Random Comic Thoughts from this Week's titles

Blech. I need a better name for this than that mess. Maybe it should fall under "Things I think About". Oh well. Just some questions and random impressions from the week, now that I got that whole "mutant" thing out of my system:

1) I'm worried Starfire won't survive Infinite Crisis. I glanced through what I think was the most recent Outsiders. Her sister, who I take it doesn't like her any better in the comic than she does in the cartoon, is there, extra powerful and looking unfriendly. I hope I'm wrong, because I would really like to see Starfire in Teen Titans when One Year Later kicks off. Nightwing doesn't seem to be in a bad place (at least if IC is to be believed) and that was the whole reason she left the Titans, to keep an eye on him. I guess I'm just paranoid. I start thinking Batgirl might be OK, so now I'm thinking "Which other character I like is DC gonna take instead?"

2) If Cassandra Cain is a living member of the Birds of Prey at the start of OYL, I will buy the title regardless of quality. Come on Didio, I'm not asking for her to still be Batgirl (though I ask why she couldn't be), just that she still be alive. Work with me here!

As for books I actually bought:

Robin #146: What was with those sores on Conner's body? I can't figure his body would start devouring itself in select circular patterns here and there, though it is better for him than his body eating his own heart.

Robin mentioned a program he made that determines how difficult a place is to break into, on a scale of 10. There were 3 tens: The JLA Watchtower (oops, never mind), something in Washington D.C., and something that moves, and was in Coast City at that moment. What is the thing that keeps moving?

Ultimate Spider-Man #89: Is there a reason to have S.H.I.E.L.D. except as cannon fodder? I mean, they are constantly getting shown up. If it isn't six of Spidey's enemies escaping from a prison designed to hold them, it's Norman Osborn managing to hide Harry's "abilities" from the lab guys. Or it's Magneto escaping, or anything that's happening in The Ultimates. I know I said it when I reviewed this book, but I do not feel confident in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s ability to stop Gah'Lak'Tus.

Exiles #76: Should I be expecting the Dr. Doom of 2099 to catch up to and absorb Proteus' abilities at some point? Doom stole the Beyonder's power, and compared to that Proteus is like a firecracker.

New Avengers #15: Would Jameson really have broken his word like that? Saying he will ease off Spidey for exclusive access, then turning around and broadcasting that arrangement to the world.

I mean he lied to CAPTAIN AMERICA! Isn't that considered treason?

Also, doesn't this mean Joe Robertson quit? He told JJJ, 'Say yes or I quit.' Jonah ended up going back on the deal, so I guess Robbie has some people offering him jobs now. Good, now let's see the Bugle fall apart, and Jonah have to crawl to get Robbie back.

And really, why can't Warbird be on the Avengers? I mean, besides Cap, Iron Man, and I would say Spidey, none of the others have proven themselves as much as her. That includes Luke and Jessica, and I'm really glad they're on the team.

Spider-Man and the Black Cat #6: One more time, why did Kevin Smith add rape into Felicia's origin? I would say that when a book is as late as this one has been that your goal should be to take what Chris has described as the Geoff Johns approach: comfort food. Don't go for the home run, just give the fans what they want. Some fighting, the hero wins, his friend is safe, maybe she gets to do some ass-kicking too. Just a simple superhero story. Do NOT add elements of rape to a story that didn't need it!

Wolverine #38: I'm sorry, was there anything to this issue?

Amazing Spider-Man #528: What was the point of Peter being sick? The first four issues of The Other, they made a big deal about how Peter was sick, and there was nothing anyone could do, in the realm of science of magic, to fix it. He was weaker than normal, and then Morlun attacked, and skin was shed, and Spider-creatures showed up, and it just got dropped.

From a biological standpoint it made sense for Morlun to attack when Peter wasn't at 100%. That's how it works in nature, predators attack the weaker individuals. The young that aren't full-grown, or the old, or the sick, or the injured. But there wasn't any need for that in this story. Morlun showed the first time around he was fully capable of kicking Spidey's ass even if Peter is at full strength. Peter won that fight on a gamble that paid off. The sickness was unnecessary. This one has been bugging me for awhile.

If you have answers to any of these, please help the world (meaning me) to understand.

Fixing New Avengers, Part 3: Who Will Answer the Call, As Long As It Doesn't Come At Dinner?

Seven candidates to fill the roster gaps. There's only one I really feel needs to be on the team, and I'll list him first. After that, I'll just run through the rest, you can tell me what you think.

Thor - Hopefully, that isn't too surprising. He is one of the true Avengers, and he fits the "powerhouse" requirement quite nicely. The problem is Thor brought about Ragnarok during "Disassembled", wiping out all of Asgard, including himself. Screw That! According to Norse mytholgy, a new world is supposed to arise from the remnants of the old, some gods survive, others are reborn, so I figure two ways this can go {Edit 5/6/06: Turns out Thor broke the cycle of destruction and rebirth, and just destroyed everything. Except his hammer.}:

1 - Thor is the same guy he's always been (no Odin powers, no Don Blake alter ego), though perhaps somewhat hardened from surviving Ragnarok. He comes back to Earth to check on his friends, who he hasn't seen for awhile. But the mansion is destroyed, and Thor's not happy about that. And when Thor isn't happy, people will become aware of it. The Avengers respond to a call about Thor, and Cap and Iron Man explain what happened. Thor's a bit shaken, but agrees to work with his friends, to be an Avenger again.

2 - Thor is one of the gods that gets reborn. He may not look like he did (maybe he's a redhead like Norse mythology says he is), and he doesn't remember the Avengers or his times on Earth. He simply travels there, perhaps on a mission from Odin, or just for kicks. Predictably, he's a bit arrogant, loud, pushy, like Namor, only more of a party guy, eating, drinking and hitting on ladies. Inevitably he causes property damage, the cops show up, Thor gets mad, the Avengers show up, Thor trashes them, but their bravery in the face of his power impresses him, and he decides to spend time with them, meaning he hangs with the team and helps in battle. Sometimes. Other times, he's probably busy fighting with Hercules.

Natasha Romanov, Black Widow - She's got some martial arts skills, she's a spy, so she can do the stealth thing. As a secret agent, she's probably had to kill on more than one occasion. She's had contacts internationally with criminal organizations and crime-fighting organizations, having worked for both. She's been an Avenger, even been chairperson for a time. But she might be preferring her time as a freelancer, rather than working with the "costumes" again.

The Black Panther - Stealthy, an excellent fighter, good enough to beat Captain America (technically his father beat Cap, but T'Challa beat his father, and if B > A, and C > B, then T'Challa can whoop Cap's butt). Has an array of interesting stuff in his uniform. Smart, like Tony Stark-level smart, would give the Avengers another techno-brain to pick when necessary. Oh yeah, he's the king of the most advanced technological civilization on Earth, meaning the Avengers could have some serious tech support if needed. The downside is he's the king of a nation that apparently has enemies, and so he might be needed in Wakanda too much to do the Avenger thing.

Danny Rand, aka Iron Fist - I'm sure some people are saying "Wow Luke Cage and Iron Fist. How original." But given they just found out Jessica Drew has been playing double agent, wouldn't it be good to add an Avenger you know you can trust (Widow's loyalties can be ambiguous, and T'Challa went the Batman route of collecting information on his teammates, just in case)? He's got the requisite martial arts skills, and though I've got no evidence to back it up, I'm betting that 'iron fist' is strong enough to tear through Iron Man's armor, or at least damage it, so he's no prancing lightweight. That's right I said prancing. He might want to work on the outfit though.

Dr. Strange - Now add him and Thor to the team, and you're talking some serious firepower. Stephen Strange is the Master of the Mystic Arts, one of the most powerful beings on Earth. He would give the Avengers someone with mystical knowledge, which they lack, he was a surgeon, so he could probably operate as sort of a field medic as necessary, he's done the team bit before, and this time wouldn't have teammates who can't stand each other (The Defenders), and he has something to prove. See, Strange blames himself for everything that Wanda did during House of M, since it's precisely the sort of thing he's supposed to defend the Earth against. Now he could just mope in his house on Bleeker Street, or he could spend all his time poring over arcane texts, gradually cutting himself off from humanity, or he can do the smart thing: Get out there in the world and defend it. By working with the Avengers, he's travels all over the world, and maybe he picks up on a threat that was too distant or too well hidden for him to sense from New York. And now he has backup. Besides, he looks cool.

Marc Spector, Moon Knight - Has been an Avenger, knows how to fight, would be willing to do the killing thing if necessary. The problem is that based on what Quesada said about the Moon Knight book, Spector might be a little too willing to kill, even when it isn't called for (like say the Puppet Master). Also, having dealt with Hank Pym for years, Cap and Tony just may not want to deal with that level of psychological problems, and Spector would fit that bill.

Carol Danvers, aka Warbird - You know, I think I may be the only person out there that likes "Warbird" more than "Ms. Marvel". between Marvel and DC there are just too damn many people with "marvel" in their name. A "warbird" on the other hand, just sounds cool to me. Anyway, former Avenger, friends with Tony Stark (her A.A. sponsor) and Logan, so she'd have both their support, at least. According to Bendis in House of M, Carol wants to be the greatest hero of all. Well, the Avengers is a good place to pursue that goal, since you'll (in theory) be fighting the worst of the worst. She's highly versatile, with flight, super strength, some invulnerability, and energy absorption/controlling powers. She's got contacts within the military, which could come in handy in jurisdictional disputes, and she showed during that huge war with Kang that she'll kill if necessary (I know I keep harping on that point, but that was why Tony thought they needed Logan, because he can kill, so apparently it's very important to the team dynamic). One problem is that New Thunderbolts has been showing Carol and Hank Pym working with Gyrich and Zemo in ordering the T-Bolts to beat down the Avengers, so I'm not sure what's up with her (must be back on the sauce. Ha! You thought I'd make some joke about her period didn't you? Well, I'm not that juvenile.) Still, it's like Dave Campbell at Dave's Long Box said, there's something about a woman in a sash.

Looking it over, it might be that the last two/three roster spots are rotating between who's available and who works for the mission (in other words, if it's stealth call Natasha and T'Challa, not Thor). That's all I got, so comments, questions?

And a big shoutout to Scipio for helping me figure this out. If anyone put an answer in the last post from yesterday thanks for that. I'm just a little slow you know.

Fixing New Avengers: Those Who Still Serve

Before I submitted my picks for roster replacements, I wanted to try and explain why I kept who I did, because I believe the other five members are solid.

Captain America and Iron Man - It's a point that's been made by many people, bloggers and those working in comics alike: you got to have two out of three of Captain America, Iron Man and Thor, or it's not a true Avengers team. So Cap and Ol' Shellhead ain't going anywhere.

Spider-Man - Permit me a rant first. Getting rid of Bendis helps the book in one other way. See he writes this Spider-Man, you know, the Peter Parker who's married, been doing the superhero thing for a decade by my estimate, has seen, fought, experienced everything a hero can over that time, the same way he writes Ultimate Spider-Man, the teen who's had the powers maybe a year and is still equal parts awed and terrified by the crap he gets mixed up in. Ultimate Peter is amazed he fought a guy in a rhino suit; that's old hat for Marvel Peter, and the man has been on the Avengers before, he shouldn't be making with constant nervous chatter! Rant over.

Here's why Spidey works. He's a great weapon. He's got strength, speed, a spider-sense that warns of enemies or traps. He's smart, and in a different way from Stark, who is an engineering, electronics, physics type, whereas Peter is more biology and chemistry. And it's always good to have brains who can bring different approaches to a problem. He has a weapon - web shooters - that have an array of uses (and would have even more if he adopted Ben Reilly's design). He would be perfect for infiltration, in costume or not. He's an average guy so send him in to a situation clothed normally, nobody gives him a second glance. Need him to break into a place? He'll dodge all the security without breaking a sweat. And he can mix it up in a fight. Just ask any of the 500 guys he's beaten over the years.

Spider-Woman and Luke Cage - This ties in to what I feel is a difference between the JLA and the Avengers. The JLA, historically, seems to be the big guns, the truly iconic names getting together for the really huge stuff, and that's it. The Avengers is more of a team for one (they had a mansion, with bedrooms and kitchens, living space. The JLA has a watchtower, sounds like a place you work, period.), but they're also where lesser-known heroes shine. The Ant-Mans (Scott Lang), Jack-of-Hearts, Falcon, Firestar. Those aren't A-listers, but they've all had moments for the Earth's Mightiest. I think it's Luke and Jessica's turns, and they'll step up.

Ok, next post, who I'm adding. I'm sure you can't wait. There will be pictures though. So it'll be prettier.

Fixing New Avengers, Part 2: Pointless Indulgence

Honestly, the main thing New Avengers needs is a better writer. And based on certain factors, for the sake of argument, we're going with Tony Bedard. He writes for Marvel, so clearly no 'exclusive contract with DC' problem occurs. Now we get to a part that's probably less about fixing the book, and more about me having fun, altering the roster. Supposedly this is actually going to happen at issue 15, with most people figuring Spidey and Wolverine are out, having served their purpose in boosting sales. That may be, as long as they don't get replaced by Hank Pym and the Wasp. I can't handle anymore "Hank beats Jan, why is she still with him, what identity will Hank use this week, just how bipolar is he?" I've reached my saturation point with that.

So what, you ask, would I do? Well, I'm dropping three members of the team, and probably pissing off the fans because it's the three characters Bendis has wasted the whole book getting on the team. But here's why I'm dumping each one:

Ronin - To be fair, this isn't my call. Ronin said in issue 13 that she was going back to Japan to keep an eye on the Silver Samurai, so obviously she won't be available the next time Absorbing Man starts tearing up Times Square. So, consider her a reservist, or inactive, or something.

Sentry - Confession time. Silver Age Superman is a major reason why I've hated DC for most of my comic reading life. He was TOO powerful, it was just silly. And as Eric has pointed out, that's really all The Sentry is, he's Silver Age Superman. So if I didn't like the guy in DC, you can imagine how happy I am he's running around in the Marvel Universe. Send him into space, let him fight Celestials or his inner demons. Whatever.

Wolverine - I like Logan, I do. But I think he really works better as a solo character, like he was in his title, wandering around, getting involved in random stuff, occasionally teaming up with a friend like Nightcrawler (or Shadowcat, or Jubilee even). As it is, with the current state of mutants in Marvel, I think Wolvie's going to be too busy on the "X-reservation" to have time for the Avengers. Vaya con dios, Logan.

So, who takes their spots? Well, I have this belief carried over from the sports world, that you have to replace what you've lost when you make a roster change, whether by directly replacing (like replacing a good pass-rushing linebacker with another good pass-rushing linebacker), or some sort of mix and match (replacing that linebacker with an average defensive end and a strong safety you can blitz with. Combined they equal what you lost). So looking at the roster, the Avengers lost a powerhouse, a martial arts/stealth expert, and someone "who was willing to kill if the situation called for it".

Later today, I've six (that's right six!) potential replacements. Be here, or be Avenged! Right now, I got to go Christmas shopping.

Fix New Avengers, Part 1

Ok, as you probably know, there is a very good blog out there called "Comics Should be Good". And they're right, comics should be good. Unfortunately, New Avengers isn't good. And that's a problem because I believe the Avengers are supposed to be the premiere team of the Marvel Universe. They're supposed to be who you call when the big stuff comes down. And Bendis started off well enough, Electro is hired by someone to help a criminal escape from the Raft, a supervillain prison. Wisely he busts everyone out, since that makes it harder to track the true purpose. A bunch of heroes arrive and try to stop the escape, but 45 succeed in breaking out. Captain America realizes they need the Avengers to track them down. And away we go. Unfortunately, Bendis has killed it with his typical slow style, which feels worse in a team book than a solo book, where you could believe one hero might be having a slow day, so let's see their everyday life. The point of a team is they're working together to deal with thtreats, but so far the focus of the book has seemed to be gathering members. The book has had its moments, but it's not as good as it needs to be. What it needs, first and foremost, is someone who can write a good team book.

So assume for a moment I can somehow get Bendis to relinquish the job, while staying on Ultimate Spider-Man (because I like his work on that book, just not New Avengers), who do I replace him with? The guys at the store, Eric and Len, provided two possibilities:

1. Mark Waid. he was the first person I thought of, I loved his work on JLA. I haven't read his Legion of Superheroes, so I don't know if he's still got it, or if he suffered a Liefield-like talent drop. Unfortunately, he has an exclusive DC contract, so unless I can cause some disharmony between the entities (Devin Grayson? I'd be alright bringing her to Marvel, she did a Ghost Rider mini-series a few years ago I thought was ok. And she wouldn't be doing her fangirl stuff on Nightwing, which might be best for both parties). But as that's unlikely, he's probably out of the running. Moving on.

2. Tony Bedard (Exiles and Negation). Len suggested him, and one of the things I liked was Bedard seems to write from a tactical standpoint in battles. Rather than match your hand-to hand fighter with theirs, use your long-range specialist. I've got kind of thing about that, pitting two groups of characters (or just two characters against each other) against each other, and figuring out what would be the best way for each side to win. And Captain America runs the Avengers, so tacitcally they should be good. He's been in wars, he knows how it works. So Bedard sounds intriguing.

So that's what I got. What about you, suggestions?

Correction: Mallet has informed me that Joe Kelly wrote "Obsidian Age", not Mark Waid, so I guess that's a point in favor of Joe Kelly then. And I'll remove that as a reason for Waid from the post above. I still liked Waid's work on JLA, so he's still on my considerations list.