Income Tax and Bankruptcy). I've already retyped the notes for Agency, Bankruptcy, Commercial Paper, Civ Pro, Community Property, Consumer Law, Family Law, Federal Income Tax, and Oil and Gas. I'm working on Trusts at this moment. 

This means I need to tackle Corporations, Wills, Texas Real Property, Secured Transactions, , and possibly Contracts. I already feel moderately comfortable with Secured Transactions, because I had a friggin awesome teacher for that, and it's a UCC (aka: mostly national standard) topic. 

For this portion, I plan on retyping the notes that will be most helpful to me, which also means I have to go back through during the final week's review and fill everything in, which will function as a great refresher. For the subjects I feel less strong with regard to or which do no lend themselves to effective outlining, I plan to chart. The next couple of weeks, I'll finish reviewing these subjects, then circle back and start charting some more, plus add in actual essay practice. I'll probably begin essay practice in two weeks. 

MBE:

There are six MBE subjects (Contracts, Constitutional Law, Criminal Law, Evidence, Torts, Real Property). I also plan to work six days out of the week. Thus, I will devote myself to one subject per day, particularly with regard to MBE questions, for the first few weeks. Toward the end, of course, I'll swap to varying questions and focus on subjects I am not doing as well in. 

Texas Procedure and Evidence:

Texas P&E has me nervous, but it also only counts for 10% of the exam. As I've said, I've already rewritten Civ Pro, which was 70 pages and killed a piece of my soul, I'm pretty sure. This means I have to go through the Texas Criminal Procedure plus Civil/Criminal Evidence sections with a fine-toothed comb, because I'm not sure of all the differences. I did well with non-specific criminal law and evidence, but I don't want to get stuck because I don't know the distinctions. 

This subject is also much different because it's a short answer portion, which I didn't have on my last bar examination. As such, I have to print out several of the past Texas tests and start quizzing myself on these. I plan to spend two days per week studying and preparing for the P&E. I will begin by going through the notes and either charting or rewriting them (there are LOTS of pages, so I'm not sure how long this will take me), then I will force myself to take an entire 90 minute practice conditions exam, grade it, then focus where I obviously know jackshit. 

MPT:

This section is also worth 10%. I've already been tested on this on the prior exam, but didn't do as well as I would have liked. I think I may procure a Kaplan book to help prepare, because I've heard that Kaplan really helps in this area moreso than Barbri, and anything that may bring up the score a few points can't be a bad thing. I plan on addressing this subject once a week. 

Ultimately:

I don't feel nearly as nervous as I did, and I attribute that in part to the chart I created acclimating myself with the Texas Bar Examination. (I did a breakdown. I'll attach it on my next blog post.) This helped me visualize the examination, and made it easier to understand which subjects I'm going to need to tackle. In short, it made it seem less insurmountable. 

While I initially thought I was going to do a calendar marking out the next seven weeks, I decided instead to break it down on a weekly basis. On Sundays, I'll analyze my progress, update my blog, and plan out the next week's course of attack. I think this will be more helpful because I won't feel like I'm failing if I spend more time on a subject I really need to address or less on one I find I already know. If you're interested in a blank, fillable study chart, let me know, and I don't mind sending it to you. 

Adventures in Bar Exam Land

I feel that I've reached an impasse at this point of my bar studying. If you'll recall, I made the decision to study without enlisting the (ridiculously expensive) aid of Barbri, although I was given a full set of Texas Barbri books with which to study by a Twitter friend.

From this point, I proceeded to study throughout December to give myself something to do and so I wouldn't feel rushed about my studies in the new year....which, if you've ever studied for a bar exam, know that's LAUGHABLE. So ha ha ha to me.

As of now, I've finished retyping 8 out of 20 handouts; the subjects I've already tackled are Agency/Partnership, Bankruptcy, Texas Civ Pro, Commercial Paper, Community Property, Consumer Law, Federal Income Tax, and Oil & Gas. This leaves me with a shitton more to finish, and the slightly panicky feeling no one likes to have but most associate with impending bar examinations.

It's at this juncture that I need to seriously ask myself how much I'm learning by retyping. I think I've learned quite a lot, and I'm going to have to go through everything again and fill in the blanks, which isn't that big of a deal and which will definitely help to jog my memory. It's also helpful to retype because it ensures I've seen it at least once. However, I know I'm a charts person, and I passed my last bar examination largely in part due to my incessant charting. On the other hand, I also had lecturers last time, which assisted me in tackling what I'm now attempting to retype because I was guaranteed to HEAR everything at least once.

Today is the day I lay out the next eight weeks of my life in a calendar to keep myself accountable and so I can minimize my feelings of extreme malaise and discomfiture. So, I guess my ultimate decision is how I want to approach the bar exam from this point forward. Do I want to finish typing ALL of the handouts? (I have 700 pages left.) Do I want to try to read them and see how much I retain? Which subjects do I want to chart?

Regardless, I went ahead and made myself a breakdown of the Texas bar examination, including what all is on the essay, the percentage each portion is worth (in lovely pie chart form), and what to expect on each section. After I finish my calendar (likely tomorrow), I will post that . And I'm thinking of documenting either in daily form or weekly form what I've been doing by myself to get prepared for the barf exam. :)

What do Y'ALL think?

Thursday Morning Lameness

I've been studying Oil and Gas for the Texas Bar Exam. Since I didn't take this course in law school, and since I also wasn't tested on it on my previous bar, it's kinda new to me. Something that particular sticks with me is Texas's interpretation of the open mines doctrine. That lease better never expire, because then you're fucked, life tenant. 

Oh look, it's Ryan Gosling.

Happy Thursday (for what it's worth).

Texas Bar Examination update

Update on Texas Bar Examination:

1. Please don't forget to send in your letters of good standing. ::facepalm::

2. Also, don't forget to send in your MPRE results. (Goodbye, $25...)

3. I somehow forgot to sign a notarized document in the Texas Bar Exam packet. Like, it was notarized, but I just didn't sign it. (What the hell is wrong with me?!!?!?)

4. Can I restate how amazing my Twitter community is? Particularly Adamdm4, who sent me his Barbri books to study with. :)

5. Though I've had my mess-ups along the way, Texas has been extremely nice throughout the entire application process, so there IS that....

6. I've been retyping the lecture handouts with blanks to fill in with my own handwriting, which is a long and arduous task that I'm afraid I am going to give up soon....

7. But I've made it through Agency/Partnership. And Bankruptcy. And Texas Civil Procedure. :) This is good, no? 

8. On the other hand, that means I've completed ~100 pages. Out of the phonebook that is Barbri.

::gulp::

9. Today I'm focusing on Federal Income Taxation. Then I might reward myself with some Criminal Law review. I'm such a rebel.

10. I've officially got all of my Texas documents turned in. Now....we wait. (And rejoice.)

Another blog about nothing....

It seems like every time I sit down to write, either (a) I have nothing relevant to say, (b) I see something shiny, or (c) I end up deleting everything because I think it sounds dumb. I still have a second blog to write about whether or not new attorneys qualify for the patent exam, then the followups regarding HOW to apply (spoiler: it's a pain in the ass) and my plans of attack after I send mine in (it's finished, but money is tight). I've also been contemplating blogging daily about my prep for the Texas bar exam, which may serve as a "what not to do" in the end (although I don't plan on failing it--but then again, who does?). Since I have recently applied for another spate of jobs, I'm sure I could always finangle a blog out regarding how my life sucks because I'm unemployed, living at my parents' house, and have enough rejection letters to paper our living room with (no, but really, I do, and for some unknown God-awful reason, I KEEP them. All of them.).

Which leads me to my post today. I don't think y'all want to hear another whiny blog about unemployment. And my life isn't particularly interesting at the moment, although I find enough things to keep me entertained (namely, my 11 year old brother). I'm pretty sure y'all don't care about my eye exam visit (or the fact that I reeeeallly wanted that second pair of frames, BECAUSE THEY ARE CUTE AND I NEED MOAR GLASSES).

I'm also sure you don't care about my health woes or exercise escapades. And a large majority of my blog readers are taking final exams, WHICH SUCK AND I'M SO SORRY YOU'RE HAVING TO DO THAT. (Seriously.) Btw, those of you who find by blog by googling "no friends in law school"--your day will come, but for real, most of those guys are assholes, and the majority of my lawyer friends (save for about three) are people I met on twitter, because those guys/gals rock.

So yeah. This is really a blog about nothing. But it kinda feels good to write about nothing.

 (Oh look, grumpy cat hates law school finals too....)

(Or, in my case, studying for the bar....)

At any rate....