Another blog about nothing....

It seems like every time I sit down to write, either (a) I have nothing relevant to say, (b) I see something shiny, or (c) I end up deleting everything because I think it sounds dumb. I still have a second blog to write about whether or not new attorneys qualify for the patent exam, then the followups regarding HOW to apply (spoiler: it's a pain in the ass) and my plans of attack after I send mine in (it's finished, but money is tight). I've also been contemplating blogging daily about my prep for the Texas bar exam, which may serve as a "what not to do" in the end (although I don't plan on failing it--but then again, who does?). Since I have recently applied for another spate of jobs, I'm sure I could always finangle a blog out regarding how my life sucks because I'm unemployed, living at my parents' house, and have enough rejection letters to paper our living room with (no, but really, I do, and for some unknown God-awful reason, I KEEP them. All of them.).

Which leads me to my post today. I don't think y'all want to hear another whiny blog about unemployment. And my life isn't particularly interesting at the moment, although I find enough things to keep me entertained (namely, my 11 year old brother). I'm pretty sure y'all don't care about my eye exam visit (or the fact that I reeeeallly wanted that second pair of frames, BECAUSE THEY ARE CUTE AND I NEED MOAR GLASSES).

I'm also sure you don't care about my health woes or exercise escapades. And a large majority of my blog readers are taking final exams, WHICH SUCK AND I'M SO SORRY YOU'RE HAVING TO DO THAT. (Seriously.) Btw, those of you who find by blog by googling "no friends in law school"--your day will come, but for real, most of those guys are assholes, and the majority of my lawyer friends (save for about three) are people I met on twitter, because those guys/gals rock.

So yeah. This is really a blog about nothing. But it kinda feels good to write about nothing.

 (Oh look, grumpy cat hates law school finals too....)

(Or, in my case, studying for the bar....)

At any rate....

How to study for your law school finals....charts style

Due to the volume of people who happen upon my blawg while searching for law school charts, I decided I would give a brief tutorial as to how I used to create my charts for law school finals, as well as show you the style in which I drafted them. You're going to have to click these images in order to see the larger size, but it should be suitably ginormous when you do.

If you have ANY questions, please feel free to comment or email me at ms.dr.juris@gmail.com for more information.

More advice for 0L and 1Ls....

I was recently asked by a friend who is applying for law school this next year a multitude of questions about applying for law school, as well as what law school is actually like once you get there. I decided I might as well write a simple (less sarcastic than normal) piece on what I wish I had known when I entered law school and things that people will never tell you or might tell you and you will write off (like I probably did). Hell, I might even save you some money too. I'm sure you'll also read some stuff that you've already heard. Take heed, 0Ls....

1) Take the LSAT any time other than June/October. Preferably the winter A YEAR AND A HALF before you hope to enter law school. The LSAT is scaled, you see, so your scores are directly compared to those students taking it at the same time as you. "Good" law school prospects who do things by the book (and are typically well-prepared and smart) like to take it in June and October, because it's according to the proper timeline. Slackers like to take it in December (and February), so you're scaled against people who might not do as well, because of lack of preparation. Of course, this means you need to be ultra-crazy-ridiculously ahead, but there you have it...

2) Do not buy all your books before you get to school. I have a few books I never opened, because the professors depended on their own powerpoints and absolutely nothing out of the book other than cases (which can be looked up and printed on your own time). Instead, ask some upperclassmen (who are preferably of a prudent nature) which teachers require stringent reading and which are more lax and less likely to use the book.

3) DO NOT buy case briefs. If you have Lexis and Westlaw at your fingertips that will do it for you for free, why the HELL would you consider buying a "guide" that briefs the cases for you? Instead, buy some study aids that explain the subject themselves, because the rules are going to be tested, not the particular cases you studied. I loved Emanuel's Crunchtime for the criminal classes, and In a Nutshell for the more outline-friendly classes (like Con Law and any procedural class). Also as helpful: outlines from students who did well in the class before you, and the professor's own testbanks, which may be provided depending upon which school you attend.

4) 90% of the time, law school is only as hard as you make it. I'm the ridiculous one who liked to participate in the competitions and clinics. This means it was more difficult for me. If you are on law review or aiming for being the top person in your class, law school will probably be more difficult for you. However, law school is only TRULY hard around deadline days. This means deadlines for papers/required oral arguments and for finals. I know some people who never read a friggin case, and they passed. It most certainly was not with flying colors, but the point is that they never broke a sweat and somehow still managed to walk across that stage with the rest of us who had minor breakdowns throughout law school.

5) If you are going to choose a semester to kick some ass and take some names, it had better be your first semester in law school. Plenty of people (ahem: my career services lady in particular) told us the first week that grades are only one thing prospective employers look at when making hiring decisions. Except for your first summer job, when people are making their hiring decisions, it's typically in March. You know...before you get your second semester's worth of grades. And before you can really become active within your school. Or really do anything. So YES, THE FIRST HIRING DECISIONS ARE ALMOST SOLELY BASED UPON YOUR FRIGGIN PERFORMANCE YOUR FIRST SEMESTER. (And who you know. Unfortunately, I know no one.)

I'm keeping it short and sweet, or as short and sweet as I can make it, although if you have any questions, shoot me an email, g-chat me, or just pose it in the comments section of this blog.

Good luck.

Barbri, Day 2

Barbri Day #2 is over, although I do have some "homework" I apparently need to go over. Today was a lot worse than yesterday, namely because it went over Real Property and Contracts, and I very much so suck at both of those subjects....particularly Contracts.

Guy teaching the courses (same guy for both, both on a video) was funny. He reminded me of Louis Black. Without the cussing. Which may have made Contracts a whole lot more fun and memorable, but alas, I'll never know.

However, there are a whole lot of points I think I should make regarding today:

1) There were dramatically fewer people in my class today than yesterday, namely because they figured they could see the same videos from home. I cannot do that because (a) I have the attention span of a gna---oh, wow, look at that shiny object! and (b) I will never get around to watching all the video or take the video seriously when I could be doing a multitude of other, more worthy things (like sleeping, or eating, or sleep-eating).

2) Real Property sucks just as much now as it did 1L year, but Real Estate Transactions played a MUCH larger role in this section than anyone else let on it would. Ergo, I'm thankful I took the latter course, even though I shudder every time I hear the word mortgage.

3) Our class should really devise a system of shutting our books and letting the daily administrator know  when we are finished with our preview test, so we don't spend an extra 15 minutes Facebooking inside a classroom instead of getting out early and Facebooking from the privacy of our own homes.

4) I've GOT to start packing a lunch, because one of these days, I'm not going to be so lucky about snagging a parking spot when I leave and come back to school.

5) Okay, people. We get it. The dude just repeated himself four fucking times. I see how you might think that's funny. Personally, I think you should probably just write it down over and over again, so you might remember it for the Bar. Because, you know, if he's saying it seventeen times, IT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT.

In addition to these notes, I think it's fair to say that this course is pretty damn good. I'm learning a lot, and even though I emerge each day with a headache, I figure I'm getting my money's worth. I've also taken up bicycling again (8.5 miles today) to deal with the stress of studying, and also so I can look decent in a majorly fucking hot swimsuit I plan on wearing at the end of the summer.

Is anyone else taking Barbri? What do y'all think of it so far?

Barbri, Day 1

1) Barbri started today. This means I get to officially learn what's actually *relevant* for the Bar....since the past three years have apparently MEANT NOTHING.

2) We started off with a Torts practice exam. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

3) To the douche sitting behind me: BURN. No, really. I'm tired of you already being a douchebag, particularly since we're only one hour into the effing course.

4) It's a beautiful day outside. And I wish I were floating in a pool somewhere, tanning my pasty white legs (who am I kidding? They would burn in a heartbeat).

5) Happy birthday to my fantastic boyfriend, who is now a quarter of a century old.

I'd like to rearrange...your face

Things that really bother me while taking final exams:

1) Deep sighing
2) Vibrating phones (turn those bitches OFF)
3) Loud typing--is it necessary to batter your computer?
4) People that leave 40 minutes into exam (and it's three hours long)
5) Going blank (this one's totally on me--fault completely my own)
6) Rustling food bags--open it, get it over with, and for the love of God, please don't smack
7) Tapping and other random bodily twitches
8) People that make a big deal about leaving the room or asking a teacher a question
9) People who are apparently too stupid to quietly pack up their shit to leave

10) AND YOU, MOTHERFUCKER, slurping your goddamn Route 44 drink, WHEN IT'S OBVIOUSLY FUCKING EMPTY. 

I hope you fail....

I hope your girlfriend breaks up with you....

I hope you're diagnosed with a condition that makes it impossible to drink from a fucking straw. 

Sometimes I amaze myself...

So I learned how to make gifs....and I was like

There goes my studying....

The Eager Beaver

It is my fondest wish that people who do this:

A. Go color blind
B. Fall off a cliff
C. Break both hands in a tragic chainsaw competition accident
D. Flunk their patent law test
E. All of the above

See how I highlighted JUST ONE THING? Because everything highlighted=nothing highlighted.

Moron.

Law School Exam--A student's imminent domain

Every law student I know has a specific study style, but almost all of them I know do some of the following shit during final exams, and almost certainly has a setup during said exam that looks strikingly similar to the one I've shown below. Allow me to guide you through the preparatory setup of a law school exam.

A:  the last chance at a hot drink before your final begins. At best, your Starbucks is lukewarm, and all the caffeine has rendered your tastebuds nil, but you've somehow convinced yourself that this caramel macchiato is going to give you that boost you need to succeed. (Good luck with that)

B:  your trusty laptop, which is probably on its last legs of life since you've inadvertently spilled yesterday's Starbucks on it. Watch for this awesome machine to suddenly shit out on you in the middle of the exam.

C:  Earplugs. To try to drown out the commotion that the obnoxious fucker (probably you) is probably going to cause during the exam.

D:  some sort of food that not only crunches when you eat it, but that gives off a fucking noxious odor that makes the people around you (whose stomachs and systems are also filled to the breaking point with caffeine) want to simultaneously barf and kill you. You dumbass motherfucker.

E:  5-hour energy. Taken when you start flagging--generally 1/3 of the way in. Need I say more?


F:  the Diet Coke you're going to pop in the middle of the goddamn exam right as I've come up with something brilliant to say. This, of course, will make my mouth water, and also make me lose whatever train of conscious thought I had going.


G:  see D, only this is SUPERSIZED, so you want to make sure to eat it in the middle of the exam and make AS MUCH FUCKING NOISE OPENING THE BAG AS POSSIBLE.

H:  the sole pencil you have for the Scantron whose lead will probably break halfway through filling in the bubbles. You probably even had to bum this off of someone else. Because who uses pencils?

I:   the eraser you've somehow managed to keep since you were a 1L purchasing school supplies. It will be in the bottom of your bookbag, probably covered in some kind of foreign substance.

J:  pens. Because you're almost definitely going to have to write something by hand, even if you don't want to.

K:  six fucking colors of highlighters. Because you're apparently still of the mindset that you should use the highlighting system generally only utilized by first week 1Ls before they decide to stop reading altogether.

L:   the watch you've finally remembered to bring after the last time you got COMPLETELY fucked by the proctor administering the exam.

M: the space reserved for the test that is probably going to make you want to vomit a little bit.

Now, if you look closely at the picture, you'll notice two things enclosed outside of the desk, but no less prevalent in the preparation of a law student for final exams. 

N:  the non-prescribed pills that the law student has been popping for the previous 72 hours prior to the exam. Adderall to pick you up, Ambien to put you down (after the exam, naturally), and God knows what else.
O:  RedBull almost certainly chugged down as if it was the breastmilk obtained from the teat of knowledge....except it's not and it probably isn't going to sit well with the 17+ other types of caffeine you've been swilling for the last umpteen hours.

Not enough hours in the day.....

The end of school is rapidly approaching, and I'm confronting life with all the grace of a lumbering wildebeest and the social skills of a velociraptor.

I have three finals in the course of a week, six memos to finish for ONE clinic, final hours for a judicial externship, a 10 page paper for the aforementioned judicial externship, and OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE..................

My heightened surliness was recently remarked upon by my mother, Mad Maxine, who has a velociraptor approach in every avenue of life (thus making her observations that much more poignant).

Max: you've gotta relax a little bit. You've been bitchier than ever lately. What calms you down?
Me: Tequila.
Max: No, seriously.
Me: I am being serious. Tequila.
Max: Okay....
Me: So what do you suggest?
Max: Tequila.


If you need me, I'll be under my desk clutching my bff bottle.

Law school vacation...I mean, competition.

Went to law school competition this weekend. And by weekend, I mean Wednesday through today (Sunday). As I have class on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday only, this means I missed AN ENTIRE WEEK OF SCHOOL. Happily, I'm regaining about 12 hours of free time per week that I am no longer devoting to practicing for the competition, so I should be able to mitigate missing so much school.

So, highlights of my week include:

1) The two feet of snow that fell while visiting. Thank God I packed snowboots. And purchased sweater tights. And that I like snow.

2) Visiting the Molly Brown Museum. She did so much more than survive the Titanic. I seriously recommend visiting if you are ever in Denver. She's a remarkable woman and a monument to to the women's rights movement.

3) Arguing in a real courtroom. It was marble. With real wood. And I got to introduce blown up evidence (i.e. evidence that was enlarged, not set on fire). And make really sweet arguments. (ON THE GROUNDS THAT IT'S DEVASTATING TO MY CASE!!!)

4) $65 per diem. Enough said. NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM.

5) Losing all the competitions, but winning the mingling award and gleaning the best prize of the night: free drink tickets. My teammates loved me for this. (Although those huge gavels were pretty fucking sweet, too.)

6) A hotel room all to myself. Apparently my school is awesome. And understands the possibility of women killing each other if forced to room together. My room was baller. The view? Not so much.

Some of the not so awesome things that I experienced while on my "boondoggle" to Denver (you trial comp people know what the hell I mean by that):

1) Missing the opportunity to eat at Crepes & Crepes. DAMN YOU, SKEWED SENSE OF DIRECTION. DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL.

2) Missing my dog. I'd like to thank a VERY good friend of mine, Tigger (she'll get this reference), for watching my crazy Crackers. I'm eternally grateful, and glad to be home with my goofy dog.

3) Not having any type of schedule. Our itinerary was one of a bunch of half-drunk fratties on spring break: we had no fucking clue what was going on. My coach isn't big on communication. Didn't know my flight number. Or my hotel name. Or my flight time. Or when any of the competitions were. Or my middle name. You get the drift. Thus this blog was spawned by my freaked out (and obviously sarcastic) mother, Maxine.

I could go on and on, but I'm going to save it for tomorrow (or perhaps the next, after I've fully recovered from this trip) when I blog about the politics of law school competitions, and perhaps offer a few friendly pointers for those considering competing in such a program.

And maybe tell a funny story or two.

Maybe.

Final semester

I don't really have very much to write right now, although I expect all of that to change in the next few days since school is starting. I've got some difficult classes that I may or may not be looking forward to, and am taking a vow to read ALL THE CASES.

I don't know how long that will last, particularly since I don't even have any  all of the books for my classes. I'm also going to use my planner every.single.day. This will happen folks, because I have a B-E-A-utiful planner just begging for my handwriting. I'm also going to attempt to use technology to schedule my life. Since technology hates me, however, I may be better off sticking to handwriting.

Other than that, I've got an excellent schedule, a reasonably clean house, and fun activities in the next few weeks.

And by fun, I mean soul-sucking, legal-related stuff from which I will probably not derive any pleasure.

Sixth semester= sixth circle of Hell. I'd say Dante's description of the Sixth Circle suits the last semester of law school to a tee--"a vast landscape rife with distress and wretched punishment."

Yep. That about sums it up. Distress and punishment.

How wonderfully divine.

Back that ass up

2011 was a good year. 2012 is going to be even better. 

Because I said so, dammit. 

I've been spending a lot of time doing nothing the past couple of weeks. And when I say nothing, I mean not even feeding myself (although I have, admittedly, been showering). With the new year comes new responsibilities, however, and there are some big changes I am looking forward to in 2012. In 2012, I graduate from law school. I will hopefully pass the Bar. I will also hopefully land a job. That is a shit ton of hoping, children.

With a new job presumably comes a move. I'm not sure where I am moving. I am not sure if I will even be hired. Which means I'm designating 2012 as:

THE YEAR OF THE BACKUP....

A backup plan if things don't work out how they should. A backup plan to ensure my continued sanity. A backup plan that somehow doesn't involve my parents paying for my bills and gas.

Because we all know that stripping is a totally legitimate backup plan, right?

Right??????

Your guide to an open-book law final.....

Law students like to make a big deal over not having to study as hard for open book/notes-allowable finals. To them I say "Are you FUCKING NUTS?????"


You see, it has been my experience that professors with those types of finals take this as a challenge.

A challenge to cram as much material possible into a three and a half hour long exam.
A challenge to make it into a 60 multiple choice exam with 3 long essay questions.
A challenge to cram eleventy billion issues into a 30 page essay question.

These professors are ruthless. They have no conscience. They consider torturing poor law students during the holiday season to be the star on top of their damn Christmas trees (or the candles in their menorahs, if you will....)

But there is hope. If, at the beginning of the school year, you actually read their syllabus, there are certain techniques you can utilize to beat these sadists at their own game. Behold the glory:

1) Highlight anything they discuss at length in class. Yes, this requires you to listen. But if they go over it and over it in class, you can pick their favorite shit and regurgitate it during the exam. They love this.

2) Tab the important cases. If they EVER say "this is a landmark case," then you can bet your sweet bippy it will be on the exam. Be prepared. Brief that shit (Westlaw should suffice), write it in the columns, and write a few cases that may also be relevant after it's over. You'll be glad you did.

3) Be aware of the notes. After the cases are the true test landminds--hypos and cases that didn't make it to front and center. These are dangerous, and much more likely to show up in an exam than the cases you were required to brief. Take an interest in these cases. Fuck the real reading--read this instead.

4) When creating your outline, make a table of contents. A lot of these exams depend on how well you can cross-reference, not how well you can write. This means to number your pages, be able to go from one topic to the other in a pinch, and GET THERE QUICKLY. Table of contents enable this.

5) Write page numbers in your outlines. You know how you highlighted your shit earlier? PUT PAGE NUMBERS THROUGHOUT YOUR OUTLINES--that way you can open your book to the information, your notes to the information, and cross-reference to your little heart's desire.

6) Prepare your answers. This is good for any final, but especially for those finals you can bring materials to. Write your CRuPAC, or whatever weird mnemonic device you've been taught, and then fill in the rest. This saved my ass in Civ Pro.

Yeah, this isn't rocket science, but it's also not necessarily things you think about until you're under the gun in the test you walked into with the mindset that it won't be that bad. Guess what? IT IS THAT BAD. As State Farm commercials say, don't be a Jerry. 15 minutes or less could save you from cold sweats later (okay, I used Geico commercials too). All's I know is I don't want to be the guy who drove his car up a fucking pole.

It's embarrassing.

And completely unnecessary.

Baby Mama Drama....

Tomorrow is my first final. As a result, I've been doing anything--and I do mean anything--to avoid studying. I have washed my dishes (the most hated of ALL THINGS). I have closed my cases out for a clinic. I'm caught up on all my washed laundry (but still have to fold shit--the second most hated of ALL THINGS). I've gotten a haircut (which no one has noticed--I fucking HATE final exam weeks). I have planned an outing in the dog park for Crackers. The stockings are hung by the window with care. I've been clothes shopping at Goodwill. I've got a stocked pantry too.

So now, unless I want to clean out my disgusting car or spend the entire day vacuuming, I had better get to some studying.

My final is in domestic relations.

I think I'll turn on some Jerry Springer for real-life case examples.

The zombie apocalypse...law school finals style

I got into a lively discussion with some of my twitter friends the other day about the impending zombie apocalypse and whether a crossbow would serve as an adequate weapon. Then I realized something today.....I've already been preparing for it!!! So far, I've compared law school finals to the Rocky series (aka: getting my ass whooped and coming back for more), being on serious and dangerous medication (the adverse side effects are already manifesting themselves, y'all) and now, I've got another basis of comparison:

There's no doubt about it: preparing for law school finals is like readying yourself for the pending zombie apocalypse, only you can't kill the people around you that are trying to suck your soul from your body and render you a member of the undead....unfortunately. So, like all good law students, I'm sure you want to be ready, and I've prepared a list to ensure that you remain one of the living. Ready yourself....

1) Devise a plan: you know yourself. You know your capabilities. Don't plan for being able to do shit that is obviously beyond your capabilities. If you are slow, prepare your car should you need to get the fuck out of Dodge. If you are stupid, simplify your outline.

2) Stockpile a food arsenal. A week before final exams (which coincides nicely with Thanksgiving in the fall semester, just so you know), prepare about three freezable meals. Put those bitches in single serving tins (makes about 12-15 meals) and freeze them. Or just go to the grocery store and buy 15 boxes of Hot Pockets, 5 frozen pizzas, and ten gallons of Red Bull.

3) Buy dry shampoo: No matter if you are killing zombies or slaying finals, you are going to want to appear clean....even if you aren't. I recommend at least three cans of dry shampoo, a light body mist (NOTICE I SAID LIGHT), breath mints, and a prescription strength deodorant. Even if you are dead doesn't mean you have to smell like you are.

4) Important documents: even the CDC has recognized the possibility of a ZA. They recommend getting all your important documents together, and I couldn't agree more. This means you need a copy of your school id, the outlines you can actually bring in to tests, your study aids, and blue books, should you be a handwriter.

5) Medications: if you are on ANY prescription drugs (e.g. birth control, adderall, narcotics, or Viagra) be sure to have these prescriptions filled before the end of the semester craziness ensues. Trust me, you don't want to need your Viagra and not have it.

6) Preventative supplies: your immune system is down; you are surrounded by sick people; you are probably going to get sick. Buy zinc, the only thing proven to shorten a common cold, AND USE IT. Get some Advil (which you can take with alcohol--you can't drink with Tylenol, btw) for the head/backaches you're likely going to encounter. For that matter, buy some booze too. You know what they say....an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

7) Earplugs: you surprisingly don't see this on many lists. I say surprisingly because you are obviously going to need to muffle sounds--the sounds of fellow students or the sounds of gunfire as you're plowing down zombies. Duh.

8)   Adequate weaponry: this can be combined with your important documents, but there's so much more that can go with your weaponry. May I suggest your killing theme song (my personal choice being "Bohemian Rhapsody"), your highlighters, outlines you've managed to procure from people indubitably smarter than you, and dollars for snack machines?

9) Your "wolfpack": I'm with Zack Galifianakis on this one. You need your wolfpack--this doesn't mean you have to study with them, but it's always nice to have someone to accompany you as you drink yourself into oblivion. Also, they may be able to provide you with outlines, and they'll have your back (hopefully--I've got doubts about fellow law students, to tell the truth) should a zombie sneak up on you.

10) Avoid large groups of people: you can never be sure which of these people is waiting to morph into a zombie. And by zombie, I mean the asshole who starts bemoaning the upcoming exam, or mindfucking you into believing the exam you just took may have anally had you. It's also harder to study with large groups of people, and you tend to go out and drink as a reward for a half hour of "studying."

Do you have any tips for surviving the upcoming apocalypse?

Law school finals: take only as directed

We are rapidly approaching finals times. And everywhere, you will hear law students bitching and moaning about these upcoming tests. If you have any kind of relationship (father, brother, lover, sister from another mother) with a law student, let me be the first to offer my condolences during this incredibly difficult time.

If you are in a relationship with a 1L and have yet to experience the joy of final exam times, let me tell you: they should come with a warning label. Essentially, law school finals (hereby shortened to LSF) are like a drug with which you have terrible TERRIBLE reactions, even if you aren't technically taking them.

This is what the drug label would look like:

I don't recommend them.

HAPPY FINALS, PEOPLE!!!!

Thanksreceiving

It's been a really great day. A really really REALLY great day. I've washed about a quatrillion dishes and gained about eleventy billion pounds, but that's okay.

I'm thankful for my little brother, who keeps torturing my poor dog. I'm thankful for my parents, who drove to ME to prepare and devour our delicious meal. I'm thankful for Leonidas, who was unable to be with his family today and has been stuck at work unable to leave for the past fifteen hours. I'm thankful my football game isn't until tomorrow, and hopeful the Hogs play the second AND the first halves to their greatest potential (here's looking at you, Aggies).

I'm thankful to be able to represent children who might not otherwise have an advocate looking out for them. I'm thankful for the opportunity to plead down two felonies to misdemeanors yesterday for one of those clients. I'm thankful to have the chance to present a full Crawford v. Washington confrontation clause defense before I ever graduate law school. I'm thankful for two more weeks to cram in all I need to do before finals start.

I'm excited for Christmas. And Christmas trees. And Christmas decorations. And purchasing and wrapping cheerful presents for other people. And possibly dressing Crackers in a silly Christmas costume and posing with her in front of the aforementioned Christmas decorations.

I'm fearful of the next few weeks and the incredible amount of work I have to accomplish before it's all over (I equate it to childbirth). But thankful....because I have an amazing support system, a roof over my head, a dog that loves me unconditionally....

and about three weeks of leftovers. YAY FOR TURKEY (and dressing, pie, casserole, and other soon-to-be-frozen items)!!!!!!

Obviously, I was bullied....

Today in my Juvenile Justice class, a girl gave a presentation regarding cyberbullying. Now, I'm no angel, but when I was a kid, I knew right from wrong. I also defend juveniles, so I'm not inherently against them nor do I judge them for their alleged "transgressions." In fact, most the time I think the prosecutor overreaches for their charges and the police use their authority to intimidate kids into confessions.

Another note: I'm a decently jaded person. That being said, today, I was pretty demoralized about the general lack of compassion or character my classmates have regarding the subject of bullying.

People were quick to classify it as "horseplay." Or as "just telling the truth." Or as "kids being kids."

They also said that we had all done it.

I'm sorry, but some of us had parents who would have whooped their asses if they tormented other kids. And some kids just have a fucking heart without the fear of potential ass-whoopings.

Maybe when you bully someone, it makes you feel good. I know when I hurt someone's feelings, it generally makes me feel like a piece of shit.

Let's not make excuses for what has now been classified as criminal behavior. Address the problem.

Because they know it's wrong.

And so do you.

Lucy in the Sky with Cubic Zirconium

This week was pretty much the week from Hell. I had a shitton of stuff I had to make happen, including a few interviews for externships next semester, a presentation for one of my classes, and a gazillion client interviews that somehow had to take place. But somehow I got through it and it's now Friday and I'm sitting in my house clutching two bags of Goodwill purchases and rocking myself like a baby preparing to make dinner like a big kid. (Okay, I did go to Goodwill.)

The most interesting thing to take place this week was probably one of the interviews for a judicial externship. I went in and introduced myself and the judge (who I have NEVER EVER MET BEFORE) said it was nice to see me again, effectively shaming me into a pool of self-doubt about whether we had, in fact, ever actually been introduced before. I maintain we hadn't. But I digress. After our standard repartee regarding why I want the externship and my studies (which I kinda like, because I always seem to have a new answer), we started to meander into other topics.

Like how she once represented a woman in a divorce proceeding who always smelled kinda funny and she never knew what the scent was. Until the lady was arrested for meth. (Oops for requesting child custody.)

Or how I had done an internship this summer and was scared shitless about the job and how much I anticipated hating it (I may have substituted in crap instead) and how I actually ended up loving it. (Maybe that's kinda relevant.)

Or how it's impossible for someone to overdose on LSD, and how the judge had always kinda wanted to try it, but figured she would have a flashback twenty years down the road in court and so she never did.

And how LSD is now being advocated for people suffering severe depression and it supposedly actually works.

And how anytime I smell pot, I want to barf all over the place and how I hate getting on the bus because I never know if the bus will smell like Reefer Joe over in the corner who just got done toking it up right before he boarded.

Oh, and how I saw pot the first time when I was in college and how I had a minor freakout.

And how she knew kids that smoked pot all the time in law school and once they pulled it out in front of her and she also had a minor freakout.

We then agreed that legalizing drugs wasn't necessarily a problem, since the people who are going to try heroin are going to do it regardless of whether it's legal or not, and we just don't want to have to deal with people doing it in public.

Yes, people, I spent approximately 25.3465 minutes of a 30 minute interview discussing drugs...with a circuit judge.

She offered me the externship the next morning. And naturally I accepted.